Cerebral Palsy is a disability that is caused by brain damage to a baby at, before, or shortly after their birth. It affects a person's muscles and their ability to move and control them normally. The severity of this disability varies greatly. Cerebral Palsy may be very debilitating, or hardly noticeable, or even just somewhere in between.

So, now that you know a little bit about my specific disability, let me tell you about what it's like living everyday of your life with a challenge such as a disability.

When I was a small child, I had no idea that I was different. I thought that simple things, such as, jumping rope, hopping on one foot, skipping, and many other things, were as difficult for everyone else as they were for me. That is because my parents never told me I was any different, and in some ways, I thank them for that, but in others, I wish they'd have told me, because it only hurt me in the long run. Therapy was always such a routine in my life, that I never gave it a second thought. I had undergone physical and occupational therapy since before I could remember.

My differences really became evident when I began school. In preschool, I had attended a program for kids with disabilities of different types, so I thought that everyone was like the kids I went to preschool with. Boy was I mistaken.

Other kids began teasing me, laughing at me, taunting me, and calling me mean names like "dumb" and "retarded." This hurt me, but I never really told anyone 'til I grew older, because I was always a very strong-willed person, who did not like to show a weak side.

I dealt with my feelings of rejection privately, so that no one would find out that there was even anything going on in my life that was making me hurt emotionally. This went on all through my elementary school years.

Then, I entered middle school, and the teenage years. Why didn't anyone ever tell me these years would be the most painful ones in my life? As I was beginning to care about looks, boys, and my friendships more, it seemed like people were teasing me more and more. Or, was it just that it was hurting me more and more? I was on an emotional rollercoaster because of everyone's comments. I would be happy one minute, and extremely upset, sometimes even crying, the next, just because of someone's stupid comment.

By this time, the teasing was really affecting my self-esteem, so I felt very alone, and left out because everyone else began going out with the opposite sex, joining sports teams (which I obviously couldn't, because I had a disability afterall), and other activities which were impossible for me to do because of my Cerebral Palsy.

In eighth grade, I decided I needed some help coping with my emotions. I went to school counselors, and friends, and even my family for advice. I think the hardest person to talk to about my feelings as far as my disability, was the person that means the most to me, my mother. I think the reason I found it to be such a challenge, is because I did not want to let her know how much I was hurting, in fear of hurting her. I would tell her bits and pieces like "I had a bad day today." and then, of course, she'd ask me why, and I would reply "I don't want to talk about it." Or, "You wouldn't understand." She was pretty much at a loss as to how to help me, and I could tell this was true, because she wouldn't say much when we talked about my feelings about having a disability, and, depending on her mood, would sometimes even avoid the subject altogether.

So, in the summer of 1997, my mother sought some counseling for me. This was great, because it allowed me to divulge my feelings to one person, and not tell anyone else if I chose not to.

Then, it was the start of my freshman year of high school. That was the scariest thing I had to experience in a long time. I was so afraid of rejection. Sure enough, that's what happened to me-- I was rejected by my peers once again. None of the people I had attended school with since kindergarten teased me much anymore, because they were used to me, but the upperclassmen sure did.

When I first started high school, I wanted to crawl under a rock and just disappear most days after school. It seemed like everyday I'd come home and cry "I don't want to go back." Everyday it was a new comment, or rumor someone had spread about me. Didn't they know that a person with a disability is a person too? Obviously not.

Thanks to my mom telling me to "hang in there" and that it would eventually get atleast a little better, I did not give up, though I was more than ready to more times than I can count.

Eventually, though things are still not the best for me at school, they did get better. The people who were teasing me at the beginning of the year, had stopped because they were no longer getting fun out of it.

So, throughout all my life experiences, I guess the one thing I have learned that has really stayed in my mind, is that if you keep persevering, and don't give up, despite the odds that you may have against you, it will eventually pay off.

As I mature, I learn to accept the fact that some people look at disabled people as inferior to themselves, and don't really take it too personally anymore. There are days, where of course I wish that my Cerebral Palsy would just magically disappear, but I know it won't, and so I accept it.

I live by the quote "I am not disabled, I am differently-abled." and this really helps me on the path of success both in school and in my personal life.

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