Confusion of Others, Who Can't or Won't See our pain.
Love is lost and gone.
Found again only to be lost again.
Love found me through eyes of sorrow.
And now it looks on to me through every endless tomorrow.
Trying to look after me as to guide me through confusion to
peace.
But there seems to be no release, nothing seems to cease.
What do I feel for him? Is it love? Is it need? Is it want?
Pain keeps coming and coming and coming.
This feeling is so shameful for me.
But yet still I am inclined to see,
what wonder lies beneath this violent sea of emotionless
shame, love, and pain.
It covers my soul and stops my forever fading glee.
My smile has long been lost long ago, held by the hungry,
judgmental hands of a society that never knew right from
wrong, peace from grief or love from desire.
This love turns fear to fire and burns through the core of me.
I am no longer able to stand for myself or stand at all as the
case maybe.
Nobody sees, nobody knows the pain I feel every single day.
We all suffer and we all have said this and will continue to
do so: Live a day, a week, or a month of my life and you will
see; what has become of me will soon become of you too.
This isolation, physical pain, and loveless ness is not what
any of us ask for.
Who would ask for such darkness? Would you? It is what is
brought upon us by society.
Because of this we are forced in impossible situations where
we have to explain to others why we are so sad and mad
and why some of us would rather be dead then live in this
world full of pettiness and ignorance.
Full of people who are too blind to see the grace of their
walk, unaided by a metal contraption or plastic heavy
braces.
The fullness of their body, that has not been continuously
drugged and cut up, the glory of their breath unaided by a
plastic tube and a huge green oval oxygen tank, forever
connected to their body.
You don't have to wake up everyday wondering will I fall and
break my neck or create yet another bruise or scar on an
already blemished body.
I beg of you don't waste your time with prejudice and hate.
Instead live life with the joy of knowing you don't have utter
dependence and pain to suffer with. And live life with the joy
of knowing that you can to just that, live.

By: Julie Viva Maury

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Updated August 10, 2000