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Label's Are For Cans -- Not For Kids This is a story of a young boy Who was born 8 weeks early. He had so much hair His parents named him Curly. He was very cute Blue shirt and white socks. I should also mention He was "positive tox." But born premature He was in a difficult position The pediatrician warned his parents Curley's got a "genetic predisposition." But not to worry, said the doctor, It's come to my attention There's a new program around Called "early intervention." His behavior was strange To say the very best So his parents did the usual. They took him for some tests. The doctors were dismayed That his milestones were delayed, EEG, blood tests, x-rays, The first of many diagnosis were made. The entire staff got together And said I'll bet you a quarter This little child has a "seizure disorder." Relieved with a clear answer The diagnosticians walked tall. The parents left the hospital With a bucket of phenobarbital. Two pills a day Both morning and night. But when Curley went to school Nothing seemed right. Eye contact was poor. Attention span short. Now it was the teachers who held their own court. This child is different, His language has not started. Perhaps this child is "mentally retarded." But mental retardation He didn't seem to the eye. possibly not global Just minimally "B.I." Seizure disorder, retardation, brain injury Not exactly topics for a luncheon. Maybe make this label more palatable And call it a "perceptual dysfunction" The parents were scared The child lost too. Now they really had Some testing to do. But who would they see Pediatrician, teacher, neurologist? No- they chose the local speech pathologist. More testing, more games An attempt to be realistic. The speech pathologist said He's not brain injured-he's "autistic!" But he did well in therapy Too well for his label So more diagnosis were put on the table. Should the child leave home To keep the family in order? No-specialists said-it's not autism, It's a "pervasive developmental disorder." Many therapists continued And his affect progressed. Maybe the wrong label Had once again been addressed. The mom was upset. The therapist tried to support her, And as Curly improved, they thought It's a "phonological disorder." A phonological disorder Well, that can relax ya. Years ago, wasn't it called "Developmental Apraxia?" But as he did better in school Despite his previous label. It became clear to all He was simply "learning disabled!" Well, that's pretty vague A need to be more specific Dysgraphia, dyslexia, dyscalculia All seemed less horrific. While academics improved His behavior seemed worse It was more than LD A new unknown curse. We moved to the 80's And LD seemed rather old We must find a new label Before the clues get cold! More testing, more opinions A neuropsychological to put it in order This is the 90's He's got "attention deficit disorder." But it was more than academics. His behavior was too bad. Continued medication Only made him feel sad. The specialists got together At conferences like these. An attempt to label further. The audience seemed pleased. Research and data The basis of our creativity The labels had been all wrong It's "ADD with hyperactivity!" My question is tongue and cheek How important is the label? Shouldn't we just describe the symptoms And put each one on the table? Well, Curly's doing well He's a therapist today. He avoids using labels In every possible way. He provides for his patients A daily dose of reality. The only problem is- he's a analyst With a "borderline personality." By Arnold Shapiro |