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Episode guide for the original series of Star Trek.
Copyright (C) 1994 Otto E. Heuer (HACK-MAN) FSD, Inc.
ottoh@cfsmo.honeywell.com hackman@pnet51.orb.mn.org
All rights reserved. This document may not be copied (either physically
or electronically) other than to print a copy for yourself.
This document may not be sold or incorporated in commercial
documents without the written permission of the author.
All characters are copyright Paramount.
Dedicated to myself, for all the hard work I put into it,
and to all the fans, for not letting the magic die.
MAJOR REVISIONS:
1.0.0 - Initial version I created in the 1970s.
2.0.0 - Moved to my home computer and added major updates (1987).
3.0.0 - Made major modifications and formatting changes around the
time Vidiot's TNG Guide first came out in 1988.
4.0.0 - Removed all the fancy formatting to create a "plain ASCII"
version of HTG for all the people who were complaining that
they couldn't handle the formatted version (9/1991).
RECENT CHANGES:
4.1.0 - Added page numbers.
4.1.1 - 9/11/91 - Started making modifications, now that ASCII
version is in place.
4.2.9 - Tons of mods thanks to Dave Davis (daved@westford.ccur.edu)
4.2.11- Started adding mods thanks to K Heuer (karl@kelp.boston.ma.us)
4.2.16- Fixed spelling thanks Neil Perret-Green (neil@ccl.umist.ac.uk)
4.2.17- Updated TREK RATE data and Original Airdate third season
4.2.18- Added index entry for "gravity down to .8"
4.2.19- Updated "Errand of Mercy" description, quotes and opinions
4.2.21- Updated "Bread and Circuses" and some indexing
4.2.22- Fixed "The Cage" airdate & some indexing & quotes & dir credits
4.2.27- 7/28/93 - misc mods
4.2.33- 5/19/94 - mods thnx to David Ellis (d_ellis@ricks.enet.dec.com)
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ALL OUR YESTERDAYS................................... 4
THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR............................... 6
AMOK TIME............................................ 8
AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD.......................... 10
THE APPLE............................................ 12
ARENA................................................ 14
ASSIGNMENT: EARTH................................... 16
BALANCE OF TERROR.................................... 18
BREAD AND CIRCUSES................................... 20
BY ANY OTHER NAME.................................... 22
THE CAGE............................................. 24
CATSPAW.............................................. 26
THE CHANGELING....................................... 28
CHARLIE X............................................ 30
THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER...................... 32
THE CLOUD MINDERS.................................... 34
THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING........................... 36
THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER............................... 38
COURT-MARTIAL........................................ 40
DAGGER OF THE MIND................................... 42
DAY OF THE DOVE...................................... 44
THE DEADLY YEARS..................................... 46
THE DEVIL IN THE DARK................................ 48
THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE................................. 50
ELAAN OF TROYIUS..................................... 52
THE EMPATH........................................... 54
THE ENEMY WITHIN..................................... 56
THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT.............................. 58
ERRAND OF MERCY...................................... 60
FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY.. 62
FRIDAY'S CHILD....................................... 64
THE GALILEO SEVEN.................................... 66
THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION.......................... 68
I, MUDD.............................................. 70
THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME................................ 72
IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY?......................... 74
JOURNEY TO BABEL..................................... 76
LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD.................... 78
THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR.................................. 80
THE MAN TRAP......................................... 82
THE MARK OF GIDEON................................... 84
THE MENAGERIE (PART 1)............................... 86
THE MENAGERIE (PART 2)............................... 88
METAMORPHOSIS........................................ 90
MIRI................................................. 92
MIRROR, MIRROR....................................... 94
MUDD'S WOMEN......................................... 96
THE NAKED TIME....................................... 98
OBSESSION............................................ 100
THE OMEGA GLORY...................................... 102
OPERATION--ANNIHILATE!............................... 104
THE PARADISE SYNDROME................................ 106
PATTERNS OF FORCE.................................... 108
A PIECE OF THE ACTION................................ 110
PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN................................. 112
A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR................................. 114
REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH............................... 116
RETURN OF THE ARCHONS................................ 118
RETURN TO TOMORROW................................... 120
THE SAVAGE CURTAIN................................... 122
SHORE LEAVE.......................................... 124
SPACE SEED........................................... 126
SPECTRE OF THE GUN................................... 128
SPOCK'S BRAIN........................................ 130
THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS................................. 132
A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON................................ 134
THAT WHICH SURVIVES.................................. 136
THIS SIDE OF PARADISE................................ 138
THE THOLIAN WEB...................................... 140
TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY................................ 142
THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES............................ 144
TURNABOUT INTRUDER................................... 146
THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER................................ 148
THE WAY TO EDEN...................................... 150
WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF?....................... 152
WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE......................... 154
WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS............................... 156
WHOM GODS DESTROY.................................... 158
WINK OF AN EYE....................................... 160
WOLF IN THE FOLD..................................... 162
EPISODE LIST BY AIR DATE............................. 164
EPISODE LIST BY HACKMAN RATING....................... 166
EPISODE LIST BY USENET RATING........................ 168
MISC INFORMATION..................................... 170
TOS MUSIC............................................ 176
BIBLIOGRAPHY......................................... 186
INDEX................................................ 187
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jean Lisette Aroeste
DIRECTOR: Marvin Chomsky
GUESTS: Ian Wolfe (Mr Atoz)
Mariette Hartley (Zarabeth)
Kermit Murdock (The Prosecutor)
AIRED: March 14, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .770
Usenet rating: .702
QUOTES:
=======
- "There *are* witches!" --The Prosecutor
- "A wide range of alternatives is a mixed blessing" -- Atoz
- "Unfortunately, he is the doctor, not I" -- Spock to Zarabeth
- "Mr. Spock has been practicing medicine without a license" -- McCoy
- "...the worst patient on the Enterprise" -- Spock, about McCoy
ALL OUR YESTERDAYS
PLOT:
=====
A rescue mission to Sarpeidon (a planet whose sun is about to [super]nova)
results in Kirk, Spock, and McCoy being sent to various areas of the
planet's past. Kirk is to be tried as a witch, but eventually gets back to
the present with the help of another time-leaper.
Spock and McCoy are sent to a glacial age. Spock falls in love with
Zarabeth, a redhead convict, who was sent back into the glacial age as
punishment. The librarian (Mr. AtoZ) runs the time machine with android
clones of himself. You put a disc of the time period you want to travel to
and jump through a portal. The discs look surprisingly a lot like compact
discs!
FACTS:
======
- 1 Stardate = 1.25 hours to 16.08 hours.
- McCoy is this week's dork.
- The people of the planet have mastered time travel but not space travel.
- Since Spock is in the past, he is capable of early Vulcan lust and
anger.
- Nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Art Direction and Scenic
Design" Emmy in 68-69 (Walter M. Jeffries, Jr., Art Director, and John
Dwyer, Set Decorator).
OPINIONS:
=========
A pretty good (and original) story. There were a few minor flaws, however.
Why does Spock revert to a 5000 year old Vulcan but McCoy doesn't revert to
a 5000 year old human? Spock mentions that "Kirk has gone through the
portal to a different time, much later", but didn't Kirk go through the
portal *after* McCoy and Spock? How did Spock know that Kirk was even *in*
the portal?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
6 THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Don Ingalls
DIRECTOR: Gerd Oswald
GUESTS: Robert Brown (Lazarus?)
Janet MacLachlan (Lt. Charlene Masters)
Richard Derr
Eddie Paskey
AIRED: March 30, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .100
Usenet rating: .170
QUOTES:
=======
- "[But you'll be trapped as well, forever, at each others' throat, for-
ever through time]." --Kirk "Is it such a large price to pay for the
safety of *two* universes?" --Lazarus
- "We both know I'm a bright young medic with a miraculous touch." --McCoy
to Kirk
- "I'm just a country doctor." --McCoy
- "I confess I am at somewhat a loss for words." --Spock
- "Madness has no purpose or reason, but it may have a goal." --Spock
- "Our ship's instruments are specifically designed to locate and identify
any object in the universe." --Spock
THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR
PLOT:
=====
Lazarus is a schizophrenic time traveler whose personalities are fighting
each other through time and space. There is a rip in the space/time fabric
and Lazarus seems to be the key to the anomaly. There's a fire in
engineering started by Lazarus to steal dilithium crystals (which he needs
to power his ship in order to kill his alternate personality).
FACTS:
======
- Planet has zero gravity for a split second.
- They evacuate to 100 parsecs.
- Alternate universe.
- Magnetic field.
- Red Two message from Starfleet Command: Code Factor One, signifying
invasion status.
- Kirk orders Mr. Leslie to lay in a course for "Starbase 200". Leslie,
usually a security redshirt, was seen at both the conn and the helm in
this episode.
OPINIONS:
=========
This episode dragged a minimal plot out for an hour, but had some fair
acting and one of the better quotes in Star Trek.
There are, however, a couple of major flaws regarding anti-matter. If the
one Lazarus himself is anti-matter, he should have been destroyed
immediately when he came into contact with *any* matter, not just his
counterpart. (likewise for kirk in the anti-matter universe.) also, if
the two lazari did manage to annihilate each other, they would make a big
boom (E=mc2), but it shouldn't destroy the entire universe(s).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 AMOK TIME
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Theodore Sturgeon
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Arlene Martel (T'Pring?)
Celia Lovsky (T'Pau)
Lawrence Montaigne (T'Pring's lover Stonn?)
Byron Morrow (Admiral Komack)
AIRED: September 15, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .780
Usenet rating: .826
QUOTES:
=======
- "Are you a doctor or aren't you?" --Kirk
- "He's as tight-lipped about it as an Aldebaran Shellmouth." --McCoy
- "You've been called the best first officer in the fleet." --Kirk
- "Vulcan biology - meaning the biology of Vulcans?" --Kirk
- "Humans have no conception." --Spock
- "You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I shall
certainly break your neck." --Spock
- "Any home port this ship makes will be somebody else's, not mine."
--Kirk quotes one of Finagle's laws
- "I think I'm going to get space sick" -- Chekov
- "You never give up hoping, do you?" --McCoy (to Chapel, after she offers
Spock some Vulcan Plomik soup)
AMOK TIME
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is headed for Altair 6 for a presidential inauguration (that
Star Fleet Command says they must attend or it will cause a disturbance
that will create ripples felt all the way to the Klingon Empire). Spock
steals the Enterprise and goes to Vulcan to take a wife (T'Pring, the woman
to whom he was betrothed), due to Pon Farr, the instinctive Vulcan mating
cycle which strikes adult male Vulcans every seven years.
T'Pring doesn't want to marry Spock, so she calls for Kunut Kalifee, a
fight to the death. Spock and Kirk end up fighting for T'Pring. T'Pau (a
high-ranking (female) Vulcan official) oversees the ceremony.
McCoy complains that the fight wouldn't be fair to Kirk because of the thin
Vulcan atmosphere. T'Pau allows him to give Kirk a triox compound to
compensate, but he gives Kirk a neural paralyzer instead. This makes it
appear as if Spock has actually killed Kirk (since he appears dead). They
beam Kirk's body back up to the ship and McCoy revives him.
FACTS:
======
- T'Pau is the only person ever to refuse a seat on the Federation
Council.
- Vulcan has 2000 years of history.
- They defy Star Fleet Command and Kirk.
- Nurse Chapel has the hots for Spock.
- The giant eel-bird of Regulus 5 return to their nest every eleven years.
- Kirk and Bones make a mockery of Kunut Kalifee (a ceremony where two
people try to kill each other instead of killing the annoying bastards
shaking the big tambourines).
- This is the episode where Ensign Chekov makes his debut (1st episode,
2nd season). (Catspaw was the one he was first filmed in, although this
aired after Amok Time).
- This was the first episode with the Vulcan "live long and prosper"
salute.
- First episode with McCoy in opening credits? (or Shore Leave)
- Weapons: Lirpa (with that sharp blade), Ahn Woon (sling/bolo type).
OPINIONS:
=========
This is a pretty good episode (and it set up for quite a bit of history for
Mr. Spock).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
10 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Edward J. Lakso
DIRECTOR: Marvin Chomsky
GUESTS: Craig Hundley (Tommy Starnes)
James Wellman (Professor Starnes)
Melvin Belli (Gorgan (The Friendly Angel))
Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel)
Pamelyn Ferdin (Mary)
Caesar Belli (Steve)
Mark Robert Brown (Don)
Brian Tochi (Ray)
Lou Elias (1st Technician)
AIRED: October 11, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .010
Usenet rating: .050
QUOTES:
=======
- "Hail, hail, fire and snow..." --The Children
AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD
PLOT:
=====
A group of brats under the leadership of the Friendly Angel steal the
Enterprise, after killing their parents. The Friendly Angel convinced them
that with their parents out of the way they'd be able to have much more
fun. The children play on the secret fears of the crew to make them
imagine things that aren't there (e.g.: Sulu sees knives coming at the
screen and refuses to change course.) Kirk eventually convinces the brats
that they miss their parents by showing them visual recordings of them
playing on the planet.
FACTS:
======
- Kirk beams two red shirts into space, thinking they are still in orbit
around the planet.
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty lame.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
12 THE APPLE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Max Ehrlich and Gene Coon
STORY: Max Ehrlich
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Keith Andes
Celeste Yarnall
Jay Jones
Shari Nims
David Soul
AIRED: October 13, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .440
Usenet rating: .216
QUOTES:
=======
- Kirk hits a peaceful man, then says "I will not hurt you."
- "We come in peace" <> --Kirk
- "The center is deep in the *earth* beneath us." --Spock
- "Like nothing I've ever seen before." --Scotty (about the antimatter
drain)
- "I guess you'll have to fire me, sir." --Scotty
- "Mister Spock, do you know anyone on this ship who even remotely
resembles Satan?" --Kirk
THE APPLE
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is under attack by Vaal, a big stone idol that the primitive
natives feed. It is really a machine that guides the actions and
environment of the populace. There are no children on the planet.
Everyone speaks perfect English except they don't know the words "children"
or "love". The natives laugh at Spock's speech.
FACTS:
======
- Kirk fires Scotty.
- Exploding rocks.
- Flowers shoot darts.
- Chekov falls for Yeoman Martha London.
OPINIONS:
=========
The plot was a bit drafty with all the holes in it (knowing all but two
words of English, etc) and the acting wasn't the best I've seen, but not
the worst episode by any means.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
14 ARENA
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. Coon
STORY: Fredric Brown
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Carole Shelyne (the Metron)
Jerry Ayres
Grant Woods
Tom Troupe
James Farley
Sean Kenney
AIRED: January 19, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .660
Usenet rating: .652
QUOTES:
=======
- "They've locked on to my tricorder!" --Spock (how *dare* they!)
- "Gravity is down to .8" --Background voice
- "A sustained warp seven will be dangerous." --Spock
- "Yes... yeeeesssss...." --Spock
- "Diamond is the hardest known substance. --Spock
- "It's impossible." --Sulu
- "He knows, doctor. He has reasoned it out." --Spock
- "[You have displayed] the advanced [trait] of mercy." --Metron
ARENA
PLOT:
=====
The Gorns (a race of lizard-like beings) destroyed the Federation's Cestus
3 outpost. The Enterprise is in pursuit, when Kirk and the Gorn commander
are transported to a planet by the Metrons (a highly advanced race who live
1500+ year lives) for a duel to the death, winner is allowed to leave with
his ship. The two ships are allowed to view the battle on viewer screens.
Kirk wins, but refuses to kill the Gorn, saying that they can probably talk
out their differences.
FACTS:
======
- The Enterprise is moved 500 parsecs instantly at the end of the show.
- When Kirk finally manages to build a cannon to shoot the Gorn, the scene
is strikingly similar to the beginning of the episode.
- The Metron says that the loser's ship will be destroyed, but then when
Kirk wins, the metron acts as if letting Kirk live was an afterthought.
The book version clarifies this by saying the Metron lied; he'd intended
to destroy the winner's ship all along.
OPINIONS:
=========
- Why does long life imply intelligence? There are quite a few species on
the Earth that live longer than humans.
- The Gorn commander was foolish to attempt to kill Kirk *after* lifting
the rock off him (since Kirk has the speed/maneuverability advantage).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
16 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Art Wallace
STORY: Art Wallace and Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Robert Lansing (Gary Seven)
Terri Garr (Miss Lincoln)
Jim Keefer,
Morgan Jones
Lincoln Demyan
AIRED: March 29, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .650
Usenet rating: .709
QUOTES:
=======
- "And a large star-shaped mole on her..." --Gary Seven's computer, just
before Miss Lincoln manages to shut it up.
ASSIGNMENT: EARTH
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise travels back in time ("using the light speed breakaway
method") to 1968 on a historical research mission. A plot develops when
they accidentally intercept a long-range (1000 light years away)
transporter beam.
Gary Seven, along with his cat Isis, were on their way to Earth from a
hidden planet to check on the development of his fellow agents who were
supposed to sabotage and destroy a U.S. nuclear warhead [or was it an
orbiting nuclear platform?] to prevent World War Three. He claims to have
been taken from Earth ages ago by another planet. Kirk must decide if he
is telling the truth or if he is a time-travelling saboteur. Gary Seven
finds out that his fellow agents died in a car accident and decides to
finish their mission. Miss Lincoln is a bimbo secretary of his deceased
agent cohorts.
FACTS:
======
- The Bridge Crew at Princeton claim the Enterprise went back to 1969, but
I checked--it's 1968.
- Gary Seven uses a talking computer with a round screen (like round
screens are more high-tech; remember how long it took us to get to
square screens?)
- Spock's neck pinch doesn't work on Gary Seven.
- Large wall safe is a transporter portal.
- Use Enterprise deflector shields to avoid being seen from the planet.
- This was supposed to be the pilot for a new show that never made it off
the ground (which explains all the strange remarks at the end).
- Nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Film Editing" Emmy in 68-69
(Donald R. Rode). Weird, since it was a 67-68 episode.
- Kirk somehow makes a log entry with no communicator and a gun is trained
at his head (just after a commercial).
OPINIONS:
=========
- Good idea for a plot, and a fairly decent execution. Some of the
writing for Teri's part was pretty bad, however.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
18 BALANCE OF TERROR
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Paul Schneider
DIRECTOR: Vincent McEveety
GUESTS: Mark Lenard (Romulan Commander)
Paul Comi
Lawrence Montaigne
John Warburton
Stephen Mines
Barbara Baldavin
Garry Walberg
AIRED: December 15, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .440
Usenet rating: .809
QUOTES:
=======
- "We are of a kind, you and I. [Under other circumstances] I could have
called you friend." --Romulan Commander
BALANCE OF TERROR
PLOT:
=====
Kirk matches wits against the Romulan commander, trying to guess his next
moves, after following a shadow into the neutral zone near where some
outposts were destroyed.
Now the Romulans have a cloaking device and superior weapons, but the
Enterprise has superior speed (to the point that they can almost out-run
the photon torpedoes [or were these just Romulan energy disruptors?]!) An
Enterprise crew member (Mr Styles) is prejudiced against Spock when they
see that Romulans look like Vulcans. The two races were once a single race
according to Spock.
FACTS:
======
- [Astrodidium|Cast rodinium] is the hardest metal known to science.
- Enterprise phasers are short bursts like photon torpedoes.
- Uhura takes over navigation.
- Mr Styles is this week's dork.
- Neutral zone outposts 2(?), 2, 4, and 8 were trashed by the Romulan ship
before the Enterprise was able to engage (#4 was the one they saw get
destroyed on the viewer).
- Karl says this is the first encounter with the Romulans. I think the
show said it is the first time any Federation people have *seen* a Rom-
ulan, but that the Earth and the Federation fought a nuclear war with
the Romulans 100 years ago (before they had viewer screens).
- The "Bridge Crew" at Princeton think it is the first encounter between
the species to occur in several decades.
OPINIONS:
=========
Would have been better without Styles, but it introduced a good enemy, new
technology, and a further look into Vulcan history.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
20 BREAD AND CIRCUSES
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene Roddenberry and Gene L. Coon
STORY: John Kneubel
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: William Smithers (Mericus?)
Logan Ramsey (Claudius Marcus, proconsul?)
Ian Wolfe
Rhodes Reason
Lois Jewell
Bart La Rue
Jack Perkins
AIRED: March 15, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .680
Usenet rating: .554
QUOTES:
=======
- "He commands not only a spaceship, Proconsul, but a STARship" --Captain
R.M. "Mericus" Merik
- "What do you call those?" --??? "I call them 'ears'." --Spock
- "If you're speaking of worship, we serve many beliefs." --McCoy
- "I don't want to injure you." --Spock (before hitting a man with a
shield)
- "Medical men are *trained* in logic." --McCoy "Trained? Judging from
you, I would have guessed it was trial and error." --Spock
- "6,___,___ died in your first world war, 11,___,___ died in your second
world war, 37,___,___ died in your third world war." --Spock (speaking
about Earth)
- "An excellent example of Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planet Development."
--Kirk
- "I was told I am to be your slave tonight." --Drusilla
- "I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin." --McCoy
- "Torture? I do not understand" --Drewcilla
- "You're a roman, Kirk, or you should have been." --Roman Dude
- "You're centuries beyound anything as [barbaric] as television."
--Roman Dude
- "They threw me a few curves." --Kirk (referring to Drewcilla)
- "It's not the sun up in the sky, it's the son of God." --Uhura
- "Ceasar, and [___]--they had them both." --Kirk
BREAD AND CIRCUSES
PLOT:
=====
The crew of the Enterprise encounter an alternate Earth where Rome never
fell. Looks Roman except for 20th century technology. Spock and McCoy are
used to fight locals for a television show with canned audience response.
FACTS:
======
- Slaves.
- Spock cheats by helping McCoy win his battle.
- Kirk gets the loan of Proconsul's slave Drewcilla, a scantilly clad
blonde bimbo.
- Spock tries to find a way out of the cell he and McCoy are in.
- Kirk & Drewcilla start kissing, camera pans to burning lamp.
- Romans are firing machine guns at Kirk, Spock, and McCoy as they are
beaming up.
- The line "condition green" was translated to "condition red" in the
German translation.
OPINIONS:
=========
I wasn't that impressed. But then, you can only take *so* many "alternate
Earth" stories... Also, were the "Romans" speaking English or doesn't the
Universal Translator work ("son" vs "sun")?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
22 BY ANY OTHER NAME
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana and Jerome Bixby
STORY: Jerome Bixby
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Warren Stevens
Barbara Bouchet (Kelinda)
Stewart Moss
Robert Fortier
Carol Byrd
Leslie Dalton
Julie Cobb
AIRED: February 23, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .890
Usenet rating: .608
QUOTES:
=======
- "Spock, what's the chance of human forms evolving outside our galaxy?"
--Kirk "The chances are very much against it." --Spock (even though 98%
of the life forms they meet *inside* the galaxy seem to be in human
form)
- "Oh, you're trying to seduce me." --Bimbo
- "What is it?" --Andromeda Dude "Uh...It's green." --Scotty
- "Would you please apologize to me again?" --Bimbo
BY ANY OTHER NAME
PLOT:
=====
An alien race known as the Kelvans come from the Andromeda galaxy over many
generations and wreck their ship. Pretty stupid, huh? Their galaxy is
becoming unlivable, so they wish to take the Milky Way for themselves by
force. They steal the Enterprise and turn the crew into cubes. They take
human form to save on the budget of the show, but now are getting human
emotions and senses.
FACTS:
======
- Kirk falls in love with this Kelinda bimbo.
- The Enterprise leaves the galaxy.
- Spock sort of does the mind meld through solid rock.
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty entertaining, as long as you don't try to over-analyze it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
24 THE CAGE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Robert Butler
GUESTS: Jeffrey Hunter (Captain Christopher Pike)
Majel Leigh Hudec (Number One)
Susan Oliver (Vina)
AIRED: October, 1988 (during "Star Trek: From One Generation to the Next")
(though written and filmed in 1965)
HACK-MAN rating: .325
Usenet rating: .325
QUOTES:
=======
- "We're passing through an old-style distress signal." --Extra
- "Oh, I should have smelled trouble when I saw the swords and the armor.
Instead of that I let myself get trapped in that deserted fortress and
attacked by one of their warriors." --Chris Pike
- "Engage." --Pike
- "Time warp... factor seven." --Pike
- "Have I permission to send out scouting and scientific parties now?"
--Number One "Affirmative on the..." --Pike "You appear to be healthy
and intelligent, Captain; a prime speciman." --Vina "I didn't get that
last message, Captain." --Number One
- "She was born almost as we crashed." --Scientist
- "I have to wear soiething, don't I?" --Vina
- Switch to rockets--we're blasting out." --Spock (after engines wouldn't
pull them out of orbit)
- "Their brains are three times the size of ours." (and are therefore much
more intelligent) --Spock
- "The Women!" --Spock
- "I'm willing to bet you created an illusion this laser is empty. I think
it just blasted a hole in that window and you're keeping us from seeing
it. You want me toi test my theory out on your head?" --Pike
- "She has illusion and you have reality. May you find your way as
pleasant." --Keeper
- "All ship's doctors are dirty old men." --Pike
THE CAGE
PLOT:
=====
Captain Christopher Pike, his first officer Number One, and science officer
Spock, are shown on board the Starship Enterprise on a mission to Vega
where they were going to heal some Earth-folks. They respond to a distress
call on Talos IV, where they find the remaining crew of an earlier Earth
exploration (on the USS Columbia) which crashed on the planet. The
colonists are all aging (male) scientists except for Vina, who is a cute,
blonde who was born around the time they crashed (about 18 years back).
The Enterprise crew soon realize that the whole colony is a fake as the
Talosians take Pike and Vina down an elevator to their zoo, where they have
various races that they are studying. Pike refuses to live out any
fantasies that the Talosian Buttheads want him to (especially mating
fantasies), so the Buttheads bring down Number One and another woman from
the Enterprise (which prompts Spock to exclaim "The Women!!!") Pike
doesn't want to mate with them either, so the Buttheads are wondering if
they'll *ever* find a race to succeed them (the Buttheads are dying out
because they're so smart that they are bored silly). Pike finally gets out
of his cage, sees that Vina is horribly disfigured and wants to stay on the
planet, and allows her to stay (along with her fake beauty and a hologram
of Pike).
FACTS:
======
- Pilot Episode.
- Spock limps through the entire episode. They might have explained this
as a casualty from their last mission.
- Gravity of Talos IV is 0.9 of Earth
- They just came from Rigel Seven.
- Pike is responsible for 203 crewmembers (which may or may not imply that
there are only 203 people on board).
- Doc Phil has insignia with a globe of the western hemisphere; Pike has
normal Enterprise logo (like Kirk/Spock have).
- The Talosians search the Big E's computer banks and see pictures of
Washington, Lincoln, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, flowers, animals,
body parts, solar system, ships, etc.
- Spock smiles upon seeing flowers that sing when near living flesh.
- 2 to 9 dead.
- The Enterprise is the only earthship to go to Talos IV.
- "The Menagerie" takes place 31 years after the USS Columbia crashed,
which is 13 years after the crew visits the planet in "The Cage".
OPINIONS:
=========
Good premise. Decent execution considering the time period it was made in.
I'm glad they got rid of Pike and the old fart doctor. Kinda humorous to
hear Spock shouting. You almost have to wonder what the series would have
been like with Pike at the helm.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
26 THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jerry Sohl
DIRECTOR: Joseph Sargent
GUESTS: Anthony Hall
Clint Howard
AIRED: November 10, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .440
Usenet rating: .522
QUOTES:
=======
- "What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?" --McCoy
- "If I jumped every time a light came on I'd end up talking to myself."
--McCoy (to self)
- "I'd like to get my hands on the person who assigned a female yeoman to
me." --Kirk (after being nagged)
- "Radiation level has entered the lethal zone" --Spock (although no one
seems to have died from it.)
- "What is it's mass?" --Kirk "It goes off the scale" --Spock
- "It's over a mile in diameter." --Sulu
- "You have an annoying fascination for timepieces, Mr. Sulu. --Scotty
THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER
PLOT:
=====
To stave off an attack by an alien vessel, Kirk concocts the now-famous
"Corbomite" bluff. Charting uncharted space, the Enterprise comes upon a
warning buoy in the form of a rotating cube. They decide not to heed its
warning and continue onward. A short guy in huge ship with smaller
separatable ship offers tranja and "demonstrates superiority" by turning
off visual on the Enterprise. Spock learns poker and the art of bluffing.
Bailey is a weapon-happy dork who wants to shoot the buoy and anything else
that moves.
FACTS:
======
- During the power outage, a yeoman uses a hand-phaser to heat up some
coffee.
- Engine temperature reaches 8600 degrees (6400 is the maximum safe
temperature.)
- This episode has Spock, Sulu, Scotty, Bones, Uhura.
- Slightly higher oxygen content.
- Spock says his mother is from Earth.
- Kirk threatens to self-destruct, destroying everything in the vicinity.
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot dragged out a bit, but was sound.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
28 CATSPAW
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Robert Bloch and Dorothy Fontana
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Antoinette Bower (Sylvia?)
Theo Marcuse (Korob?)
Michael Barrier (DeSalle?)
Jimmy Jones
AIRED: October 27, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .440
Usenet rating: .381
QUOTES:
=======
- "Analysis, Mr. Spock?" --Kirk "Very bad peotry, Captain." --Spock
- "You'd be a natural." (for Halloween) --Kirk (to Spock)
- "[I'll] bet credits to navy beans we can [punch a hole] in it." --DeSalle
CATSPAW
PLOT:
=====
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Sulu are thrown in a dungeon by Korob and
Sylvia (black cat) to trick Kirk into giving them further scientific
information. They probed their minds and reached the subconscious instead
of the conscious, so are unaware that the Halloween charade they are
putting on is not the norm for humans. They hang a toy Enterprise over a
flame and the Enterprise becomes hot; also put a force field around it.
Three witches.
FACTS:
======
- This is the first episode filmed with Ensign Chekov, though "Amok Time"
was aired earlier.
- M-rays (or was this in Who Mourns for Adonais?)
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
30 THE CHANGELING
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Blaisdell Makee
Vic Perrin (voice of Nomad)
Arnold Lessing
AIRED: September 29, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .560
Usenet rating: .442
QUOTES:
=======
- "You are the creator; you are the Kirk." --Nomad
- "Intelligence does not require bulk, Mr. Scott" --Spock (referencing his
weight?)
- "Congratulations, a dazzling display of logic." --Spock "Didn't think I
had it in me, did you?" --Kirk "No." --Spock
- "Your logic [is|was] impeccable, Captain. We are in grave danger."
--Spock
- "My son, the doctor." --Kirk (referring to Nomad)
THE CHANGELING
PLOT:
=====
An ancient Earth probe Nomad collided with an alien biology probe (The
Other) and both were damaged. It rebuilt itself as one probe, incredibly
powerful, and thinks its mission is to sterilize all imperfect life forms.
Kirk talks it into blowing itself up.
FACTS:
======
- Jackson Roykirk created Nomad.
- Nomad confused the similarity (phonetically, at least) between "Jackson
Roykirk" and "Captain James Kirk".
- Uhura's entire memory is wiped, but she is re-educated in a month or
two.
- One Yeoman is killed (Nomad damaged him too much to fix).
- The Other was known as Tan Ru.
- Scotty dies.
- Spock Mind Melds with Nomad
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
32 CHARLIE X
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
STORY: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Lawrence Dobkin
GUESTS: Robert Walker, Jr. (Charlie X?)
Abraham Sofaer
Patricia McNulty
Charles J. Stewart
Dallas Mitchell
AIRED: September 15, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .015
Usenet rating: .241
QUOTES:
=======
- "Your illogical approach has its advantages." --Spock (apparently
winning is illogical)
CHARLIE X
PLOT:
=====
A teenager, raised by aliens and possessing some of their unusual powers,
proves incapable of adjusting to human society and emotions. Charlie kills
three, and erases another woman's face (but brings at least one of the
people back. He killed 20 on the SS Antares. Charlie has the hots for
Yeoman Rand, and slaps her on the posterior (after seeing someone else do
similarly).
FACTS:
======
- Kirk wins at 3-D chess after Spock announces mate in one.
- 428 crew on Enterprise.
OPINIONS:
=========
Sucked rocks.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
34 THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Harlan Ellison
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Joan Collins (Edith Keeler)
Bartell LaRue
John Harmon
AIRED: April 6, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .992
Usenet rating: .968
QUOTES:
=======
- "Since before your sun burned I have awaited a question." --Guardian
(the question was not asked of it, and other questions were asked
before, but it didn't answer those.)
- "My friend here is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears.
They're actually easy to explain. --Kirk "Perhaps the unfortunate
accident I had as a child... --Spock "[Yes,] the unfortunate accident
he had as a child... [You see,] he got his head caught in a mechanical
rice [picking machine.] Fortunately, [there was an American] missionary
[living] nearby who was [really] a skilled plastic surgeon..." --Kirk
- "'Let me help'. A hundred years or so from now, I believe, a famous
novelist will write a classic using that theme. He'll recommend those
three words even over 'I love you'." --Kirk
- "I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist." --McCoy (but he HAS a degree in
psychiatry).
- "I am attempting to make a mnemonic memory circuit [using] stone knives
and bearskins." --Spock
- "Let's get the hell out of here." --Kirk
- "He knows, doctor. He knows." --Spock
THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is orbiting a planet with ripples in time. While
investigating, McCoy (suffering from an overdose of cordrazine) vanishes
through a time portal (The Guardian of Forever, a giant talking
donut-shaped rock) and somehow changes the past. One side effect is that
the Enterprise and Star Fleet no longer exist, but for some reason the crew
that are on planet still do. Kirk and Spock follow him to Earth's 1930s in
an effort to rectify whatever it is that McCoy has done.
FACTS:
======
- Tricorder says the Guardian is ten million years old.
- A 2030 A.D. novelist from a star in the left side of Orion's Belt
advises "Let me help" over "I love you" as the three most important
words.
- Ellison wrote the original version of "City on the Edge of Forever". It
had McCoy drugged *NON*-accidentally among other things. It was a bit
of a different story than what the aired version turned into. It needed
major re-writing because most of the characters were out of character
(as they had been defined in earlier episodes), the script had to be
re-written, Ellison didn't like that, and the rest is history. If you
get a chance, read both versions of the script.
- Kirk falls for Edith Keeler.
- First time "hell" was used on television as a ___.
- Seven people beam up at the end (on to a transporter pad that hold six).
OPINIONS:
=========
One of the best-written stories in science fiction. Period.
Probably the best acting I've seen out of DeForrest Kelley. Excellent
portrayal of someone accidentally shot up.
I'm not sure who was filling in for William Shatner this week, but the part
of Kirk was played to perfection. The viewer can actually GET *IN* to the
part, FEEL what Kirk felt for Edith, and HURT inside when he had to watch
her die. One of the few episodes that can send chills up your spine.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
36 THE CLOUD MINDERS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Margaret Armen
STORY: David Gerrold and Oliver Crawford
DIRECTOR: Jud Taylor
GUESTS: Jeff Corey
Diana Ewing (Droxine?)
Charlene Polite (Vanna?)
Fred Williamson
Ed Long
AIRED: February 28, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .350
Usenet rating: .432
QUOTES:
=======
- "May I point out that a first officer is more expendable than either a
captain or a [first officer[?]]" -- Spock
THE CLOUD MINDERS
PLOT:
=====
Kirk's attempt to pick up a shipment of a vital mineral embroils him in the
demands of the oppressed miners (Troglytes) against the cultured rulers on
cloud city. The planet Ardana is the only place where senite exists. The
dust in the mines causes mental retardation in the Trogs, who want Kirk to
help them. Kirk doesn't want to get involved, but needs the senite..
FACTS:
======
- Yes, it is "Cloud Minders", not "Cloud Miners". I checked the video-
disc.
- Kirk defies Star Fleet Command. - Spock falls in love with Droxine.
- Kirk falls for Vanna.
OPINIONS:
=========
An interesting (and fairly original) plot. Would have been interesting to
see them expand on it a bit. The storyline is very socially conscious with
respect to 1960s USA.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
38 THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Barry Trivers
DIRECTOR: Gerd Oswald
GUESTS: Arnold Moss (Kodos?)
Barbara Anderson (Lenore)
Bruce Hyde
Eddie Paskey
AIRED: December 8, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .510
Usenet rating: .377
QUOTES:
=======
- "My father's race was spared the dubious benefits of alcohol." --Spock
"Oh. Now I know why they were conquered." --McCoy (In some other
episode it is mentioned that Vulcan has not been conquered in known
history)
THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING
PLOT:
=====
Kirk suspects the star of a Shakespearean acting troupe may be the infamous
"Kodos the Executioner", presumed dead for twenty years.
Twenty years ago a supply ship was delayed and all people on the planet
were doomed to die of starvation. Kodos divided population into two
groups, the ones that would live and the ones that would die. This plan
would at least save half of the population. For some reason Kodos is
condemned for trying to save half the people instead of letting *everyone*
die ("the death of the many outweighs the death of the few"?).
FACTS:
======
- This is the episode that features the only Federation doorknob (other
than Kirk). It's right after the opening credits; not sure why it was
important. Someone else thought there was a doorknob in The Menagerie.
- This is the only episode to show the Big E Observation Deck.
- Also the only episode to feature a "double red alert" (when the phaser
was on overload).
- Sort of defy Star Fleet Command.
- Lenore Karidian woos Kirk in order to kill him.
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot was okay and didn't drag too much, but the reason Kodos was disliked
was a bit bogus.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
40 COURT-MARTIAL
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Don M. Mankiewica and Stephen W. Carabatsos
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Percy Rodriguez (Commodore Stone)
Elisha Cook, Jr. (Sam Cogley, defense attorney)
Joan Marshall (Areel Shaw, prosecuting attorney)
Richard Webb
Alice Rawlings
Hagan Beggs
Winston DeLugo
AIRED: February 2, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .325
Usenet rating: .532
QUOTES:
=======
- "You may be able to beat your next captain at chess." --Kirk.
COURT-MARTIAL
PLOT:
=====
Kirk is placed on trial when the ship's records show that he committed an
error that cost a crewmember's life. The "dead" crewman changed the ship's
computer tapes so it shows Kirk jettisoning the pod during YELLOW alert
instead of red alert.
Spock wins at 3-D chess against the computer five games in a row,
convincing him that the ship's computer has been tampered with (the best he
should have been able to achieve was a draw since he programmed the game in
himself.) McCoy masks out the heartbeat of all remaining crewmembers after
most have beamed down to see if anyone is hiding. For some reason they can
tell how many life forms are on a planet they are orbiting, but not on
their own ship! McCoy masks Spock's heartbeat out as if it were in the
human position rather than the Vulcan position. They then listen to the
noises with the heartbeats masked out and hear another single heartbeat
(and for some reason don't hear their voices amplified about a billion
times).
FACTS:
======
- The crewman "died" at stardate 2945.7.
- Kirk was an ensign on the USS Republic NCC-1371.
- Kirk's serial number is SC-937-0176-CEC (Captain, Starship Commander).
- Spock's serial number is S-179-276-SP (Lt. Commander, First Officer,
Science Officer).
- McCoy is Lt. Commander, Ship's Surgeon.
- Kirk mentions amplifying "one to the fourth power"
- Areel Shaw, the prosecuting attorney, is yet another of Kirk's old
flames.
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty minor offense for losing one's captaincy over. Seems like they'd be
firing captains every day if this were the policy.
They make a big deal of "books" and "rights of the accused".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
42 DAGGER OF THE MIND
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Shimon "S. Bar-David" Wincelberg
DIRECTOR: Vincent McEveety
GUESTS: James Gregory (Van Gelder?)
Morgan Woodward
Marianna Hill
Suzanne Wasson
AIRED: November 3, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .780
Usenet rating: .645
QUOTES:
=======
DAGGER OF THE MIND
PLOT:
=====
A deranged escapee from a penal planet causes Kirk to investigate the
psychiatric treatments being administered there. The rehabilitation planet
has a mind controller/neural neutralizer.
FACTS:
======
- First use of the Vulcan mind meld on a human (Spock uses it on Dr. Van
Gelder).
- 1 Stardate > 10 hours.
OPINIONS:
=========
Good acting on the part of VanGelder (Spock isn't too bad either).
Kirk falls or dark-haired bimbo psych[olog|iatr]ist Dr. Helen Noel. He
apparently had his way with her at the Science Lab Christmas party.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
44 DAY OF THE DOVE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jerome Bixby
DIRECTOR: Marvin Chomsky
GUESTS: Michael Ansara (Kang?)
Susan Howard (Mrs. Mara Kang?)
AIRED: November 1, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .895
Usenet rating: .676
QUOTES:
=======
DAY OF THE DOVE
PLOT:
=====
Klingons and the Enterprise crew must unite to overcome an alien pinwheel
that feeds on hatred. The alien has the Klingons and the Enterprise crew
kill each other, then brings them back to life to cause more hostility.
FACTS:
======
- Klingon == Kang?
- Klingons have no devil (they apparently get one (named Feklar) in the
next hundred years, according to TNG's "Devil's Due")
- Chekov tries to rape Mara.
- While under the influence of the pinwheel, Chekov thinks he has a
brother named Piotr.
OPINIONS:
=========
Some good humor, and good dialog at the end between the two "superpowers",
and the Klingon slapping Kirk's back.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
46 THE DEADLY YEARS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: David P. Harmon
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Charles Drake
Sarah Marshall
Beverly Washburn
Felix Locker
Carolyn Nelson
Laura Wood
AIRED: December 8, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .650
Usenet rating: .683
QUOTES:
=======
- "Well don't just sit there jawing--you and Dr. ___ get cracking."
--McCoy
- "I'm not a magician, I'm just an old country doctor." --McCoy
- "If I live long enough, I'm going to run out of samples." --Chekov
THE DEADLY YEARS
PLOT:
=====
Kirk is relieved of command when he and other officers contract a disease
from a passing comet that induces senility and death by old age within
days. The planet Gamma Hydra 4 passed through the tail of a comet. Chekov
doesn't age like the rest; they try to explain this because he was scared
and got his adrenaline flowing.
Some diplomat (Commodore Stocker) who's never had a field command (much
less ever come close to commanding a starship) takes command of the
Enterprise rather than allowing an experienced junior officer (Chekov) to
have command, and decides to take a shortcut through the Romulan Neutral
Zone like a dork. Kirk bluffs about corbomite to Star Fleet Command in a
code he knows the Romulans have cracked, saying that it will make this area
of space uninhabitable for two solar years. The Romulans back off and Kirk
gets out of there.
FACTS:
======
- Starbase 11 has better medical facilities than the Enterprise.
- McCoy refers to Spock's age as "the high side of 100".
- Kirk had a fling with Dr. Janice Wallace.
- Kirk was 34 years old, but the computer says he is now biologically
between 60 and 72.
- They use a needle on Chekov (I thought needles had been replaced by
hypos).
- Stardate 3478.2-3579.4 ???
OPINIONS:
=========
Can be hard to follow the plot on the first viewing, but not all that bad
an episode once it sinks in.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
48 THE DEVIL IN THE DARK
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. Coon
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Ken Lynch (Vandenburg?)
Janos Prohaska (Horta)
Barry Russo
Brad Weston
Biff Elliott
AIRED: March 9, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .312
Usenet rating: .715
QUOTES:
=======
- "Phaser One is far less powerful than Phaser Two" --Spock
- "Silicon based life is physiologically impossible" --McCoy
- "I'm a doctor, not a brick layer" --McCoy
- "Shoot to kill" --Kirk.
- "I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day." --McCoy ?
THE DEVIL IN THE DARK
PLOT:
=====
A mining operation on Janus VI (a planet with the richest abundance of
minerals anywhere) is plagued by a series of mysterious and grisly deaths.
Add to that the mysterious disappearance of their life-support pump
(there's no oxygen down there).
The Enterprise is called upon to investigate and/or evacuate the remaining
miners. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy find a bunch of silicon globes (the miners
have been keeping them as souvenirs and/or destroying them) and a series of
tunnels that have been carved recently.
Upon further investigation, they find that the deaths were caused by a
silicon-based horta that moves through rock as easily as humans move
through air. It is the last of its species and the globes that were found
were her eggs. It was killing the miners with her acid in self-defense to
keep her species alive (and stole the life-support system to try to make
the miners go away). It is described as a "hairy beast", but is later
found to be a highly intelligent breathing rock.
Kirk and Spock discuss the possibility of silicon-based beings (or beings
not carbon-based) apparently forgetting that Nancy the salt-sucker was
silicon-based. McCoy later comes down and says that silicon-based life is
impossible.
Kirk wants to kill it, despite the fact that it is the last of its species,
and refuses to weigh his options. Their phasers don't do too much to slow
it down. Kirk orders the remaining miners up to the ship (most have
already beamed up), but they (lead by this week's dork, Vandenburg) want to
fight it with clubs (maybe clubs are more powerful than phasers, eh?) Kirk
(in an attempt to win back the "dork of the week" prize) says "good"
(non-sarcastically).
Spock mind melds with it in an attempt to communicate, and senses how much
pain she's in. She finds humans rather ugly, but likes Spock's ears. It
then writes "no kill i" by burning away rock with its acid. Kirk is unsure
if she means that she doesn't want to kill or that she doesn't want to be
killed. They beam McCoy down to help repair the damaged horta.
Eventually, they strike up a bargain. The miners don't destroy any more
eggs and don't harm the horta. The horta will make their tunnels in the
direction the miners want.
FACTS:
======
- Kirk is this week's dork: not trying to preserve life, etc.
- This is the last episode to be watched by me. It took until 6/7/88 for
me to see it.
- Every 50,000 years the race of horta all die save the one mother horta.
- Spock mind melds with the horta.
OPINIONS:
=========
Bogometer was in the "high" range through most of the show.
The opening looked like a bad 1920 movie. This is why I probably never saw
the episode until 1988; I didn't realize I was watching "Star Trek".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
50 THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Norman Spinrad
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: William Windom (Matt Decker)
Elizabeth Rogers
John Copage
Richard Compton
John Winston
Tim Burns
AIRED: October 20, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .325
Usenet rating: .778
QUOTES:
=======
- "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic." --McCoy
- "They can't take much more of this." --Spock (about the deflectors)
- "Gentlemen, I suggest you beam me aboard." --Kirk
- "[Scotty, you've earned your pay for the week]." --Kirk (and/or in
"Balance of Terror")
THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE
PLOT:
=====
The Starship Enterprise and the damaged Starship Constellation (sans its
400 crew) battle an enormous horn/carrot-shaped machine that destroys
planets and ships for fuel. It came from outside the galaxy, and is headed
for the Rigel system, the most densely populated part of the galaxy. Its
hull is solid neutronium. Commodore Matt Decker, who somehow got to be a
starfleet officer (and good friend of Kirk, naturally), steals the
Enterprise (after destroying his own ship - the Constellation NCC-1017 -
and his 400 crew), and eventually kamikazes himself into the horn with an
Enterprise shuttlecraft. The seven planets in system L370 are destroyed,
and all but two planets on system L374 (Decker beamed his crew to the third
planet).
FACTS:
======
- Decker has a different insignia on his shirt--like a script capital "I".
- No Uhura.
- Decker is this week's dork.
- USS Constellation's log is Stardate 4202.1.
- Nominated for "Outstanding Achievements in Film Editing" Emmy in 67-68
(Donald R. Rode).
- Will Decker (from "St Trek: The Motion Picture") is most likely Matt
Decker's son.
- Transporter malfunction.
- Richard Compton went on to direct an episode of ST:TNG
OPINIONS:
=========
The plot was okay, but Decker was bogus. Is there some unwritten law in
Star Fleet that you can't be a high-ranking official unless you're
borderline insane?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
52 ELAAN OF TROYIUS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas
DIRECTOR: John Meredyth Lucas
GUESTS: France Nuyen (Elaan)
Jay Robinson (Petri)
Tony Young (Kryton)
Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel)
Lee Duncan (Evens)
Victor Brandt (Watson)
Dick Durdock (Guard #1)
Charles Beck (Guard #2)
K.L. Smith (Klingon)
AIRED: December 20, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .205
Usenet rating: .469
QUOTES:
=======
- "If I have to stay here for ten light years..." --_____
- "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?" --McCoy
- "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. It is the only planet
that can make that claim." --Kirk
ELAAN OF TROYIUS
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is transporting Elaan, the Dolman of Elas (a spoiled wench)
to be married (poor groom) to the ruler of a planet her people are at war
with. Things get complicated when Kirk falls in love with the princess.
Women of Elas have magic tears that make you fall in love with them when
touched and the spell never wears off (as if Kirk need a *reason* to fall
in love with a woman). There is no antidote to the spell the tears cast.
McCoy spends the entire episode trying to come up with an antidote, and
finally does just before the end of the episode. It isn't needed, though,
because Kirk is able to resist her on his own due to his first love--that
of the Enterprise. Kinda makes you wanna retch, eh?
Elaan is wearing a dilithium crystal necklace. Dilithium crystals are
abundant on Elas, which has the Klingons interested in the planet.
Klingons sabotage Enterprise's warp drive so it will go kablooie. If the
Enterprise had used warp as the Klingons wanted, *both* ships would have
been destroyed, since it was mentioned that the explosion would nuke
anything for [some stated distance]!!
FACTS:
======
- Kirk wants the princess to eat chicken (or something with very little
meat on a bone) with *silverware*.
- Elaan the Dolman is the spoiled white Elasian.
- Ambassador Petri is a blue Troyian.
- 1 Enterprise crewman dead (engineering).
- Tellun star system.
- Planet Elas.
- Aphrodisiacal tears.
- The Elasian is let on board with personal atomic weapons?!
- The Elasian ship had atomic propulsion.
OPINIONS:
=========
She was a bit too much to take, and detracted from whatever plot there was.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
54 THE EMPATH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Joyce Muskat
DIRECTOR: John Erman
GUESTS: Kathryn Hays (Gem)
Alan Bergman
Willard Sage
Jason Wingreen
Davis Roberts
AIRED: December 6, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .250
Usenet rating: .240
QUOTES:
=======
- "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner." --McCoy
- " !" --Gem
THE EMPATH
PLOT:
=====
A mute woman (Gem) is capable of absorbing the pain and injuries of others.
Lal and Thann, a pair of fathead aliens known as the Vians manipulate Kirk,
Spock, and McCoy, administering pain, to see if they can teach Gem
compassion. In order to do this, the Vians have to put McCoy in so much
pain that he'll die or Spock in so much pain that he will [go insane|become
a vegetable].
FACTS:
======
- McCoy mutinies.
- At the end, Scotty tells the "Tale of the Merchant" (the parable of the
pearl of great price from the Christian gospels.
OPINIONS:
=========
The plot dragged out too long. They might have been able to make it
interesting if they had put some effort into it, but they way it was done
was really poor.
Pretty cheap set.
Great dialogue from Gem.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
56 THE ENEMY WITHIN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Richard Matheson
DIRECTOR: Leo Penn
GUESTS: Jim Goodwin
Edward Madden
Garland Thompson
AIRED: October 6, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .650
Usenet rating: .521
QUOTES:
=======
THE ENEMY WITHIN
PLOT:
=====
A transporter malfunction splits Kirk into two bodies, each possessing half
of his personality. One Kirk is brutal and incapable of control; the other
is gentle and incapable of command.
FACTS:
======
- Yeoman Janice Rand's quarters = 3C 46.
- Stardate 1672.1-1672.9-1673.1-1673.5-1673.1 (confirmed!)
- Unicorn dog.
- Kirk tries to rape Janice.
- Planet is 120 degrees below zero.
- Sulu uses a phaser to heat a rock.
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot was good for an early episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
58 THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
DIRECTOR: John Meredyth Lucas
GUESTS: Joanne Linville (Romulan Commander Chick)
Jack Donner
Richard Compton
Robert Gentile
Gordon Coffey,
Mike Howden
AIRED: September 27, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .700
Usenet rating: .819
QUOTES:
=======
- "Is it true or just myth that Vulcans are incapable of lying?"
--Romulan Commander Chick "It is no myth." --Spock
- "I, too am moved emotionally." --Spock
- "Who are you who could do this to me?" --Romulan Commander Chick "First
officer of the Enterprise. What is your present form of execution?"
--Spock
THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT
PLOT:
=====
Kirk goes insane and orders the Enterprise across the neutral zone into
Romulan space. Spock scans no ships within one parsec, then three Klingon
vessels appear (Romulans are now using Klingon design and have a cloaking
device). Romulans have Kirk and Spock beam on board; Lt Commander Scott takes
over. Spock falls in love with Romulan Commander Chick. Spock instinctively
uses the Vulcan death grip on his captain when Kirk attacks him. Kirk is
brought back to Enterprise, adds ears and eyebrows, and returns to the Romulan
ship to steal the cloaking device.
FACTS:
======
- Spock has served the Federation for 18 years.
- Romulans got Klingon warships in a trade agreement.
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty darn good. Some nice new sets, a decent plot, and some better-than-
usual acting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
60 ERRAND OF MERCY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. Coon
DIRECTOR: John Newland
GUESTS: John Abbott
John Colicos (Klingan Commander Kor)
Peter Brocco
Victor Lundin
David Hillary Hughes
AIRED: March 23, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .745
Usenet rating: .764
QUOTES:
=======
- "The odds? It's difficult to be precise. Approximately 7824._ to 1."
--Spock
- "Fascinating... pure energy... pure thought." --Spock (used in the
Minneapolis band Information Society's song "Pure Energy")
- "I'm a soldier--not a diplomat." --Kirk
- "[Worse than being a war governor, to be a governor] of sheep!" --Kor
- "[There will be no war.]" --??? "[A pity.] It would have been glorious."
--Kor
- "Even the gods did not spring into being overnight." --Spock
- "[Well, the Federation has spent a lot of money on our training; it's
time they got a] return [on their] investment." --Kirk
ERRAND OF MERCY
PLOT:
=====
Kirk and Spock are stranded on the peaceful planet of Organia, which tThe
Klingons have decided to take over. The Organians dress the duo in local
clothes and give them local identities in order to hide and fit in.
Kirk (under the assumption that ALL races want to be federationized)
attempts to interfere with the Klingon takeover, despite the Organians'
insistence of non-violence. Once commander Kor realizes that Kirk and
Spock are from the Federation he has them locked up. The head Organian
sets them free. The Klingons decide to kill two hundred Organians every
two hours until Kirk and Spock are turned over to them. The Organians
don't really seem to care.
Kirk and Spock decide to fight the entire Klingon army in order to show the
Organians what it means to fight for something you believe in. Despite the
7824 to 1 odds, they make it all the way into Kor's office. But even
commanders are under surveillance, so Klingon guards burst into the room.
The Organians, who are not as backward as they previously appeared, tire of
the fighting and heat all weapons an bodies to 300-some degrees (units
unstated). The same conditions exists on the Enterprise as well as the
Klingon fleet which had just arrived.
The reason the Organians didn't care about the Klingons killing them was
the fact that they don't need their humanoid bodies. Organians are pure
energy; pure thought. As they stand before Kirk and Spock and Kor, they
also stand on the Klingon home world and the Federation home planet.
FACTS:
======
- First episode with Klingons.
- Code 1 = war.
- Klingon commander Kor (not Kuul?)
- Kirk asks Spock how much StarFleet has invested in him. Spock gives an
accurate figure.
- All weapons heated to 350 degrees (on some scale; likely Fahrenheit).
OPINIONS:
=========
A "fun episode". I like the fact that the Organians see that they have a
choice of dealing with the Federation or dealing with their enemies instead
of blindly thanking Kirk for interfering!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
62 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Rik Vollaerts
DIRECTOR: Tony Leader
GUESTS: Kate Woodville (Natira)
Byron Morrow
Jon Lormer
AIRED: November 8, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .???
Usenet rating: .563
QUOTES:
=======
FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY
PLOT:
=====
McCoy, suffering from a fatal disease (xenopolycythemia), falls in love
with Natira, the priestess of a planetoid/spaceship on a collision course
with another planet. McCoy has one year to live and agrees to marry
Natira, but ends up leaving her.
FACTS:
======
- People live underground.
- Embedded pain disks in head.
- Oracle.
- Great title! :-)
- McCoy agrees to marry, but sails away.
- The Fabrini are a starfaring race, although they themselves are unaware
of it.
OPINIONS:
=========
They mention at the end that they'll be back in a year. Sounds like a
setup for a sequel. It's been a loooong year. :-)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
64 FRIDAY'S CHILD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Tige Andrews
Michael Dante
Julie Newmar
Cal Bolder
Kirk Raymone
Ben Gage, Robert Bralver
AIRED: March 22, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .430
Usenet rating: .512
QUOTES:
=======
- "I'm a doctor, not an escalator." --Bones
- "Oochy woochie goochy coo, Captain?" --Spock
FRIDAY'S CHILD
PLOT:
=====
Negotiations over mining rights become a battle for survival when McCoy
unintentionally violates a tribal taboo by touching the leader's pregnant
wife. The Enterprise and the Klingons are on Capella 4 trying to get a
contract with a seven foot tall race to mine topaline. Things get
complicated when the tribal leader dies.
FACTS:
======
- The child is named "Leonard James Akaar".
- Boomerang weapon (Kligat).
- USS Carolina.
- SS Dierdre is a freighter (warp 2 is max speed for a freighter).
- In the book version of this episode, the planet is called Ceres.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
66 THE GALILEO SEVEN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Oliver Crawford and Shimon "S.Bar-David" Wincelberg
STORY: Oliver Crawford
DIRECTOR: Robert Gist
GUESTS: Don Marshall
Peter Marko
Rees Vaughan
Grant Woods
Phyllis Douglas
John Crawford
AIRED: January 5, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .500
Usenet rating: .461
QUOTES:
=======
- "I'm *depending* on luck." --Kirk
- "I say we hit them dead on." --Boma "[un?]fortunately, I am in
command" --Spock
- "Spock, remind me to tell you that I'm sick and tired of your logic"
--McCoy "A most illogical attitude" --Spock
- "You reasoned that it was time for an emotional outburst." --Kirk
- "You're not going to admit that, for the first time in your life, you
made a completely emotional decision based on desperation?" --Kirk "No,
sir." --Spock "You are a very stubborn man, Mr. Spock" --Kirk "Yes
sir" --Spock
- "We're getting a mass of readings I've never seen before." --Sulu
THE GALILEO SEVEN
PLOT:
=====
Spock finds himself in charge of a small crew and the shuttlecraft Galileo,
stranded on a hostile planetoid (Taurus 2). McCoy, Scotty, and four extras
(making seven) deal with Spock's logical leadership, trying to guess the
next illogical move of a group of Neanderthals (eleven foot tall furry
creatures similar to Hansen's planet). They are unable to communicate with
the Enterprise because of a quasar-like formation (Murasaki), they
encountered on the way to Marcus 3. The Neanderthals don't behave as Spock
guessed they would because they are too primitive to think logically.
McCoy and the others want to kill the Neanderthals rather than just scare
them off (like Spock wanted). Spock doesn't like the low regard humans
have for life (though he *can* kill when he feels like it (ref A taste of
Armegeddon).
Meanwhile, back on the Enterprise, Kirk is under time pressure by some
diplomat to get him to some conference or something, so Kirk has to give up
searching for the stranded seven.
The shuttle drained most or all of its power just landing safely, so they
are unable to reach escape velocity. Even if they could, the shuttle could
only lift the weight of four bodies, even after getting rid of unneeded
machinery. Spock must decide who lives and who stays on the planet to die
(kinda like Kodus the Executioner from "Conscience of the King").
McCoy and Mr. Boma would rather have random chance decide which four will
pilot the shuttlecraft instead of who is qualified to do so. What's worse,
McCoy would rather that six people die instead of one. Mr. Boma would
rather bury a dead guy instead of fixing the ship and having a chance to
escape alive.
Spock's calmness when in command seems to be what really pisses Bones off.
The castaways finally get the shuttlecraft airborne by draining their hand
phasers into the power supply of the shuttle. Spock then logically decides
to be emotional by jettisoning the last of the shuttlecraft's fuel as a
signal to the Enterprise. For some illogical reason, Spock doesn't want to
keep enough fuel to land again for when the Enterprise returns.
At the end, the entire bridge crew laughs openly in Spock's face.
FACTS:
======
- 1 stardate is 22.86 hours.
- 1 stardate < 36.23 hours.
- Space normal speed is less than warp one.
- Galileo NCC-1701/7 also used in "Metamorphosis" although it is destroyed
in this episode.
- Shuttlecraft Columbus is sent out to find the Galileo shuttlecraft.
- Sort of defy Star Fleet Command.
- High [Commander|Commissioner] Ferris is this week's main dork.
- McCoy and Mr. Boma split the award for best supporting dork.
- Spock has personality problems when in command (see also "The Tholean
Web".
OPINIONS:
=========
General question that I thought of while viewing this episode: The
Federation doesn't care about killing flies. Spock doesn't want to kill
the Neanderthal creatures in this episodes, but apparently it would be okay
to since several members of the landing party want to. How much
intelligence does a being have to have before they can't kill it according
to Star Fleet Command? A fine line must exist, and how do they measure
this?
If you ignore the three dorks, it's a pretty good episode of "Gilligan's
Island" in space.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
68 THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Margaret Armen
DIRECTOR: Gene Nelson
GUESTS: John Ruskin (Galt)
Angelique Pettyjohn (Shahna - Kirk's Drill Thrall)
Steve Sandor
Jane Ross
Victoria George
Mickey Morton
AIRED: January 5, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .420
Usenet rating: .394
QUOTES:
=======
- "Can people [survive] that long as disassembled atoms?" --McCoy "I
don't [believe I've heard of such] a study being done; it would be a
fascinating [study, however]." --Spock
- "I am pursuing the Captain, Lt. Uhura, and Ensign Chekov, not wild
aquatic fowl." --Spock
- "Thank you...'Miss'?" --Chekov
- "You are a fine specimen. I like you better than the others." --M____
(Chekov's Drill Thrall)
THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION
PLOT:
=====
Kirk, Uhura, and Chekov are captured for use in gambling conflicts. The
Providers (3 brains without bodies) bid for people in auction. G[o|a]lt is
auctioneer. They bid in quatloos. They keep the three in cells, feed
them, and have drill thralls to keep them company. Kirk gets a decent
drill thrall in Shahna, but Chekov's (Tamoon) is less than appealing.
FACTS:
======
- At SD 3259.2 Kirk et.al. had been missing for 2 hrs.
- Angelique Pettyjohn has been in a few X-rated movies and sells posters
of herself in revealing drill thrall gear at Star Trek conventions.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
70 I, MUDD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Stephen Kandel and David Gerrold
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd)
Richard Tatro (Norman?)
Mike Howden
Michael Zaslow
Kay Elliott
Rhae Andrece
Alice Andrece
Tom LeGarde
Ted LeGarde
Maureen Thornton
Colleen Thornton
Tamara Wilson
Starr Wilson
AIRED: November 3, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .778
Usenet rating: .668
QUOTES:
=======
- "Spock, you're going to love it here - they all talk just like you."
--Mudd
- "Knowledge should be free to all." --Mudd
- "I think of her constantly, and every time I do I go further out in
space." --Mudd (about his wife Stella)
- "Why should I leave?" --Android chick "Because we don't like you,
shush, shush, shush." --Kirk
- "A whole plethora of series." --Spock
- "I fail to see why I should induce my mother to purchase falsified
patents." --Spock
- "It's worked so far, but we're not out yet." --McCoy
- "Logic is a [little] tweeting bird [chirping in a meadow]; logic is a
wreath of [pretty] flowers that smell bad. Are you sure your circuits
are registering correctly? Your ears are [turning] green." --Spock
(lying, although he can't lie.)
I, MUDD
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is forced to a planet populated by 207,809 androids and
ruled by their old nemesis, Harcourt Fenton Mudd (III?). Norman (the main
android) had been a member of the Enterprise crew for three days, then
diverted the ship to Mudd's uncharted planet (4 solar days at warp 7,
arrived at SD 4513.3). They didn't realize he was an android, though McCoy
or someone thought he was a bit too stiff.
Andromeda residents built the androids, but then their sun novaed, and the
few remaining beings died off eventually. Mudd's stolen ship had to land
on this planet, where the androids want to serve him and learn about him.
He had them create an android replica of his wife Stella. Mudd and Norman
have Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and Uhura beam down, and eventually beams
the entire crew down (after beaming up androids to take over their
positions). A human brain can be put in android body and live 500,000
years (the immortality and eternal beauty intrigue Uhura initially).
FACTS:
======
- Kirk and company talk more androids to death with illogic.
- Mudd rules a class K (can support life with pressure domes and life
support system) planet.
- There's no reason Norman should have believed Kirk when he said that
everything Mudd utters is a lie.
- If all the crew are on the planet and all androids are disabled, how do
they get back to the ship? They mentioned in "This Side of Paradise"
that they cannot get back up to the Enterprise unless one person remains
behind. No automatic - that sounds like a great idea for a starship!!
- Spock lies, though he is incapable of lying.
OPINIONS:
=========
This was a pretty good episode. The casting, dialog, and acting for the
characters of Stella and Harcourt were excellent!
*Real* computers have circuit breakers. :-)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
72 THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Robert Sabaroff
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: None
AIRED: January 19, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .
Usenet rating: .598
QUOTES:
=======
- "Tell Doctor McCoy he should have wished me luck." --Spock
- "Shut up, Spock, we're rescuing you." --McCoy "Why, thank you, Captain
McCoy." --Spock
- "I've never encountered readings like this before." --Spock
- "I've never experienced anything like it." --Scotty
THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME
PLOT:
=====
A giant single-celled creature, which feeds on the energy necessary to our
form of life, invades our galaxy. I assume it's from another galaxy.
Spock ventures into the amoeba (zone of darkness) in a shuttlecraft, and is
almost stranded.
FACTS:
======
- USS Intrepid.
- 400 Vulcans dead on Starbase 6.
- 1 stardate is less than 2.5 hours.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
74 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jean Lisette Aroeste
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: Diana Muldaur (Dr. Miranda Jones)
David Frankham (Larry Marvick)
AIRED: October 18, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .210
Usenet rating: .411
QUOTES:
=======
IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY?
PLOT:
=====
Miranda Jones, a telepath, is jealous of Spock's greater abilities in
forming a mind-link with Kollos, an alien so ugly that the very sight of
him can drive a man insane.
Kollos is in a small box (great way to save on the F/X budget). Spock
forgets to wear his visor (with some help of Miranda), causing him to go
crazy and take the Enterprise out of the galaxy.
Spock deduces that Miranda is blind, and McCoy realizes that her dress is
giving her information on her surroundings (she can judge distances much
more accurately than unaided humans).
FACTS:
======
- Kollos is a Medusan.
- First use of prosthetic visual device (Miranda's dress sensor array).
- Spock wears the IDIC out of respect for Dr. Jones. IDIC = Infinite
Diversity in Infinite Combinations.
- Kirk doesn't wear his protective visor at the end of the episode, but
since he's superhuman anyway, apparently he isn't effected.
- Spock mind melds with the Medusan.
OPINIONS:
=========
Why didn't McCoy know about this dress thing? Was it Federation science or
alien?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
76 JOURNEY TO BABEL
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Jane Wyatt (Amanda)
Mark Lenard (Sarek)
William O'Connell
Reggie Nalder
John Wheeler
James X. Mitchell
AIRED: November 17, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .700
Usenet rating: .766
QUOTES:
=======
- "Offense is a human emotion" --Sarek.
- "Threats are illogical and payments are usually expensive" --Sarek.
- "Worry is a human emotion" --Spock.
- "Indeed... I would estimate the odds..." --Spock "Please don't."
--Amanda
- "Shut up!" -McCoy to Spock
- "What do you know... I finally got the last word in." --McCoy
- "Tellarites to not argue for reason; they simply argue." -- Sarek
JOURNEY TO BABEL
PLOT:
=====
Crisis piles atop crisis when the Enterprise is in charge of transporting a
volatile cargo of Federation diplomats (114 delegates, many of them
admirals), including Spock's parents (Sarek and Amanda). Sarek is having
problems with his heart, though he hasn't told his wife about it.
First, Spock uses illogic to say that the death of the two outweighs the
death of the one. Amanda argues (logically) that "why should you both
die?" Kirk gets injured and cannot command the ship (confined to sick bay
or he'll bleed a lot). Now (reversing her logicity) Amanda says Spock
should do the transfusion.
The intruder is signaling to a small kamikaze scout ship which is going at
warp 10. Andorians are blue aliens with antennae. Tellarites are
snout-nosed aliens, hot to pick a fight with Sarek over his vote in the
upcoming vote of whether or not to let some dilithium-rich planet into the
federation.
Sarek shows almost human pride according to Amanda. Kirk (not wanting to
let Spock "commit patricide" although he "can't condemn him for his
loyalty") pretends to be okay so he can take command back, then give
command immediately to Scotty. But before he can call Scotty, the
Enterprise is under attack so he tells Scotty to forget it (even though the
battle seems to go on for a long time (plenty of time for Scotty to come up
and take over and let Kirk get back to sick bay)).
Spock figures out the answer, so naturally (instead of letting him save ALL
the lives on board) Nurse Chapel sedates him so there's a CHANCE of saving
his father (who might die along with everyone else now that Spock can't
tell Kirk what he knows).
The bad guys turn out to be Orions.
FACTS:
======
- Spock and Sarek haven't spoken in eighteen years.
- Spock hasn't been to Vulcan in 4 years.
- Sarek was brought out of retirement for this.
- Sarek's vote carries much weight--others will vote as he does.
- Sarek is 102.437 Earth years old (young for a Vulcan).
- Sarek's blood type is T negative (rare even for a Vulcan). Spock's blood
is the same type, but has human elements mixed in with it (but they can
be filtered out).
- After slapping Spock, Amanda walks to a door, it opens, she walks
through, and it closes. Spock starts to follow, walks up to the door,
and it doesn't open.
- Amanda mentions that Spock had a pet salek (selat?) (a live, fat teddy
bear with six inch fangs) when he was a child, and McCoy teases him
about it.
- Sarek thinks that Amanda embarrassed Spock, but my guess is that
embarrassment is a human emotion.
- Tal-shiah is the Vulcan art of neck-breaking.
- Rigelian physiology is similar to Vulcan.
- Sarek married Amanda because "at the time it seemed the logical thing to
do."
- Shatner pronounces it "bAY-bel".
- A red shirt discovers a dead diplomat and hits a communications panel;
the artificially intelligent comm panel KNOWS that he wants to talk to
the bridge and connects him there without even saying anything.
- When Kirk calls Spock's mother "Mrs. Sarek" she says to call her
"Amanda" because the family name is too hard to pronounce (although she
has been able to after quite some time). Is Kirk's remark something like
calling his wife "Mrs. Jim"? McCoy continues to call her "Mrs. Sarek"
throughout the show (apparently he prefers being incorrect to being
familiar).
- McCoy gets the last word in.
- At the end of the show, Uhura is the highest ranking officer left, but
since the writers (or whomever) couldn't stomach the idea of putting her
in charge, Chekov takes the con.
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty good episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
78 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Oliver Crawford
STORY: Gene L. "Lee Cronin" Coon
DIRECTOR: Jud Taylor
GUESTS: Frank Gorshin (Bele)
Lou Antonio (Lokai)
AIRED: January 10, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .110
Usenet rating: .220
QUOTES:
=======
LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD
PLOT:
=====
Two two-toned beings, each the last member of their respective race on the
planet Sharon, try to get Kirk to take sides in their disputes. They steal
the Enterprise and end up beaming down to their old planet to finish the
fight. For 50000 Earth years Bele (the Black/White) has chased Lokai (the
White/Black slave). Kirk tries to self-destruct the Enterprise.
FACTS:
======
- Bele (the one who was black on our left (his right)) was played by one
of the actors who portrayed the Riddler on the Batman TV series.
- For the self-destruct: Kirk: sequence 1 code 1-1A Spock: sequence 2
code 1-1A-2B Scotty: sequence 3 code 1B-2B-3.
- After someone leaves in a turbolife, another is immediately available.
OPINIONS:
=========
Dragged longer than it should have, not unlike the original "Twilight Zone"
television series. I could have done without the stupid camera tricks as
well (the eyes and zooming in and out on flashing lights).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
80 THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jeremy Tarcher and Shari Lewis
DIRECTOR: Herb Kenwith
GUESTS: Jan Shutan (Mira Romaine?)
John Winston
Libby Erwin
Bud da Vinci
AIRED: January 31, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .300
Usenet rating: .389
QUOTES:
=======
THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR
PLOT:
=====
An electrical cloud formed by the life-essences of the long-dead Zetarians
seeks to possess the body of Scotty's new-found sweetheart, Mira Romaine.
Her brain pattern matches that of the cloud. She is put into a pressure
chamber to rid her of the cloud. The cloud had just destroyed the
inhabitants of Memory Alpha
FACTS:
======
- Mira has lights in her eyes when possessed.
- It is an unnatural phenomenon because no natural phenomenon can move
faster than the speed of light.
- Defy Star Fleet Command.
OPINIONS:
=========
Scotty probably should have been put on report for his oversights during
this episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
82 THE MAN TRAP
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: George Clayton Johnson
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Jeanne Bal (Nancy Crater?)
Francine Pyne
Alfred Ryder
Michael Zaslow
Bruce Watson
Vince Howard
AIRED: September 8, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .360
Usenet rating: .294
QUOTES:
=======
THE MAN TRAP
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is ravaged by a creature that sucks the salt from its
victims' bodies. It is capable of assuming any identity, including McCoy's
old flame Nancy Crater, a crewman Uhura has the hots for, McCoy, etc.
FACTS:
======
- Since several people were looking at the being at the beginning and
seeing different people, I would assume that is a mind controller, not a
shape-changer.
- The salt-sucker suit shows up later as part of General Trelane's
collection in "The Squire of Gothos".
OPINIONS:
=========
Not the tightest plot, but fairly decent for first-season.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
84 THE MARK OF GIDEON
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: George F. Slavin and Stanley Adams
DIRECTOR: Jud Taylor
GUESTS: Sharon Acker (Odona)
David Hurst
Gene Dynarski
Richard Derr
AIRED: January 17, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .090
Usenet rating: .295
QUOTES:
=======
THE MARK OF GIDEON
PLOT:
=====
Kirk is decoyed into a replica of the Enterprise, empty except for Odona, a
dizzy chick. Spock is on the real Enterprise, searching for Kirk through a
slough of red tape, and eventually defies Star Fleet Command. The people
of Gideon are trying to get infected by Kirk to control their over-
population problem.
FACTS:
======
- Spock defies Star Fleet Command.
OPINIONS:
=========
Stank on ice.
You can only take so many of these "1960s social issues" episodes (popu-
lation control).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
86 THE MENAGERIE (part 1)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Jeffrey Hunter (Young Pike)
Susan Oliver (Vina)
Malachi Throne (Commodore Mendez)
Julie Parrish
Hagan Beggs
Peter Duryea
Meg Wyllie
John Hoyt
Majel Barrett (Number One)
Sean Kenney (crippled Pike)
AIRED: November 17, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .570
Usenet rating: .780
QUOTES:
=======
- "We've learned to tie into every human organ except one: the brain"
--McCoy
THE MENAGERIE (part 1)
PLOT:
=====
Spock steals the Enterprise and its old captain, Christopher Pike (who is
now an invalid incapable of speech or movement, except for a blinking
light). Kirk and another officer (Commodore Mendez) chase after him in a
shuttlecraft. Spock beams the two aboard after the shuttlecraft runs out
of fuel.
Spock sets the ship on automatic control (destination: Talos IV) and kills
the override (crosses it with life-support). Three captains are present,
so court-martial proceedings can take place, with Spock showing scenes from
"The Cage" (Star Trek's original pilot episode), the Enterprise voyage 13
years ago, as testimony.
FACTS:
======
- Someone claims there is a doorknob on the door to Captain Pike's
quarters, and that it is the only doorknob in a federation setting. This
is really ironic, since Captain Pike is the only person who is not able
to turn such a knob!
- The only way to get the death penalty anymore is to go to Talos IV
(general order 7).
- The shuttlecraft that Kirk is on is a class F shuttlecraft with
theranium hull.
- Spock served under Pike for 11 years, 4 months, 5 days.
- Kirk may have had a tryst with Lt. Helen Johanson (referred to as a
yeoman). (This may have been in part 2)
OPINIONS:
=========
Captain Pike's one-bit prosthetic device is pretty lame. We have better
technology than that in this century. Why didn't they just hook up a
universal translator to a mind-reading device, as in Metamorphosis, or just
assign him a nurse from a telepathic species? There are many better
solutions than a single light which he can blink once or twice. How about
three lights on the front of his chair: A green one for "yes", a red one
for "no", and a yellow one for "now *there's* a hot babe; I wouldn't mind
getting into *her* pants if I weren't confined to this damn wheelchair!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
88 THE MENAGERIE (part 2)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Jeffrey Hunter (Young Pike)
Susan Oliver (Vina)
Malachi Throne (Commodore Mendez)
Julie Parrish
Hagan Beggs
Peter Duryea
Meg Wylie
John Hoyt
Majel Barrett (Number One)
Sean Kenney (crippled Pike)
AIRED: November 24, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .570
Usenet rating: .743
QUOTES:
=======
- "Captain Pike has illusion, and you have reality. May you find your way
as pleasant." --The Keeper
THE MENAGERIE (part 2)
PLOT:
=====
Spock shows more scenes from "The Cage". Commodore Mendez disappears (he
was never really there, the Talosians were making the crew think he was
there to keep them occupied with the hearings). Pike returns to the
fatheads, who make him think he is cured and can walk and is young and
everything. Talosians make your dreams come true.
FACTS:
======
- Spock defies Star Fleet Command, Kirk, and Pike.
- Thirty-one years ago SS Columbia crashed on Talos IV.
- Thirteen years ago the USS Enterprise (Pike, Spock, Number One, 203
crew) went to Talos IV.
- The Enterprise is the only earthship to go to Talos IV.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
90 METAMORPHOSIS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. Coon
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: Glenn Corbett (Zephram Cochrane)
Elinor Donahue (Miss Hedford)
AIRED: November 10, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .450
Usenet rating: .426
QUOTES:
=======
- "Let me feel the earth beneath my feet [blah blah] sun." --Someone (but
since they weren't on the Earth, they should have said "ground", etc.)
METAMORPHOSIS
PLOT:
=====
While transporting an annoying Starfleet ambassador/observer wench
somewhere (she caught a disease on her last assignment and McCoy is worried
the whole show that she is going to die), the Enterprise receives a
distress signal. An Enterprise shuttlecraft (along with the wench, who
went along to the planet for some reason) is forced down to the planet that
the signal originated at. On the planet they find Zephram Cochrane, who
has been kept immortal by a cloud of electricity called the Companion, who
brought Kirk, et.al. to the planet to keep Zephram company.
FACTS:
======
- First episode with Gene Roddenberry in opening credits?
- Shuttlecraft Galileo.
- Commissioner Nancy Hedford was this week's dork.
- Class H-M planets can support human life.
- Zephram Cochrane (of Alpha Centauri) was supposed to have died 150 years
ago at the age of 87. He was the inventor of the warp drive.
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot was fine, but the wench spoiled it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
92 MIRI
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Adrian Spies
DIRECTOR: Vincent McEveety
GUESTS: Kim Darby (Miri?)
Michael J. Pollard
Jim Goodwin
John Megna
Ed McCready
Dawn Roddenberry (kid)
___ Shatner (kid)
___ Shatner (kid)
AIRED: October 27, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .312
Usenet rating: .264
QUOTES:
=======
- "On the ship... I wanted to get you to look at my legs..." --Janice Rand
(to Kirk)
- "Bonk bonk on the head." --Brat
- "I never get involved with older women." --Kirk
MIRI
PLOT:
=====
The landing party (Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and (purely for plot value) Yeoman
Janice Rand) beam down to a planet that appears to be an exact duplicate of
Earth (except for the strange lack of clouds). It even roates the same
direction. The outline of North America (and later other continents) can
be seen while the Enterprise orbits (though it keeps changing the direction
it orbits). Kirk believes that the planet is in the stage of development
Earth was in the early 20th century, but Spock corrects him--saying it is
closer to the 1960s (amazingly enough).
The few people they find are in their late teens and horribly disfigured.
Later, they find Miri, an adolescent who develops a crush on Kirk. McCoy
discovers that there was a plague that struck--wiping out all the adults.
It starts to affect the landing party (except for Spock, though he is a
carrier). They soon discover that the plague was accidentally
self-inflicted by the denizens of the planet when they were trying to alter
the population so that they would only age a month every hundred years.
Unfortunately, once the people reach puberty, they are afflicted by this
weird plague that causes blue splotches to appear on the skin; eventually
the person goes mad and tries to hurt everyone else.
Having a week before the landing party is toast, McCoy and Spock develop a
vaccine that will stop (and reverse) the bad effects. The only problem:
the children of the planet have stolen the communicators so McCoy can't
contact the ship to find out the correct dosage.
Kirk gets Miri (who has started to turn blue) to take him to the children,
and after taking a beating he gets the communicators back. McCoy, having
no confidence in Kirk's ability to retrieve the devices in time, gives
himself a full dosage and starts screaming in pain. Spock notices that the
unconscious McCoy is starting to lose the blue splotches, so he must have
guessed the correct dosage totally by accident. Too bad he didn't wait
another 60 seconds for Kirk to bring the communicators back, eh?
FACTS:
======
- 300-year-old children die at age 300.
- The children call themselves "onlies" and call the landing party
"grups" (grownups).
- The children only have enough food for a few months.
- Earth-like planet circa 1960s.
- 1 stardate = 12.97 hours.
- 1 stardate > 24.05 hours.
- One of Shatner's kids may have an uncredited acting role in this one.
OPINIONS:
=========
Probably the *least* annoying of the "children" episodes. Probably the
youngest female Kirk has seduced (except that she was physically over 300
years old).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
94 MIRROR, MIRROR
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jerome Bixby
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Barbara Luna (Marlena Moreau)
Vic Perrin
AIRED: October 6, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .850
Usenet rating: .824
QUOTES:
=======
- "I'm a doctor, not an engineer." --McCoy "Now you're an engineer."
--Scotty
- "You want credits, Spock? I'll make you a rich man." --Mirror-Kirk
- "I've never seen perfection, but no woman could come closer to it."
--Kirk
- "Regrettable that this society has chosen suicide." --Mirror-Spock
- "I'll have you all executed!" --??? "I think not." --???
- "Jim, [let me stay]." --Scotty (the only time he called Kirk "Jim")
MIRROR, MIRROR
PLOT:
=====
Due to a transporter malfunction, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura are
accidentally exchanged with their counterparts in a parallel universe,
where the Federation is a violent, dictatorial Empire. In the alternate
universe, the crew murder to rise in rank (Kirk took command of the ISS
Enterprise after assassinating Captain Pike, etc). On the ISS Enterprise,
the captain's woman, Marlena Moreau, shows Kirk the Tantalis Field, which
can destroy a person without being present.
FACTS:
======
- Alternate universe.
- Spock has a beard in the alternate universe.
- Mirror-Kirk assassinated Pike, ___, then assassinated colonists on Vega
9.
- The Halkan predict galactic revolt.
- Alternate-Sulu makes a play for Uhura.
- Kirk falls for the alternate Marlena.
- The Mirror-Spock estimates the overthrow of the Empire in 240 years.
- Mirror-Spock mind melds with McCoy.
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty good episode, and it let the actors be out of character, which is
always good.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
96 MUDD'S WOMEN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Stephen Kandel
STORY: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Harvey Hart
GUESTS: Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd)
Karen Steele (Eve?)
Susan Denberg (Bachelorette #2?)
Maggie Thrett (Bachelorette #3?)
Gene Dynarski (Childress)
Jim Goodwin (Farrell)
Jon Kowal (miner?)
Seamon Glass
AIRED: October 13, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .455
Usenet rating: .463
QUOTES:
=======
- "This is me cargo" --Mudd (referring to the three women)
- "The fact that my internal organization differs from yours pleases me to
no end." --Spock (after McCoy makes some crack about his heart being
around his left hip)
MUDD'S WOMEN
PLOT:
=====
Jack-of-all-illegal-trades Harry Mudd is transported aboard the Enterprise
along with his cargo, three irresistibly beautiful women (Eve, Magda,
Ruth). Mudd uses beauty pills "Venus drug" to make women beautiful, then
sells them to wealthy single miners. Kirk uses up the lithium crystals
chasing Mudd into an asteroid field and goes to Rigel 12 to get new ones,
where he replaces Mudd's pills with gelatin (thus proving to the women that
it wasn't really the drug that made them beautiful; beauty comes from
within (barf)).
FACTS:
======
- Mr Ferrill is this week's dork.
- Spock thinks dilithium crystals are "beautiful".
- Dilithium crystals are referred to as "lithium" crystals in this epi-
sode.
- Harcourt Fenton Mudd's master's license revoked on stardate 1116.4.
- Stardate 1329.9 (?) to 29.1 to 29.2 to 30.1
- Kirk falls for Eve McHuron.
OPINIONS:
=========
An average episode overall. Not bad for an early episode. The Mudd
character is always a joy to watch.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
98 THE NAKED TIME
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: John D. F. Black
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Stewart Moss (Tormolen)
Majel Barrett (Christine)
Bruce Hyde (Riley)
Grace Lee Whitney (Yeoman Rand)
William Knight (Amorous Crewman)
John Bellah (Laughing Crewman)
AIRED: September 29, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .550
Usenet rating: .642
QUOTES:
=======
- "It's like nothing we've dealt with before." --Spock
- "I can't change the laws of physics; I've got to have 30 minutes."
--Scotty
- "...my beautiful yeoman..." --Kirk
- "Skin temperature is 2170 degrees" --Spock(?)
- "Take D'Artagnan to sick bay." --Spock
- "242 pulse, blood pressure almost non-existent (that is if you call that
green stuff in your veins blood)." --McCoy "The readings are [okay]. As
for my anatomy being different from yours - I am delighted." --Spock
- "I'll protect you, fair maiden." --Sulu "Sorry, neither" --Uhura
- "Don't you think I'd shut if off if I could?!" --Uhura
THE NAKED TIME
PLOT:
=====
A strange malady strikes the crew of the Enterprise, causing them to
succumb to their innermost desires. Everyone goes insane.
FACTS:
======
- Spock cries.
- Sulu fancies himself a swashbuckler.
- Sulu makes a play for Uhura.
- They go back in time.
- Nurse Chapel has the hots for Spock.
- They have to cold-start the engines.
- Kevin Thomas Riley is this week's dork.
OPINIONS:
=========
Another wonderful episode where the actors are allowed to step outside of
their usual personas.
They show a clock when they go back in time. The clock is one of those old
"spinning dials with numbers on it" type digital clocks. The label on it
says "minutes", but in "The Savage Curtain", Lincoln asks if they still use
minutes, and Kirk says "we can convert".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
100 OBSESSION
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Art Wallace
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: Stephen Brooks (Garrovick?)
Jerry Ayres
AIRED: December 15, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .425
Usenet rating: .576
QUOTES:
=======
- "Crazy way to travel... spreading a man's molecules all over the uni-
verse." --McCoy
- "This is impossible. Nothing could do that." --Redshirt (who gets it)
- "What happened is medically impossible." --McCoy
- "If we keep this speed, we'll blow up any minute now." --Scotty
- "Thank heavens" --Scotty. "Mr Scott, there was no deity involved; it
was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them" --Spock. "Well, then
thank pitchforks and point[ed|y] ears." --McCoy.
OBSESSION
PLOT:
=====
Kirk disregards all other responsibilities in an effort to destroy a
gaseous vampire cloud that feeds on red corpuscles. Kirk was supposed to
rendezvous with the USS Yorktown in two hours because vaccines are needed
on Theta 7. Eleven years ago something happened to the USS Ferrigut. The
captain (Garrovick) and half the crew died (200 people). This was Lt
Kirk's first mission. Everyone has been calling it "the creature", then
when Spock calls it "the creature", McCoy questions this name. Kirk has
ensign Garrovick accompany him on the planet, where he attacks Kirk in a
flash of bravery/stupidity (isn't this a court-martial offense?)
FACTS:
======
- Rock is 21.x times harder than diamonds.
- They use "phaser two" again.
- Spock's hemoglobin is based on copper, not iron.
OPINIONS:
=========
Not an outstanding episode, but not one that should be avoided.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
102 THE OMEGA GLORY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Vincent McEveety
GUESTS: Morgan Woodward
Toy Jensen
Irene Kelley
David L. Ross
Eddie Paskey
Ed McReady
Lloyd Kino
Morgan Farley
AIRED: March 1, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .440
Usenet rating: .367
QUOTES:
=======
- The ham-acting at the end is a pretty good quote by Shatner.
THE OMEGA GLORY
PLOT:
=====
Captain Tracy (who somehow became an officer in Star Fleet) defies Star
Fleet Command because he thinks he's found a planet of eternal youth, and
decides to meddle in the struggle between the Yangs and the Coms. This
alternate Earth has the U.S. flag, some American documents, and a book
with a picture of Satan who looks like Spock. Kirk and Spock are in a cell
and try to befriend a larger inmate.
FACTS:
======
- Alternate Earth.
- Captain Tracy is this week's dork.
- Defy Star Fleet Command/Prime Directive violation by Captain Ronald
Tracey.
- Spock sort of uses the Vulcan mind meld across a crowded room.
OPINIONS:
=========
Shatner's ham-acting is the only real reason to watch this episode. The
basic plot isn't all that bad, but the execution of it isn't carried off
all that well.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
104 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Stephen W. Carabatsos
DIRECTOR: Herschel Daugherty
GUESTS: Dave Armstrong
Craig Hundley
Joan Swift
Maurishka
AIRED: April 13, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .775
Usenet rating: .576
QUOTES:
=======
- "[I don't care what it takes or costs, just help him]." --Kirk
- "The brightness of the Vulcan sun [has caused us to grow a second
eyelid]" --Spock (waving his hands frantically in the air)
- "[Spock is the] best first officer in the fleet." --McCoy
- "You were so concerned about his Vulcan eyes you forgot about his Vulcan
ears" --Kirk
OPERATION--ANNIHILATE!
PLOT:
=====
Parasitic creatures (flying pizza bats/fried eggs) cause insanity in
victims by landing on their backs and entering the nervous system via the
spine, which they wrap around. Jim's brother Sam Kirk is dead on the
planet, but they manage to save Jim's nephew Peter Kirk.
Spock is infected by one of the parasites. McCoy thinks light might
destroy them (1000 candles per square inch), so Spock logically decided to
get blinded instead of wearing protective goggles. Vulcans have a second
eyelid that Spock never thought to bring up and McCoy for some reason was
unaware of. The eggs came 8 months ago (they are actually brain cells of
some larger being). Enterprise outside hull temperature is 1000 degrees
and rising when they chase a small ship into the sun.
FACTS:
======
- Mass insanity in Deneva system.
- George Samuel Kirk (Sam) is a research biologist.
- Sam Kirk's private frequency is "______, subspace frequency three".
- Colonized 1000 years ago.
- The Enterprise has 14 science labs.
- Sick bay register #2: the K3 indicator displays the level of pain.
- This is the last episode with "the" final frontier in the opening.
- McCoy thinks the good of the none outweigh the good of the many (doesn't
want to kill millions to save billions when the millions would die
either way.)
- The Enterprise is at warp 8 inside a solar system (I thought you
couldn't use warp inside a solar system?)
- Kirk says "I don't care what it takes or costs, just help him."
("Costs"? I didn't think they still had money in that century)
- Scotty made the asteroid belt run as an engineering advisor.
- The creatures are sensitive to non-visible light "much like dogs are
sensitive [to only] a certain [range of sounds]".
- They rig up a series of satellites around the planet to get rid of the
planet.
- At the end of the episode, they head off to Starbase 10.
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot was enjoyable, but Spock was bogus.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
106 THE PARADISE SYNDROME
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Margaret Armen
DIRECTOR: Jud Taylor
GUESTS: Sabrina Scharf (Mirimani)
Rudy Solari (Salish, the medicine man)
AIRED: October 4, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .996
Usenet rating: .646
QUOTES:
=======
- "Each kiss is as the first." --Mirimani
THE PARADISE SYNDROME
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise has to deal with a meteor that is about to collide with a
planet of American Indians. Kirk accidentally enters a temple in which he
accidentally pushes a button, causing him to lose his memory. Spock gives
up the search for him in order to deflect the meteor. Kirk is seen
emerging from the temple and is assumed to be a god by the Indian populace
(brought from Earth by aliens). Kirk marries Mirimani, who has his child,
but she dies before it is born during a stoning of her and Kirk for being a
fraud.
FACTS:
======
- Alternate Earth (transplanted Earth colony).
- Nurse Chapel has blue underwear.
- This episode spans more than 59 days.
- "He Has Walked Among Us" and "Paleface" were combined into "The Paradise
Syndrome", according to speculation by Allen Asherman and David Gerrold.
Reportedly, only Gene Coon knew for sure, and of course he's been dead
for about 15 years...
OPINIONS:
=========
It's really hard not to like this episode.
The Preservers probably also seeded humans on Omega IV ("The Omega Glory"),
Ekos (""), The Second Earth ("Miri"), The Roman Planet ("Bread and
Circuses"), Paradise Planet ("The Paradise Syndrome").
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
108 PATTERNS OF FORCE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas
DIRECTOR: Vincent McEveety
GUESTS: David Brian (John Gill?)
Skip Homeier (Melakon)
Richard Evans
Valora Norland (Blond spy)
William Wintersole
Patrick Horgan
Ralph Maurer
Gilbert Green
Bart LaRue
Paul Baxley
Pater Canon
AIRED: February 16, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .860
Usenet rating: .648
QUOTES:
=======
- "He must be dead." --McCoy (about Gill)
- "You should make a very convincing Nazi." --Spock to Kirk
- "The pain!" --Kirk
- "[I'm starting to see why humans enjoy gambling.] No matter how
[precisely one calculates the odds...] --Spock "Very good, Spock. We
may make a human out of you yet." --Kirk "I [certainly] hope not."
--Spock
- "I don't care if you hit the broad side of a barn." --Kirk "Why should
I wish to aim at such a structure?" --Spock
- "What in blazes is this?" --McCoy
- "Note the [___] eyes and the malformed ears. Obviously [an inferior
race]" --Mal?k*
- "[Note the low forehead]. The dull look of a trapped animal." --Mal?k*
- "Is he dead, Captain?" --Spock "Dead." --Kirk
- "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." --McCoy
- "[ , ]Alexander, [___], Caesar, [___] Napoleon [___], Hitler, [___] Li
Quan." --Spock
PATTERNS OF FORCE
PLOT:
=====
A Federation historian (John Gill - Kirk's instructor at the Academy)
ignores the Prime Directive (as seems to be a prerequisite for entrance
into the Federation) and reshapes a planet's society along the lines of
Nazi Germany. Landing party implants subcutaneous transponders under their
skin to be used as transporter locators for Kirk and Spock.
FACTS:
======
- Alternate Earth (changed to be patterned after Earth).
- Spock's whip marks are green; Kirk's are red.
- Vulcan mind probe.
OPINIONS:
=========
Another episode that's hard not to enjoy.
The transponders were a great idea in general, but this is the only episode
where they used them, and then they didn't use them for their intended
purpose! Of course, the real reason is that a lot of episodes would be way
too short if it were possible to beam our heroes out of trouble.
making a laser out of a transponder and a light bulb is somewhat bogus, and
especially being able to aim it as accurately as they did.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
110 A PIECE OF THE ACTION
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: David P. Harmon and Gene L. Coon
STORY: David P. Harmon
DIRECTOR: James Komack
GUESTS: Anthony Caruso (Bella Oxmix)
Victor Tayback (Jojo Krako)
Lee Delano
John Harmon
Steve Arnold
Dyanne Thorne
Sharon Hillyer
Sheldon Collins
AIRED: January 12, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .845
Usenet rating: .848
QUOTES:
=======
- "Fascinating." --Spock (after staring at the posterior of a woman in a
short skirt walking by)
- "This is like coming home." --McCoy "Home was never like this." --Kirk
- "Don't give me those baby blue eyes." --Gangster
- "That man's dead back there." --McCoy
- "Published in 1992." --Kirk
- "On Beta Antares Four they play a card game..." --Kirk
- "The name of the game is called fizbin. Each player gets six cards
exceptfor the dealer and the player on the dealer's [right]." --Kirk
- "The odds of getting a royal fizbin are astronomical... Spock, what are
the odds of getting a royal fizbin?" --Kirk "I have never computed
them." --Spock
- "Makers of bang-bang... the sweetest little [heater|cereal] in the..."
--radio
- "I just think your behavior is arrested." --Kirk "I ain't never been
arrested in my whole life." --Krako
- "Why would he put a bag on my captain?" --Spock
- "They can't do nothin' til they're through sparklin'" --Gangster
- "Sir, you are employing a double negative." --Spock "Eh?" --Oxmix
- "[...] logic [...] ---Spock "You admit that." --McCoy "To deny that
would be illogical." --Spock
- "Get out of the clothes." --Kirk
- "Captain, you are an excellent Starship Captain, but as a taxi driver
you leave much to be desired." --Spock
- "Where'd you get them ears?" --Kid "Young man!" --Spock
- "Out of the mouths of babes..." --Kirk "Who you callin' a babe?"
--Young Man "I'm calling you a babe... but [don't take it personally.]"
--Kirk
- "Who's your friend with the ears, Kirk?" --Krako
- "I believe it would be wise to do as he says. I believe I [just heard]"
--Spock "[Just heard the] sound of a machine gun bolt being pulled
back." --Kirk
- "That's peanuts to [an outfit like the] Federation. Right?" --Kirk
"Unquestionably." --Spock "*Right*?" --Kirk "Right." --Spock
- "Miniscule... a very... small... piece [of the action]" --Spock
- "Check?" -Kirk "Right." -Spock
- "Right?" --Kirk "Check." --Spock
- "It looks like *we* put the bag on you." --Scott
- "[___] you'll be wearin' concrete galoshes." --Scott "You mean cement
overshoes?" --Krako "Aye." --Scott
- "You afraid of cars?" --Kirk "[No], it's your driving." --Spock
- "[ ] neutronium, but [ ]." --Scott
- "I would advise *youse* to keep dialing, Oxmix." --Spock
- "I'm comin' over with a couple of my boys and I'll... mother." --Boss
- "The transtator is the basic [component] in all of our machinery."
--Kirk
- "Daddy, daddy, I hurt myself!" --Boy "Whatsa matter kid, you hurt
yourself?" --Guard
A PIECE OF THE ACTION
PLOT:
=====
Kirk must find a way to counteract the effects of an earlier expedition,
which caused a planet's civilization (Iotians) to pattern itself after the
Chicago mobs of the 1920s.
He tries to get the gang leaders to unite, so they have some semblance of a
government, but seems to have little effect.
McCoy ends up leaving his communicator behind, so new contamination has
beemn seeded for the future.
FACTS:
======
- Alternate Earth (the Iotians are imitative and pattern their lives after
a book about the 1920s).
- The USS Horizon left the book.
- Vulcan nerve pinch.
- Kirk calls McCoy "Sawbones" and calls Spock "Spocko".
OPINIONS:
=========
A good "campy" episode; entertaining in much in the same way as the old
"Batman" television series was. Another one of those wonderful episodes
where the actors are able to step out of character.
It could have been worse. They could have accidentally left a really bad
novel behind... like maybe "The Royale". :-)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
112 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Meyer Dolinsky
DIRECTOR: David Alexander
GUESTS: Michael Dunn
Liam Sullivan
Barbara Babcock
Ted Scott
Derek Partridge
AIRED: November 22, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .640
Usenet rating: .450
QUOTES:
=======
"I stopped aging at 30... I am 2300 years old" --Main chick
PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN
PLOT:
=====
Telekinetic Greeks get their power from the local food, which contains
kirocide. Alexander the dwarf doesn't have the power. Spock sings and
laughs.
FACTS:
======
- They got the power ____ months after their food supply ran out and they
had to start eating the local food.
- First inter-racial kiss on television. The only reason it was likely let
by the censors is that the kiss was "forced" by the gods.
OPINIONS:
=========
One of the least annoying performances of a dwarf in all of videodom.
Another of those episodes where they make a great discovery (how to induce
telekinesis), but they never use it again in later episodes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
114 A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene Roddenberry
STORY: Judd Crucis
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Nancy Kovack (Nona)
Michael Witney (Nona's old hubbie?)
Booker Marshall
Arthur Bernard
Joe Romeo
Janos Prohaska
AIRED: February 2, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .550
Usenet rating: .565
QUOTES:
=======
- "War isn't a good life, but it's [a] life." --Kirk
- "Well, you got what you wanted [, Captain]." --McCoy "Not what I
wanted... what had to be." --Kirk
- "Beam us up home." --Kirk
A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR
PLOT:
=====
When the Klingons arm one tribe on a once-peaceful planet, Kirk decides to
arm the other tribe. Kirk is jumped by a furry white Mugato beast, then
saved by Nona who cuts her hand, then uses a live mako root to heal him,
which acts as a love potion (like it's needed for Kirk to fall in love with
a chick).
Nona finds herself surrounded by her enemies, and tries to offer Kirk's
phaser in orser to stay alive. When help arrives, her captors think it was
a trap, and fatally stab her.
Kirk had been put on on this planet 13 years ago (when he was about 21) to
study these people and their culture. His old friend from this planet is
Tyree.
FACTS:
======
- Phaser used for heat (?)
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot was original, but Kirk was bogus.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
116 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Jerome Bixby
DIRECTOR: Murray Golden
GUESTS: James Daly (Flint)
Louise Sorel (Rayna Kapec)
AIRED: February 14, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .660
Usenet rating: .564
QUOTES:
=======
- "Do you think the two of us can handle a drunk Vulcan?" --McCoy
- "We put on a pretty poor show, didn't we?" --Kirk (a good quote to take
out of context :-)
- "Forget..." --Spock
REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise crew has contracted Rigelian fever (the modern equivalent of
the bubonic plague). Flint is an immortal being. Kirk falls in love with
android Rayna, who was built and taught by Flint, and has the equivalent of
(16?) university degrees. Flint built the M4 robot to serve him. Spock
experiences envy for Flint's art collection, drinks 100 year old Brandy,
plays piano, and erases part of Kirk's memory. Flint wanted to use Kirk to
rouse emotions in Rayna, so that she would become fully human and would be
a suitable, immortal mate.
FACTS:
======
- Flint was born in 3834 B.C.
- Flint was lots of famous people: Methuselum, daVinci, Socrates, Moses,
Brahms.
- 1 stardate is about 960 hours!
- Spock wipes Kirk's memory (form of mind meld).
OPINIONS:
=========
Another good idea with a fairly decent plot execution.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
118 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Boris Sobelman
STORY: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Harry Townes
Torin Thatcher
Charles Macauley
Christopher Held
Brioni Farrell
Sid Haig
Jon Lormer
Morgan Farley
Ralph Maurer
Eddie Paskey
David L. Ross
AIRED: February 9, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .740
Usenet rating: .451
QUOTES:
=======
- "Are you of the body?" --McCoy
- "Festival!" --Crowd
- "Impossible. He's under extremely strong mind control." --Spock
RETURN OF THE ARCHONS
PLOT:
=====
An entire planet is under the total mental control of a mysterious being
known as "Landru", who turns out to be the ruling computer. Kirk, et.al.
find a cult-like society where everyone is mindless, spaced out, content,
except during "festival" when everyone goes crazy. Hooded people keep
order, using hollow rods as weapons.
Kirk decides that this isn't the way a society should live, and destroys
the computer (again).
FACTS:
======
- Is Torin Thatcher related to Kirk Thatcher ("Star Trek IV")?
OPINIONS:
=========
You gotta watch this episode just for McCoy's facial expressions when he's
brainwashed. :-)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
120 RETURN TO TOMORROW
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: John Kingsbridge
STORY: John Dugan
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: Diana Muldaur (Ann Mulhall)
AIRED: February 9, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .250
Usenet rating: .438
QUOTES:
=======
- "All readings are off the scale, Captain." --Ann Mulhall
RETURN TO TOMORROW
PLOT:
=====
Highly advance alien minds in globes "borrow" three bodies, including those
of Kirk and Spock, in order to build permanent android bodies. One of them
does not wish to leave his borrowed body. Sargon is one of the aliens.
FACTS:
======
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
122 THE SAVAGE CURTAIN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Arthur Heinemann and Gene Roddenberry
STORY: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Herschel Daugherty
GUESTS: Barry Atwater (Surak)
Phillip Pine (Col. Green)
Arell Blanton (Chief Security Guard)
Carol Daniels DeMent (Zora)
Robert Herron (Kahless)
Nathan Jung (Ghengis Khan)
Lee Bergere (Lincoln?)
Janos Prohaska (Yarnek)
Bart LaRue
Lt. Arell Blanton
AIRED: March 7, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .840
Usenet rating: .574
QUOTES:
=======
- "Scotty, inform Starfleet Command; disengage nacelles, jettison if
[possible]." --Kirk
- "[My adversary packs a pretty good punch] for someone [who doesn't
exist. But I forget, you don't believe I exist]." --Lincoln
- "A Vulcan would not cry out so." --Spock (therefore this isn't really
Surek we hear calling for help , but let's walk into the trap anyway,
ok?)
THE SAVAGE CURTAIN
PLOT:
=====
Lincoln of Earth and Surak of Vulcan join Kirk and Spock in battle against
Ghengis Khan, Col Green (from Earth's 1990's?), the ruthless Klingon
Kahless the Unforgettable (the author of the planet's evil), and some evil
chick, while a hot alien talking rock observes the differences between good
and evil.
Surak refuses to fight because he's a pacifist. Spock idolizes Surak, but
will fight by Kirk's side. Lincoln doesn't mind fighting as much. Surak
and Lincoln both die. Good triumphs over evil (again) and Kirk refuses to
kill his enemy (again).
FACTS:
======
- Surak is the Buddha/Socrates/Jesus figure of Vulcan culture
OPINIONS:
=========
Pretty good for yet another "Good vs Evil" story.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
124 SHORE LEAVE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Theodore Sturgeon
DIRECTOR: Robert Sparr
GUESTS: Emily Banks (Yeoman Tonia Barrows?)
Oliver McGowan (the caretaker)
Perry Lopez
Bruce Mars (Finigan)
James Gruzaf
Shirley Bonne (Ruth?)
Sebastion Tom
AIRED: December 29, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .725
Usenet rating: .566
QUOTES:
=======
- "Stardate 3025-point-ahhhh-3." --Kirk
- "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of
play. --Kirk
SHORE LEAVE
PLOT:
=====
The crew of the Enterprise takes shore leave on a planet where their every
thought is immediately converted into reality, including Alice and the
White Rabbit and Kirk's friend (?) [Finigan|Finnegan].
FACTS:
======
- McCoy dies.
- McCoy falls for Yeoman Tonia Barrows.
- Kirk is about 35 years old.
- First episode with McCoy in opening credits? (or Amok Time)
- Kirk imagines his old flame Ruth.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
126 SPACE SEED
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. Coon and Carey Wilbur
STORY: Carey Wilbur
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Ricardo Montalban (Khan)
Madlyn Rhue (McGivers?)
Blaisdell Makee
Mark Tobin
AIRED: February 16, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .998
Usenet rating: .763
QUOTES:
=======
- "Irritation? I am not capable of that emotion" -Spock
- "Superior ability breeds superior ambition" --Spock
- "I am surprised to see you, Captain, though pleased." --Spock
SPACE SEED
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise runs across an atomic-powered sleeper ship (the SS Botany
Bay, with transistors) full of supermen fleeing their defeat in the
Eugenics War on Earth (1993 - where superior humans were cross-bred).
McGivers is a Enterprise crewmember skilled in 20th century Earth history,
who falls in love with Khan and chooses to be banished with him at the end.
FACTS:
======
- The Enterprise was on its way to Starbase 12.
- Earth used cryogenics through 2018.
- McCoy gives Khan instructions on how to kill him.
- When Kirk smashes Khan's glass container, his phaser falls off and McCoy
keeps looking at it, wondering if they're going to re-shoot the scene!
- Khan's ship is atomic powered.
OPINIONS:
=========
Ricardo Mantalban does the best acting job on any trek episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
128 SPECTRE OF THE GUN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. "Lee Cronin" Coon
DIRECTOR: Vincent McEveety
GUESTS: Ron Soble (Wyatt Earp)
Bonnie Beecher (Sylvia)
Charles Maxwell (Virgil Earp)
Rex Holman (Morgan Earp)
Sam Gilman (Doc Holliday)
Charles Seel (Ed)
Bill Zuckert (Johnny Behan)
Ed McCready (Barber)
Abraham Sofaer (Melkotian Voice)
Gregg Palmer
Richard Anthony
AIRED: October 25, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .835
Usenet rating: .541
QUOTES:
=======
- "I'm a doctor." --McCoy
- "There's nothing I can do, Jim." -McCoy (when Chekov dies)
- "History cannot be changed." --Spock (even though they almost change
history often)
- "Energy output increasing beyond measurable levels, Captain." --Spock
- "Impossible, Dr. McCoy. My transporter was working perfectly." --Scotty
- "That's impossible. Things like this can't happen." --Scotty
- "Is this a dead man[, Doctor]?" --Spock "Very dead, Mr. Spock." --McCoy
SPECTRE OF THE GUN
PLOT:
=====
Kirk, Spock, Scotty, McCoy, and Chekov find themselves on the losing side
of the gunfight at the OK Corral when they choose to ignore a warning buoy
(shaped like a boxkite) and cross into Melkotian-owned space. Kirk hears
the warning in English, Spock in Vulcan, Uhura in Swahili, [and Chekov in
Russian?], so it was likely done with telepathy.
They try various ways of convincing the people of the town that they are
not who they appear to be, but everyone thinks they are in character.
They try to leave town, but find a force-field. They try to stay in town
and avoid the O.K. Corral, but are transported there. Spock mind-melds
Kirk, Scotty, and McCoy (Chekov was already shot dead) into believing that
the bullets are not real.
FACTS:
======
- October 26, 1881.
- Star Date 4385.3
- Warp 2.
- Kirk is this week's dork for ignoring the warning.
- Chekov falls in love with Sylvia and dies.
- Spock in a Vulcan mind meld orgy.
- M-Rays.
OPINIONS:
=========
Some pretty good character acting in this episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
130 SPOCK'S BRAIN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene "Lee Cronin" Coon
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Marj Dusay (Kara)
Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel)
James Daris (Creature)
Sheila Leighton (Luma)
AIRED: September 20, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .115
Usenet rating: .163
QUOTES:
=======
- "[Givers of] pain and delight [she said...]" --Kirk "[Well, surely you
noticed] the delightful aspects." --McCoy "[I certainly did notice]
those delightful aspects." --Kirk
- "Brain and [more] brain; what is brain?" --Bimbo
- "[Yes, it's so simple] a child could [do it]..." --McCoy
- "He's operating at warp speed." --Scotty.
- "While I might trust the doctor to remove a splinter or lance a boil, I
cannot trust him to replace a brain." --Spock
- "[The knowledge to reconnect a brain] does not [exist yet in the
galaxy.] --Spock
- "I never should have re-connected his mouth." --McCoy
SPOCK'S BRAIN
PLOT:
=====
A race of imbecile women steal Spock's brain to lead them. McCoy and
Scotty hook up Spock's body to move via remote control. Kirk must decide
which of three habitated planets Spock's brain was taken to, although none
of them should possess the technology to surgically remove a brain.
Naturally, after Chekov's descriptoins of the planets evolution and
population, Kirk chooses the most primitive planet.
Women live underground in a climate-controlled cave, while the men must
survive in the Arctic temperatures on the surface. McCoy puts on the
"Teacher", a thinking cap that gives you lots of knowledge for a short
while (in order to re-install Spock's brain.) Without Spock to keep
everything running, the women have to start *thinking* again.
FACTS:
======
- Planet is Sigma Draconis 7 (once character calls it Sigma Draconis 6).
- Givers of pain and delight.
- How come when everyone is unconscious Kirk always wakes up first?
- The bimbo's ship uses ion-propulsion, so they know it is highly ad-
vanced.
- Star Date goes from 5431.4-4351.5-5431.6-5432.3
- They have 24 hours to put Spock's brain back in.
- At Star Date 5431.4 they have 8.x hours left.
- At Star Date 4351.5 they have 8.x hours left.
OPINIONS:
=========
Not as bad as some people claim, as long as you take it for its comedic
value rather than looking for a deep plot. There are times I find myself
laughing out loud at this episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
132 THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Paul Schneider
DIRECTOR: Don McDougall
GUESTS: William Campbell (Trelane)
Richard Carlyle
Michael Barrier
Venita Wolf
AIRED: January 12, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .660
Usenet rating: .528
QUOTES:
=======
- "'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected, 'interesting' shall
suffice here." --Spock
- "I object to you. I object to intellect without [...], to power without
constructive purpose." -- Spock
- "[Spock,] you have one saving grace after all: you're ill mannered."
--Trelane
- "You cheated!" --Trelane
- "I woulda won! I woulda!" --Trelane
THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS
PLOT:
=====
The crew of the Enterprise are made unwilling guests of the powerful but
capricious General Trelane (retired). This weapon-happy person made the
planet Gothos a copy of the Earth as he sees it (900 years ago since he is
900 light years away) - Napoleonic. Kirk destroys his power source hidden
behind a mirror, which only makes Trelane more angry. Eventually, his
parents tell him to come home; that he is being a naughty boy.
FACTS:
======
- James Doohan does the voice of Trelane's father.
- The salt-sucker suit from "The Man Trap" shows up in Trelane's
collection.
- They got their math wrong on this episode with respect to how long it
has been since the time of Napolean.
- Trelane knows what kind of gun killed Alexander Hamilton, who hadn't
been killed in the time he was viewing Earth.
OPINIONS:
=========
Trelane appears to be an earlier version of the ever-popular "Q" character
from "Star Trek: The Next Generation".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
134 A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Robert Hamner and Gene L. Coon
STORY: Robert Hammer
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Gene Lyons
David Opatoshu
Robert Sampson
Barbara Babcock
Miko Mayama
David L. Ross
Sean Kenney
AIRED: February 23, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .350
Usenet rating: .598
QUOTES:
=======
- "Sensor readings just shot off the scale." --Ensign DePaul
- "There is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder." --Spock
A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise and her crew are declared casualties in an interplanetary
war that has been going on for 500 years and is entirely simulated by
computers. Kirk learns this after ignoring a code 710 (like a complete
dweeb) and approaching the planet anyway. By entering the airspace of the
planet, the Enterprise is a valid target and is "hit" by a computer
simulated missile. The crew must follow the other 126,520 casualties into
the disintegration chambers or the two planets will have a full-scale REAL
war. Kirk refuses in the hopes that the planets would rather talk peace
than fight a non-simulated war.
FACTS:
======
- The USS Valiant was lost.
- Code 7 means to stay away.
- Star cluster NGC-321.
- Scotty defies Star Fleet Command.
- The Federation diplomat is the main dork this week, with an assist by
Kirk.
- The onboard ambassador and Kirk split the honor of being this week's
dork, the former for his idiotic actions ("of course we will lower the
shields, as a sign of friendship") and the latter for ignoring the code
seven in the first place.
- General Order 24 (toast the planet if I don't get back to you).
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
136 THAT WHICH SURVIVES
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas
STORY: Dorothy C. "Michael Richards" Fontana
DIRECTOR: Herb Wallerstein
GUESTS: Lee Meriwether
Arthur Batanides
Naomi Pollack
AIRED: January 24, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .250
Usenet rating: .395
QUOTES:
=======
- "I have come for you." --Bimbo
- "I'll sit on the engines..." --Scotty
- "My name is 'NotImportant', yours is 'Watkins'." --Bimbo
- "This thing is going to blow up, and there's nothing in this universe
that can stop it!" --???
THAT WHICH SURVIVES
PLOT:
=====
Three Kalandan girls (replicas of Losira) have the death-touch and threaten
the landing party of three. Each girl is programmed to come after one of
the landing party. They are controlled by a cube-shaped computer on the
ceiling.
FACTS:
======
- Phasers heated to 8000 degrees Celsius.
OPINIONS:
=========
Plot dragged out too long.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
138 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
STORY: Jerry "Nathan Butler" Sohl and Dorothy C. Fontana
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: Jill Ireland (Leila Kalomi)
Frank Overton
Grant Woods
Dick Scotter
AIRED: March 2, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .750
Usenet rating: .766
QUOTES:
=======
- "You never told me if you had another name." --Blonde "You couldn't
pronounce it." --Spock
- "That cloud looks like a dragon on Berengaria Seven." --Spock
- "Your father was a computer and your mother was an encyclopedia."
--Kirk "My father is an mbassador and my mother is a teacher from
Earth." --Spock
- "Striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offense." --Spock "If
we're both in the brig, who'll build the subsonic transmitter?" --Kirk
- "Even with automatic pilot, I can not pilot it alone." --Kirk "What a
stupid concept!" --HACK-MAN
- "Poetry, Captain. Non-regulation." --Spock
- "For the first time in my life - I was happy." --Spock
THIS SIDE OF PARADISE
PLOT:
=====
Strange spores cause the entire crew of the Enterprise to mutiny and beam
down to a planet where all work is done in unity and contentment, where
sickness and hatred do not exist. Gee, what an original thought, eh Gene?.
If Kirk beams down, they will all be stranded and be unable to beam back
up, since the idiots who designed the ship made a requirement that someone
be aboard to operate the transporters (the first person to board must have
used a shuttlecraft, eh?).
Spock finds a blonde he met on Earth six years ago (Leila) and falls in
love with her. Kirk is shot by the spores and is ready to beam down, but
because of his superior dedication to the ship (or some such bogus
handwaving) he snaps out of it. He calls Spock to say he will be coming
down, but needs a hand with carrying down some supplies. Kirk then insults
and strikes Spock in order to get HIS emotions riled to shake the spell of
the spores.
FACTS:
======
- Spock's mother was a teacher on Earth.
- Spock show emotions.
OPINIONS:
=========
A really enjoyable episode. One of the few that can make this claim
without a lot of action or humor.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
140 THE THOLIAN WEB
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Judy Burns and Chet Richards
DIRECTOR: Ralph Senensky
GUESTS: None
AIRED: November 15, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .445
Usenet rating: .632
QUOTES:
=======
"Space itself is breaking up." --???
THE THOLIAN WEB
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is sent to investigate the disappearance of he USS Defiant,
which has been missing for three weeks. The Defiant is found adrift in an
unexplored quardant of space, trapped between universes, and her crew
murdered each other because of the rip in space. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and
Chekov beam to the fading ship in space suits. The transporter is weak, so
all but Kirk beam back, trapping Kirk in hyperspace.
Meanwhile, the Tholians arrive (at velocity 0.15c) and ask the crew to
leave their territory. Spock, in command, says they are rescuing their
captain from a rip in space, and that they will leave in 132 minutes. The
Tholian ship disturbed the space, however, causing Kirk not to fade back in
at the appropriate time.
The Tholians, known for their punctuality (even though they are a race
unknown to the Federation), fire upon the Enterprise. Spock shoots back in
self-defense (since they closed off communications). Another Tholian ship
arrives and the two very slowly put up a web-like force field. Meanwhile,
the crew of the Enterprise is becoming murderous (due to the strange
physical properties of the area surrounding the rift), McCoy is flaming
about Spock wanting command of the Enterprise.
Spock declares Kirk dead. Kirk appears in Uhura's mirror, in engineering,
then on the bridge. Spock zooms out 2.72 parsecs (with Kirk (almost out of
oxygen) in the transporter beam apparently - I'll bet his stomach loved
that). Spock and McCoy both LIE to Kirk and say that they didn't listen to
his last orders. Spock says there are (not "there might be") several
universes in parallel.
FACTS:
======
- Won an Emmy for "Best Special Effects".
- Nominated for "Special Classification of Outstanding Individual
Achievement" Emmy in 68-69 (Special Photographic Effects) (Van Der Veer
Photo Effects, Howard A. Anderson Company, The Westheimer Company, and
Cinema Research).
- The name of the Tholian commander who first attacks the Enterprise
after Kirk is lost is Commander Loskene.
- Spock has personality problems when in command (see also "Galileo
Seven").
OPINIONS:
=========
The plot dragged a bit (a la Twilight Zone), but was enjoyable.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
142 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
DIRECTOR: Michael O'Herlihy
GUESTS: Roger Perry (Fighter Pilot?)
Hal Lynch
Ed Peck
Richard Merrifield
John Winston
AIRED: January 26, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .745
Usenet rating: .658
QUOTES:
=======
- "I made an error in my computations." --Spock "This may be an historic
occasion." --McCoy
- "Warp eight... off the scale." --Sulu
- "Gravity [down to] .8." --Voice in background.
TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY
PLOT:
=====
On their way to Starbase 9, the Enterprise is accidentally flung back (by a
black star that pulled them in) to the year 1967 (isn't it odd how they
always end up in the 1960s?), and through space to Earth (Spock does some
hand-waving to explain that they were headed sort of Earth-ward at the
time), where they must take desperate measures in an attempt to avoid
changing history. The Enterprise used up all of its power; propelled away
fast.
A ground radar crew spots the Enterprise and sends up a US Air Force pilot,
who sees the ship and reports it as a UFO. The plane starts breaking up
when the Enterprise puts a tractor beam on it, so Kirk has the pilot beamed
aboard.
To get back to the present, the crew slingshot around the sun. They beam
back the USAF Captain to his plane just as he was being beamed out - I
might be convinced to buy that, but the guy with the green beret hat is
beamed into his other body long before he was beamed away (he was still
standing in the hallway) - how do they explain the fact that his mass just
doubled?
FACTS:
======
- The Earth has no clouds!
- Kirk mentions that there are "12 like her in the Fleet" (referring to
the Enterprise).
- The Enterprise passes many stars on its journey between the Earth and
the sun!
- The USAF Captain's (unborn) son (Col Shawn Jeffrey Christopher) heads
the first Earth Saturn mission.
- Only episode which shows the Enterprise from the bottom?
- Spock uses the Vulcan Mind Meld to erase Captain Christopher's memories
of the ship.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
144 THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: David Gerrold
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: William Schallert
William Campbell (Klingon Commander Koloth)
Stanley Adams
Whit Bissell
Michael Pataki
Charlie Brill
Ed Reimers
Guy Raymond
Paul Bradley
David L. Ross
AIRED: December 29, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .993
Usenet rating: .818
QUOTES:
=======
- "Storage compartments? Storage compartments?" --Kirk
- "Wheat? So what?" --Kirk
- "Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with
delusions of godhood, but he's not soft." --Klingon first officer
- "He called you a tin-plated, overbearing dictator with delusions of God-
hood!" --Scotty "And *that's* when you hit him!" --Kirk "Ah, no, sir.
We're big enough to take a FEW insults!" --Scotty
- "Scotty, you're confined to quarters." --Kirk "Yes, sir. *Thank you*,
sir! That'll give m e a chance to catch up on me technical journals!"
--Scotty
- "... where [they'll] be no tribble at all." --Scotty
- "Extremely [little] joke, Ensign." --Spock
- "On the contrary, sir...it is *you* I take lightly." --Kirk
- "[Scotch] was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad." --Chekov
THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES
PLOT:
=====
Kirk must put up with Federation bureaucrats and hoards of hungry tribbles,
while protecting a shipment of quadrotriticale (wheat) against Klingon
sabotage.
The tribbles get in through the air vents and eat all the grain from the
storage compartments.
There was one Klingon agent who was (apparently) modified to pass as a
human.
FACTS:
======
- Tribbles multiply quickly.
- Tribbles have no mouths.
- Tribbles hate Klingons.
- It will take 17.9 years to dispose of all the tribbles on the base (but
it took practically no time to get all the fuzzballs off the ship).
OPINIONS:
=========
The best of the "campy" episodes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
146 TURNABOUT INTRUDER
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Arthur Singer
STORY: Gene Roddenberry
DIRECTOR: Herb Wallerstein
GUESTS: Sandra Smith (Janet Lester)
Harry Landers (Dr. Coleman)
AIRED: March 28, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .430
Usenet rating: .460
QUOTES:
=======
- "Nothing I've ever encountered." --Dr. Coleman (about radiation poison-
ing)
- "To my knowledge, such total transfer has never been completed success-
fully in this galaxy." --Spock
TURNABOUT INTRUDER
PLOT:
=====
Kirk's old flame (Janice Lester) envies his power and performs mindswap,
then orders Kirk's mind (in her old body) court-martialed. She then orders
Spock (and McCoy and Scotty) court-martialed for mutiny when they question
the decision.
General order four is the only way to execute anyone, and no one violated
it.
FACTS:
======
- This was Shatner's favorite episode because he got to play a woman.
- Spock used mind meld on Janet/Kirk.
OPINIONS:
=========
Shatner makes a good fem, but the PMS scenes are a bit much to take.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
148 THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Dorothy C. Fontana
STORY: Laurence N. Wolfe
DIRECTOR: John Meredyth Lucas
GUESTS: William Marshall (Richard Daystrom)
Barry Russo (Admiral Wesley)
Sean Morgan (Harper)
AIRED: March 8, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .250
Usenet rating: .579
QUOTES:
=======
- "[Unfortunately] there is nothing currently to replace the ship's
surgeon." --Spock. "[If they could, they] wouldn't have to. I'd
resign." --McCoy
- "There are certain things men must do to [remain] men." --Kirk
- "Only a fool would stand in the way of progress." --Kirk
- "You have my psychological profile. Am I afraid of [losing control]?"
--Kirk
- "Why don't you ask James T. Kirk. He's a pretty honest guy." --McCoy
- "What are you doing here Bones?" --Kirk
- "Computers make [efficient and practical] servants, but I do not wish to
serve under them. --Spock
- "This isn't chicken soup. I make a Finibal's Folly [that's known from
here to ___]" --McCoy
- "Do you know the one: 'All I ask is a tall ship...'" --Kirk
- "[It's] not acting logically." --Spock "Do me a favor [Spock, and]
don't say it's fascinating." --McCoy "No, but it is interesting."
--Spock
- "I've been updating that course for hours." --Sulu
- "Pursuing a wild goose." --Spock
- "You are great; I am great." --Daystrom to M5
- "Murder is contrary to the laws of man and God." --M5
- "Daystrom felt that such an act was an offense against the laws of God
and man, and the computer that carried his engrams also believed it."
--Kirk
- "Compassion? That's the one thing no machine ever had. Maybe it's the
one thing that keeps men ahead of them. Care to debate that, Spock?"
--McCoy "No, doctor, I simply maintain that computers are more
efficient than human beings, not better." --Spock
- "It would be most interesting to impress your memory engrams on a
computer, doctor. The resulting torrential flood of illogic would be
most entertaining." --Spock
THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER
PLOT:
=====
Star Fleet Command puts the Enterprise under total control of the m5
multitronic unit, a new computer that can do everything the entire crew can
do, and much faster. (Seeing that this obvious improvement would obviate
the need for any actors, Roddenberry decided to make believe that computers
err more often than humans.)
Kirk is called "Captain Dunsel" by Admiral Wesley (quite out of character
for high officials). A dunsel is a useless piece of machinery.
M5 can run the ship with a crew of 20.
M5 refuses to relinquish control, and starts firing on any ship, manned or
unmanned, friend or foe. M5's creator (Richard Daystrom, who has fallen
from the spotlight of his bright, intelligent youth) also refuses to have
m5 relinquish control.
FACTS:
======
- Commodore Enright.
- Commodore Bob Wesley.
- Wargames.
- Federation ships USS Excalibur, USS Lexington, USS Potemkin and an ore
ship (the Hood?).
- Spock holds an A7 [______] computer [rating], which is why he knows so
much about ___.
- One Enterprise crew dead.
- Daystrom made the duotronic breakthrough when he was [25].
- Full phasers on an unshielded ship only shakes it a little?
- Kirk talks M5 into killing itself.
OPINIONS:
=========
How stupid are all these high-ranking Federation officers?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
150 THE WAY TO EDEN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Arthur Heinemann
STORY: Dorothy C. "Michael Richards" Fontana and Arthur Heinemann
DIRECTOR: David Alexander
GUESTS: Skip Homeier (Doc Sevrin)
Charles Napier (Adam)
Mary-Linda Rapelye (Irina Galliulin)
Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel)
Victor Brandt (Tongo Rad)
Elizabeth Rogers (Lt. Palmer)
Deborah Downey (Girl #1)
Phillis Douglas (Girl #2)
AIRED: February 21, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .775
Usenet rating: .432
QUOTES:
=======
"Power beyond critical. Explosion is imminent." --Spock
THE WAY TO EDEN
PLOT:
=====
A group of space hippies steal the Enterprise (not a hard task to
accomplish, is it?) and search for the legendary planet Eden. Spock jams
on a harp-like instrument with a chick playing backup on a bicycle wheel.
The six hippies, led by Dr Sevrin (waffle ears), had stolen the Space
Cruiser Aurora, and the Enterprise had to enter the Romulan Neutral Zone to
save them.
They call Kirk "Herbert", a person known for his rigid and limited patterns
of thought, but Spock is one with them (since he was unlike the people he
grew up with). Dr. Sevrin was a brilliant man from Tiburon, but now is a
carrier of some disease.
Chekov's old flame from SF Academy (Irina Galliulin) tries to persuade him
to join them. They find Eden (with some help from Spock), but Adam and Doc
Sevrin die as they find out that all the plant life is acidic.
FACTS:
======
- Spock plays a harp-like instrument.
OPINIONS:
=========
One of the more dated episodes, but always good for a laugh.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
152 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Robert Bloch
DIRECTOR: James Goldstone
GUESTS: Michael Strong (Roger Korby)
Sherry Jackson (Andrea)
Ted Cassidy (Ruk)
Majel Barrett (Christine Chapel)
Harry Basch (Brown)
Vince Deadrick (Mathews)
Bud Albright (Rayburn)
AIRED: October 20, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .660
Usenet rating: .498
QUOTES:
=======
- "Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick and tired of your half-breed
interference." -- Kirk
WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF?
PLOT:
=====
Nurse Chapel's long-lost fiance, Roger Korby, turns up in control of a
mechanism capable of producing android replicas of live beings. Kirk is
copied on a horizontal wheel, and Dr. Korby wants to place his android
Kirk in control of the Enterprise. Kirk puts all his thoughts into Vulcan
bigotry as he is being copied, in hopes that the copy will think insulting
Spock is a commonplace occurrence.
Ruk is a smarter android left behind by "the others", but doesn't know how
long he's been around. Mention is made of Kirk's brother George Samuel
Kirk ("Only YOU call him Sam").
FACTS:
======
- Ruk is played by the actor who portrayed Lurch on "The Addams Family"
television show, not to be confused with Lwaxana Troi's servant in "Star
Trek: The Next Generation", who played Lurch in the "Addams Family"
movie.
- Kirk falls for Andrea, an android.
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
154 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Samuel A. Peeples
DIRECTOR: James Goldstone
GUESTS: Gary Lockwood (Gary Mitchell)
Sally Kellerman (Doctor Dehner)
Lloyd Haynes (Alden)
Andrea Dremm (Yeoman Smith)
Paul Carr (Lt. Lee Kelso)
Paul Fix (Doctor Piper)
AIRED: September 22, 1966
HACK-MAN rating: .275
Usenet rating: .638
QUOTES:
=======
- "Irritating? Oh, yes, one of your Earth-emotions." --Spock (smiling way
too much)
- "Gravitation on automatic." --Kirk
- "Gravity is down to .8" --Extra in background
- "Yeah, she's a nova--that one." --Gary Mitchell
- "If I hadn't aimed that little blonde lab technician at you..." --Gary
"I almost married her!" --Kirk
- "I felt for him, too." --Spock "I believe there's some hope for you
after all, Mr. Spock" --Kirk.
- "Morals are for men--not gods." --Gary Mitchell
WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE
PLOT:
=====
In passing through an energy barrier at the edge of the galaxy, some
Enterprise members find their ESP powers greatly heightened, their eyes
glow, and they get god-like powers. Kirk's good friend Gary Mitchell gets
the powers and starts losing respect for Kirk, and eventually tries to kill
him and bury him in the ground. He creates a garden of Eden for himself
and his goddess.
FACTS:
======
- Although this was the third episode aired, it was actually filmed before
the others and was the 2nd pilot made for the show. The first, "The
Cage" was later made into the two-part episode, "The Menagerie".
- Kirk's middle initial is given as "R" (on the tombstone Gary Mitchell
makes).
- They leave the galaxy.
- First episode *filmed*.
- Most of the crew is wearing yellow sweaters.
- It has Sulu, Scotty, and two doctors (a lady who dies and an old fart
who gives *pills* to bring people back to consciousness) but no Uhura,
McCoy, or Chekov.
- Only episode with a microphone attached to the captain's chair which
echoes all over the ship.
- Spock is always shouting.
- Kirk wins at 3-D chess.
- No words at start ("Space...the final...") and no "whooooosh!"
- The SS Valiant has been missing for two centuries.
- Consoles are on *fire*.
- Gary Mitchell reads through half the ship's library in under a day.
- Dr. Dehner recites a poem from 1996.
- They drop Gary on Delta Vega, a planet which is slightly smaller than
the Earth.
- Kirk carries a light phaser cannon that we never see again.
OPINIONS:
=========
I'm glad they got rid of that doctor.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
156 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gilbert Ralston and Gene L. Coon
STORY: Gilbert Ralston
DIRECTOR: Marc Daniels
GUESTS: Michael Forest (Apollo?)
Leslie Parrish (Carolyn Palamas)
John Winston
AIRED: September 22, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .350
Usenet rating: .368
QUOTES:
=======
- "On the other hand, she's a woman. Someday she'll find the right man and
[off she'll go, out of the service|leave Star Fleet]." --McCoy
- "Mr. Sulu, our forward tractor beams, adjust to repel." --Kirk
- "Insults are effective only where emotions are present." --Spock
- "[I am Apollo.]" --Apollo "And I am the Czar of all of Russia."
--Chekov "Mr. Chekov..." --Kirk "Sorry, I haven't met a god before."
--Chekov
- "You seem wise, for a woman." --Apollo
- "Scotty doesn't believe in gods." --McCoy
- "The Captain requires complete information." --Chekov "Spock's contami-
nating this boy, [Jim]." --McCoy
- "He disappeared again, just like the cat in that Russian story."
--Chekov "Russian? Don't you mean American? The Cheshire Cat." --Kirk
"Cheshire? I don't think so. Minsk, perhaps." --Chekov
- "Chekov, you've earned your pay for the week." --Kirk
- "Perhaps I can assist you [with the babe]" --Chekov "How old are you?"
--Kirk "22, sir." --Chekov "Then *I* better handle it." --Kirk
- "Man or woman, it makes no difference, we're both human." --Kirk to babe
WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS
PLOT:
=====
The Enterprise is seized by a giant hand-shaped force field belonging to a
being who claims to be Apollo. Apollo journeyed to Earth 5000 years ago
from Pollux 4 and was worshiped along with the other "gods" by the
populace. Now he requires the worship of the crew for survival.
Enterprise historian Carolyn Palamas falls in love with Apollo, who enjoys
her worshiping him. Kirk must rely on her loyalty to destroy the god and
win their freedom.
FACTS:
======
- When the "hand" grabs the Enterprise, the hull pressure is 1000 GSC and
climbing.
- Pollux 4 is a class M world by starbase 12.
- Apollo is 4 billion years old.
- Apollo only called himself "Apollo" to the landing party; yet Spock (on
the Enterprise) calls him "Apollo" (Spock shouldn't know who the being
is.)
- Uhura is connecting/fusing the bypass circuits under the console (first
time in years she's had to do anything like that).
- Spock calls her "Miss" Uhura.
- Scotty falls for Carolyn.
- Scotty dies.
- Chekov is 22 years old.
- M-rays (or was this in Catspaw?)
OPINIONS:
=========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
158 WHOM GODS DESTROY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Lee Erwin
STORY: Jerry Sohl & Lee Erwin
DIRECTOR: Herb Wallerstein
GUESTS: Yvonne Craig (Marta)
Steve Ihnat (Garth?)
Key Luke
Richard Geary
Gary Downey
AIRED: January 3, 1969
HACK-MAN rating: .665
Usenet rating: .547
QUOTES:
=======
WHOM GODS DESTROY
PLOT:
=====
Captain Garth, the insane polymorph, takes over the penal planet where he
was being treated. He is a shape-changing psychopath on an insane asylum
planet which is protected by force field. He changes into an official of
the institute and also James Kirk in an attempt to get aboard the
Enterprise and escape from the planet. Kirk set up a code to be used
before transporting up, based on 3-D chess. Spock must choose which is the
imposter Kirk and stun him.
FACTS:
======
- Password is "Queen to queen's level three". The correct response is
"Queen to king's level one".
- Kirk claims that there are an infinite number of responses to the chess
move (which is, of course, an incorrect statement).
- Marta, the loopy Orion girl, is played by the actress that played
Batgirl in the Campy "Batman" TV series.
- Andorian.
OPINIONS:
=========
Was there any reason why Spock couldn't have stunned *both* Kirks and
decided which was the imposter later? Other than this point, the episode
was quite enjoyable.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
160 WINK OF AN EYE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Gene L. "Lee Cronin" Coon
DIRECTOR: Jud Taylor
GUESTS: Kathie Brown (Deela)
Jason Evers
Eric Holland
Geoffrey Binney
AIRED: November 29, 1968
HACK-MAN rating: .870
Usenet rating: .544
QUOTES:
=======
WINK OF AN EYE
PLOT:
=====
The last survivors of a race of fast people steal the Enterprise. All the
crew hear is an occasional buzzing sound when these aliens talk. Kirk is
sped up when his coffee is spiked by one of the aliens. Kirk leaves a
message on a tape and leaves it where the crew will eventually find it. At
the end, Spock speeds himself up and makes repairs to the ship.
FACTS:
======
- This is the episode where we see Kirk pulling on his boots after (what
we are supposed to assume is) a roll in the hay with the Deela bimbo.
- Another in a long list of episode where they are handed a great techno-
logical breakthrough which could be used to get them out of a jam in a
later episode, but apparently are pretending never existed (and if it's
too dangerous to use, because of the possibility of "damage", then how
come they let Spock use it to make the repairs?)
OPINIONS:
=========
My bogometer went off the scale on this episode. (1) Spock wouldn't have
had time to play the tape and walk all over the Enterprise in the few
seconds of time that elapsed. (2) The fast folks can duck a phaser bolt?
(3) the phaser bolt doesn't blow a hole in the wall of the ship? (4) They
completely ignored the T-squared effect of apparent gravity.
It was, nonetheless, an exceptional episode from a imaginative and new
idea, despite the plethora of logic flaws.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
162 WOLF IN THE FOLD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
WRITER: Robert Bloch
DIRECTOR: Joseph Pevney
GUESTS: Joh[n?] Fiedler
Charles Macauley
Pilar Seurat
Joseph Bernard,
Charles Dierkop
Judy McConnell
Virginia Ladridge
Judy Sherven
Tania Lemani
AIRED: December 22, 1967
HACK-MAN rating: .785
Usenet rating: .566
QUOTES:
=======
- "With an armful of this stuff I wouldn 't be afraid of a supernova."
--Sulu
- "Pi is a transcendental figure without resolution." --Spock
- "[you'll all die horribly! die, die,] everybody die, ah ha ha ha ha!"
--Jack T. Ripper
WOLF IN THE FOLD
PLOT:
=====
Scotty blacks out and appears to be the only logical suspect in a series of
bizarre murders on the peaceful planet Argilias. It turns out to be an
entity who has traveled to many worlds killing lots of people. It started
out on Earth as Jack the Ripper, and spread out into the galaxy when the
Earth-people did. He is now blamed for many mass murders, including
Earth's 1974 USS ____, 2105 Martian Colony murders, ____ Rigel murders,
etc.
When they figure out who he is, Jack the Ripper non-physically enters the
computer. McCoy gives "happy shots" to the entire crew (except Spock and
Kirk, but for some reason Jack the Ripper doesn't enter their bodies) to
keep Jack from possessing their bodies.
Spock has the computer compute to the last digit of pi (which of course, it
devotes all of its memory to).
FACTS:
======
- The names that the entity was referred to by were Jack the Ripper,
Baratis, Redjac, Kesla, Mr. Hengist.
- Scotty's serial number is #SE197514.
- No Uhura.
- Scotty falls for Kara, the belly dancer.
- The timid guy from the old "Bob Newhart" show plays Jack the Ripper.
OPINIONS:
=========
It has its moments.
The first viewing will keep you guessing. There's enough action and plot
development that requires deductive reasoning to make this a very good
episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
164 EPISODE LIST BY AIR DATE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIRST SEASON
September 8, 1966 THE MAN TRAP
September 15, 1966 CHARLIE X
September 22, 1966 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE
September 29, 1966 THE NAKED TIME
October 6, 1966 THE ENEMY WITHIN
October 13, 1966 MUDD'S WOMEN
October 20, 1966 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF?
October 27, 1966 MIRI
November 3, 1966 DAGGER OF THE MIND
November 10, 1966 THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER
November 17, 1966 THE MENAGERIE (part I)
November 24, 1966 THE MENAGERIE (part II)
December 8, 1966 THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING
December 15, 1966 BALANCE OF TERROR
December 29, 1966 SHORE LEAVE
January 5, 1967 GALILEO SEVEN
January 12, 1967 THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS
January 19, 1967 ARENA
January 26, 1967 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY
February 2, 1967 COURT-MARTIAL
February 9, 1967 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS
February 16, 1967 SPACE SEED
February 23, 1967 A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON
March 2, 1967 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE
March 9, 1967 THE DEVIL IN THE DARK
March 23, 1967 ERRAND OF MERCY
March 30, 1967 THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR
April 6, 1967 THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER
April 13, 1967 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE!
SECOND SEASON
September 15, 1967 AMOK TIME
September 22, 1967 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS
September 29, 1967 THE CHANGELING
October 6, 1967 MIRROR, MIRROR
October 13, 1967 THE APPLE
October 20, 1967 THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE
October 27, 1967 CATSPAW
November 3, 1967 I, MUDD
November 10, 1967 METAMORPHOSIS
November 17, 1967 JOURNEY TO BABEL
December 8, 1967 THE DEADLY YEARS
December 15, 1967 OBSESSION
December 22, 1967 WOLF IN THE FOLD
December 29, 1967 THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES
January 5, 1968 THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION
January 12, 1968 A PIECE OF THE ACTION
January 19, 1968 THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME
February 2, 1968 A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR
February 9, 1968 RETURN TO TOMORROW
February 16, 1968 PATTERNS OF FORCE
February 23, 1968 BY ANY OTHER NAME
March 1, 1968 THE OMEGA GLORY
March 8, 1968 THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER
March 15, 1968 BREAD AND CIRCUSES
March 22, 1968 FRIDAY'S CHILD
March 29, 1968 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH
THIRD SEASON
September 20, 1968 SPOCK'S BRAIN
September 27, 1968 THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT
October 4, 1968 THE PARADISE SYNDROME
October 11, 1968 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD
October 18, 1968 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY?
October 25, 1968 SPECTRE OF THE GUN
November 1, 1968 DAY OF THE DOVE
November 8, 1968 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY
November 15, 1968 THE THOLIAN WEB
November 22, 1968 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN
November 29, 1968 WINK OF AN EYE
December 6, 1968 THE EMPATH
December 20, 1968 ELAAN OF TROYIUS
January 3, 1969 WHOM GODS DESTROY
January 10, 1969 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD
January 17, 1969 THE MARK OF GIDEON
January 24, 1969 THAT WHICH SURVIVES
January 31, 1969 THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR
February 14, 1969 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH
February 21, 1969 THE WAY TO EDEN
February 28, 1969 THE CLOUD MINDERS
March 7, 1969 THE SAVAGE CURTAIN
March 14, 1969 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS
March 28, 1969 TURNABOUT INTRUDER (possibly June 3, 1969)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
166 EPISODE LIST BY HACKMAN RATING
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rating Episode Name
------ -------------------------------------------------------------------
.010 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD (O)
.015 CHARLIE X (O)
.090 MARK OF GIDEON, THE (O)
.100 ALTERNATIVE FACTOR, THE (O)
.110 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD (O)
.205 ELAAN OF TROYIUS (O)
.210 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? (O)
.250 DEVIL IN THE DARK (O)
.250 EMPATH, THE (O)
.250 SPOCK'S BRAIN (O)
.250 RETURN TO TOMORROW (O)
.250 THAT WHICH SURVIVES (O)
.250 ULTIMATE COMPUTER, THE (O)
.275 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE (O)
.300 LIGHTS OF ZETAR, THE (O)
.312 MIRI (O)
.313 DOOMSDAY MACHINE, THE (O)
.325 CAGE, THE (O)
.325 COURT-MARTIAL (O)
.350 CLOUD MINDERS, THE (O)
.350 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS (O)
.350 TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON, A (O)
.360 MAN TRAP, THE (O)
.420 GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION, THE (O)
.425 OBSESSION (O)
.430 TURNABOUT INTRUDER (O)
.430 FRIDAY'S CHILD (O)
.440 APPLE, THE (O)
.440 BALANCE OF TERROR (O)
.440 CATSPAW (O)
.440 CORBOMITE MANEUVER, THE (O)
.440 OMEGA GLORY, THE (O)
.445 THOLIAN WEB, THE (O)
.450 METAMORPHOSIS (O)
.455 MUDD'S WOMEN (O)
.475 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY (O)
Rating Episode Name
------ -------------------------------------------------------------------
.500 GALILEO SEVEN (O)
.510 CONSCIENCE OF THE KING, THE (O)
.550 NAKED TIME, THE (O)
.550 PRIVATE LITTLE WAR, A (O)
.560 CHANGELING, THE (O)
.570 MENAGERIE, THE PART 1 (O)
.570 MENAGERIE, THE PART 2 (O)
.640 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN (O)
.650 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH (O)
.650 DEADLY YEARS, THE (O)
.650 ENEMY WITHIN, THE (O)
.660 ARENA (O)
.660 SQUIRE OF GOTHOS, THE (O)
.660 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? (O)
.660 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH (O)
.665 ERRAND OF MERCY (O)
.670 ENTERPRISE INCIDENT, THE (O)
.670 JOURNEY TO BABEL (O)
.720 WHOM GODS DESTROY (O)
.725 SHORE LEAVE (O)
.730 BREAD AND CIRCUSES (O)
.740 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS (O)
.750 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE (O)
.770 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS (O)
.775 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! (O)
.775 WAY TO EDEN, THE (O)
.778 I, MUDD (O)
.780 AMOK TIME (O)
.780 DAGGER OF THE MIND (O)
.785 WOLF IN THE FOLD (O)
.830 BY ANY OTHER NAME (O)
.835 SPECTRE OF THE GUN (O)
.840 SAVAGE CURTAIN, THE (O)
.845 PIECE OF THE ACTION, A (O)
.850 MIRROR, MIRROR (O)
.860 PATTERNS OF FORCE (O)
.870 WINK OF AN EYE (O)
.895 DAY OF THE DOVE (O)
.992 CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER, THE (O)
.993 TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES, THE (O)
.996 PARADISE SYNDROME, THE (O)
.998 SPACE SEED (O)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
168 EPISODE LIST BY USENET RATING
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
## is the number of Useet readers that sent in votes
Rating is on a zero to one scale, one being best.
Votes can be sent to ottoh3@cfsmo.honeywell.com in the form:
vote .275 MIRI (O)
Avg
Rating ## Episode Name
------ -- -----------------------------------------------------------------
0.169 35 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD (O)
0.254 39 SPOCK'S BRAIN (O)
0.323 32 APPLE, THE (O)
0.351 25 LIGHTS OF ZETAR, THE (O)
0.351 27 OMEGA GLORY, THE (O)
0.360 23 MARK OF GIDEON, THE (O)
0.369 37 CHARLIE X (O)
0.375 31 WAY TO EDEN, THE (O)
0.380 26 ALTERNATIVE FACTOR, THE (O)
0.407 30 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN (O)
0.410 32 GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION, THE (O)
0.413 34 CATSPAW (O)
0.422 31 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD (O)
0.429 34 EMPATH, THE (O)
0.430 31 CLOUD MINDERS, THE (O)
0.438 30 TURNABOUT INTRUDER (O)
0.441 31 ELAAN OF TROYIUS (O)
0.444 23 WHOM GODS DESTROY (O)
0.453 36 MIRI (O)
0.467 29 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? (O)
0.477 35 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS (O)
0.479 28 BY ANY OTHER NAME (O)
0.481 32 SPECTRE OF THE GUN (O)
0.482 29 MAN TRAP, THE (O)
0.489 28 PRIVATE LITTLE WAR, A (O)
0.490 25 THAT WHICH SURVIVES (O)
0.495 26 SAVAGE CURTAIN, THE (O)
0.495 32 BREAD AND CIRCUSES (O)
Avg
Rating ## Episode Name
------ -- -----------------------------------------------------------------
0.514 29 DAGGER OF THE MIND (O)
0.531 28 FRIDAY'S CHILD (O)
0.531 28 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! (O)
0.534 26 METAMORPHOSIS (O)
0.535 30 WINK OF AN EYE (O)
0.536 26 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? (O)
0.541 36 SQUIRE OF GOTHOS, THE (O)
0.542 37 MUDD'S WOMEN (O)
0.558 30 CONSCIENCE OF THE KING, THE (O)
0.558 34 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY (O)
0.566 29 CHANGELING, THE (O)
0.573 29 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS (O)
0.578 29 ENEMY WITHIN, THE (O)
0.584 26 PATTERNS OF FORCE (O)
0.586 36 CORBOMITE MANEUVER, THE (O)
0.596 31 WOLF IN THE FOLD (O)
0.600 29 DEADLY YEARS, THE (O)
0.611 26 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH (O)
0.612 35 GALILEO SEVEN (O)
0.618 33 ARENA (O)
0.618 37 COURT-MARTIAL (O)
0.626 35 PARADISE SYNDROME, THE (O)
0.630 30 DAY OF THE DOVE (O)
0.639 26 RETURN TO TOMORROW (O)
0.642 27 OBSESSION (O)
0.647 33 I, MUDD (O)
0.653 29 TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON, A (O)
0.658 33 ULTIMATE COMPUTER, THE (O)
0.663 35 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH (O)
0.665 31 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS (O)
0.670 30 SHORE LEAVE (O)
0.673 32 CAGE, THE (O)
0.675 26 IMMUNITY SYNDROME, THE (O)
0.677 30 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY (O)
0.683 35 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE (O)
0.691 32 THOLIAN WEB, THE (O)
0.692 33 NAKED TIME, THE (O)
0.696 26 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE (O)
0.710 35 MENAGERIE, THE PART 2 (O)
0.712 38 DEVIL IN THE DARK (O)
0.731 35 MENAGERIE, THE PART 1 (O)
0.754 30 ERRAND OF MERCY (O)
0.757 34 JOURNEY TO BABEL (O)
0.759 40 DOOMSDAY MACHINE, THE (O)
0.770 33 ENTERPRISE INCIDENT, THE (O)
0.770 39 AMOK TIME (O)
0.774 38 SPACE SEED (O)
0.782 37 PIECE OF THE ACTION, A (O)
0.821 36 TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES, THE (O)
0.830 37 MIRROR, MIRROR (O)
0.840 37 BALANCE OF TERROR (O)
0.883 44 CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER, THE (O)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
170 MISC INFORMATION
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE OPENING:
============
The first two seasons had Shatner's voice-over during the opening credits
as:
"Space... the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship
Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek
out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone
before."
For the third season, it was changed to:
"Space... a final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship
Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek
out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone
before."
For "The Cage", they didn't have any voice-over, just the music.
NAMES:
======
It is generally agreed that Kirk's full name is "James Tiberius Kirk". It
was only given as "James T. Kirk" in TOS, the "Tiberius" didn't come
around until TAS ("Bem") and the novels. In "Where No Man Has Gone
Before", Gary Mitchell makes a gravestone for Kirk that says "James R.
Kirk", apparently before Gene had settled on a middle name.
Spock's other name (you couldn't pronounce it, as he told the blonde in
"This Side of Paradise") isn't given in the television series or the film
series. It is given in one or more of the books if you care to believe
them. According to the Officer's Manual, it is Xtmprszntwlfd (pronounced
with six syllables).
McCoy's middle initial is given in "Friday's Child" and the film series as
"H". Some novels have it as "H", others as "T". Geoffrey Mandel's
Officer's Manual lists his middle name as Horatio.
As a general rule, Vulcan males have five-letter names starting with "S"
and ending with "K" (Spock, Sybok, Sarek, etc.) in honor of Surak, and
Vulcan females have names starting with "T'" (T'Pau, T'Pring, etc.). The
explanations for Saavik are range from "she's part Romulan, so the naming
convention didn't hold" to "Her name is T'Saavik, but the "T'S" is too hard
to pronounce" to "the Romulans deliberately gave her a male name, as an
insult".
Klingon names seem to lean toward starting with a "K". One novel asserts
that this rule actually applies only to high-ranking officers, and one of
the Klingon characters received a battlefield promotion. His companions
implicitly knew that his name was now K____ rather than V____.
Other names from Geoffrey Mandel's Officer Manual: Montgomery Edward
Scott, Itaka Sulu (though George prefers Walter and Gene and some novels
call him Hikaru) , Upenda Uhura (some sources say Nyota), Pavel Andreievich
Chekov (also stated as such in "The Way to Eden"), and Christopher Robin
Pike.
SPEED:
======
The fastest the original Enterprise has gone (not counting "off the scale")
was 14.1 in "That Which Survives". For TOS, speed is (warp ^ 3) * c, which
yields:
warp c
---- ----
1 1
2 8
3 27
4 64
5 125
6 216
7 343
8 512
9 729
10 1000
11 1331
12 1728
13 2197
14.1 2803.221
STARDATES, YEARS, AGES, ETC.:
=============================
In TOS the stardates ranged from 1513 (Man Trap) to 5928 (Turnabout
Intruder). At this time Gene had intended for stardates to be based on
Julian dates modulo 10000, with one stardate being 24 hours in length.
There are numerous examples where this is false. Some of the most blatant
are The Immunity Syndrome (where a quick calculation shows that one
stardate is less than 2.5 hours) and Requiem for Methuselah (where one
stardate figures out to be about 960 hours). There are a few episodes
where the stardates actually decrease during the show. See also the
numerous timelines that get posted to the rec.arts.startrek newsgroup on
Usenet.
1992-1997 Eugenics Wars (according to Off Manual/TMP novel)
1993-1996 Eugenics War (according to TOS "Space Seed")
2018 Last use of sleeper ships (according to Space Seed)
2031-2039 Clone Wars (according to Off Manual (80)/TMP novel)
2035 US gets 52nd state (according to TNG "The Royale")
2047 Mind Control Revolt (according to Off Manual/TMP novel)
2049 First Kzinti Invasion of Earth (according to Off Manual)
2064 Kzinti Invasions Halt (according to Off Manual)
2079 All United Earth "nonsense" abolished (according to TNG
"Encounter at Farpoint")
The year in TOS is somewhere between 2260 and 2286.
The Officer's Manual says TMP took place in 2265.
The year on a bottle of Romulan Ale is given in TOS "The Wrath of
Khan" as 2283(?)
Khan was marooned for 15 years at the time of ST2.
TNG is 93-100 years after TOS, and 78-79 years after TMP.
TOS "Ballentine Concordance (1976)": Gives McCoy's age as 45.
TOS "Who Mourns for Adonais": Chekov gives his age as 22.
TOS "The Deadly Years": Kirk's age is given as 34.
TNG "The Neutral Zone": Data gives the year as 2364.
TNG "Encounter at Farpoint": McCoy's age is given as 137.
TOS "Journey to Babel": Sarek's age is given as 102.437.
TNG "Sarek": Sarek's age is given as 202.
TNG "The Schizoid Man": Wes said "Data, chronologically, you're not
much older than I am."
TNG "DataLore": Data says he was found 26 years ago.
TNG "Datalore": Data details exactly how many years he spent at the
Academy, how many as an ensign, etc. Counting backwards from
stardate 41xxx.x would give his grad date.
TNG "Encounter at Farpoint": Data graduated SFA in the class of '78
with Honors in Dextral Biology and Probability Mechanics.
TNG "Encounter at Farpoint": The Post-Atomic Age started in 2078.
TNG "Encounter at Farpoint" (and the Officers Manual): the New United
Nations was formed in 2036 (the Officers Manual says this
happened during the Clone Wars).
Kirk was born in the year 2228 in Riverside, Iowa, where a statue of
him has been erected.
The book "The Final Reflection" (non-canon, but who really cares) puts
the lifespan of a Klingon at about 40 years (Terran). Worf
would be about 15, by this reckoning.
William Shatner was born on March 22, 1931
Leonard Nimoy was born on March 26, 1931.
DeForest Kelley was born on Jan 20, 1920
SNAFUs:
======
"Space Seed": As Kirk is bashing in Khan's glass coffin, his phaser falls
off his belt. McCoy keeps looking down at it, like he's wondering when
they're going to yell 'cut' so they can re-shoot the scene. They never did
re-shoot because they didn't want to invest in more glass.
"Operation: Annihilate!": In a well-known ST blooper, the amoeba-creature
accidentally hits Spock's rear end instead of his back.
"Court-Martial": Kirk says "Gentlemen, this computer has an auditory
sensor. It can, in effect, hear sounds. By installing a booster we can
increase that capability on the order of one to the fourth power" (which
the writers seemed to think sounded more impressive than "one") :-) (and we
just have to assume that the voices and other ship noises were masked out
like the heartbeats were)
"The Squire of Gothos": Trelane sees Earth history 900 years late, but
since he talks of Alexander Hamilton's death (1804) and of how he admires
Napoleon (whose reign started in 1804). This would put the episode
sometime just after 2704. This is more than four centuries too late.
ST2:TWoK: When Khan comforts his fallen comrade (the guy with the blond
hair) you can see that guy closed his eyes even though he is "dead".
WHAT ARE WE:
============
Trekkie: A groupie fan. Someone who wears Spock ears and thinks that
makes them important. Asks questions like "what did you have for breakfast
on the Tuesday when you shot scene 46a of episode 5?" The most die-hard
fan, who lives, eats, and breathes Star Trek. Term originated in the late
1960s.
Trekker: A fan who is interested in the show and the idea of Star Trek,
but doesn't let it interfere with his/her life. This is apparently being
added to an upcoming edition of Webster's Dictionary. Term came into
popularity in the 1970s when the press gave "Trekkie" a bad name.
trekker: (with a small "t") A person who travels vast distances.
Trekologist: A fan who enjoys collecting Star Trek technical literature
and trying to logically and rationally explain continuity errors in the
show.
Treknician: A fan who enjoys collecting data (and debating with others) on
the technical aspect of Star Trek (warp technology, transporter technology,
etc.).
CREW BACKGROUNDS:
=================
James Tiberius Kirk is from Riverside, Iowa; he was married in "Paradise
Syndrome", and is now a widower. He was also in love (if he knows the
meaning of the word) with someone named "Ruth" ("Shore Leave"), and
mentioned that he almost married that cute little blonde lab technician
that Gary Mitchell steered Kirk's way ("Where No Man Has Gone Before")
which some have guessed to be none other than Carol Marcus. See also the
"Love Interests" monthly posting in rec.arts.startrek for further details.
Leonard McCoy was in love with someone named "Nancy", whom the salt-sucker
takes the form of in "The Man Trap". They were going to mention in one
episode that he had been married with a daughter named Joanna, but it never
made it on film.
Chekov's ex-girlfriend (Irina Galliulin) is seen in "The Way to Eden".
(Chekov wore a Beatle wig for the first four episodes he filmed:
"Catspaw", "Friday's Child", "Amok Time" and "Who Mourns for Adonais")
UNTELEVISED TOS EPISODES:
=========================
The Cage
He Has Walked Among Us (unfilmed)
Paleface
(other titles I can't remember)
"Patterns of Force" was never shown in Germany.
A black and white original of "The Cage" was pieced back together with the
color clips stolen for "The Menagerie" which has since been televised.
Just before the premier of TNG, Paramount "found" a copy of "The Cage"
which was all in color (which they then televised). It is marred by
drastic changes in the Talosians' voices in mid-sentence, otherwise it is
fun to watch (along with a grinning, shouting Spock). The color version
they show now has been cut down to an hour and has Spock's famous "grinning
at the singing plants" scene removed. Sigh.
Yes, "Assignment Earth" was indeed a pilot that never got off the ground.
One of a few. Gene wanted to create some more shows. The reference for
this is in the book The Making of Star Trek, (the white cover, not the
silver one).
The Great Bird was involved with pilots for three different new TV series
in the early seventies:
Three different pilots were apparently shot for one of the series, not
unlike the series of pilots that had to be shot to get "Star Trek" into
production. The first of these was "Genesis II," starring Alex Cord and
Mariette Hartley. In it, Dylan Hunt, a NASA scientist doing research on
suspended animation in an underground lab, gets accidentally buried for a
half millennium or so, and emerges into a post-nuclear-holocaust world.
The story concerns the interaction of two societies, one devoted to Good
Works and the progression of all humankind, and the other to being
Nazi-style lords and masters. "Planet Earth" was the second pilot. Set in
the same future, with minor alterations in background and format, it
starred John Saxon as Dylan Hunt, with folks like Diana Muldaur and Janet
Margolin in major parts. It was just an extended TV episode with some good
stuff in it; a mutant warrior race called the Kriegs (sp? never saw a
script in print) look a *great* deal like retconned Klingons. The third
movie, apparently a sort of a last-ditch attempt to produce a
network-acceptable pilot, was called "Strange New World," and completely
gutted the earlier forms of the series format. It starred John Saxon in
the lead, but no one else I ever heard of, and was such a lox I can
understand why G.R.'s name wasn't on it. It seemed to be three scripts
pasted together, end-to-end.
Roddenberry made two other pilots during this era: "Spectre" and "The
Questor Tapes." "Spectre" was a lovely idea that could have made a great
series, since its format allowed the inclusion of most major horror
fiction, even including H.P. Lovecraft's "elder gods." It starred Robert
Culp and Gig Young, and is a *FUN* movie, if you ever get a chance to see
it. I believe it would have gone series, if made in the last few years,
but at the end of the Nixon era, horror, even humorous horror, was
unacceptable fare to the majority of TV watchers. ("Spectre" deals with an
occult investigator and his M.D. sidekick, who keep getting involved with
nasty superbeings from other times and dimensions; the hero's housekeeper
is a witch, and puts a no-drinking geas on the alcoholic M.D. sidekick in
the opening scenes.)
"The Questor Tapes" starred Robert Foxworth and Mike Farrell, providing
some of the best acting ever seen in a TV SF movie. (Foxworth does a scene
as the robot learning how to use vocal inflection while carrying on a
conversation with the first human it's ever spoken with.) The movie
suffers a bit from the obviousness of the series format it sets up; noble
alien with sidekick, on the run from various governmental authorities,
while trying to learn human emotions and fulfill its mission to help the
human race. A bit of a yawn in print, but it could have been a *good*
series, with decent writing.
Dorothy C. Fontana wrote a novelization of "The Questor Tapes" in
paperback, and you might be able to find it in a used book store. I
believe scripts for at least the best four are available from "Lincoln
Enterprises," or folks like that.
In the still shots during the credits of "The Immunity Syndrome" (and
others) there is a picture of a rubbery-faced man with blank eyes. This is
from "Return to Tomorrow", but wasn't aired with the episode. Sargon was
building android bodies, which were actually actors covered in latex-like
rubbery stuff. They filmed him as he was removing the latex (in the
background, a props man is saying, "You wanted showbiz, you got
showbiz..."). One still of this ended up in the credits. The whole shot
ended up on the blooper reel for that season. As far as I know, it is the
only still which doesn't come from an actual Star Trek scene.
AWARDS:
=======
TOS "The Tholian Web": won an Emmy for "best special effects".
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Drama Series" Emmy in 66-67
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting
Role in a Drama" Emmy in 66-67 (Leonard Nimoy)
TOS: nominated for "Mechanical Special Effects" Emmy in 66-67 (Jim Rugg)
TOS: nominated for "Photographic Special Effects" Emmy in 66-67 (Darrell
Anderson, Linwood G. Dunn, and Joseph Westheimer)
TOS: nominated for "Individual Achievements in Film and Sound Editing" Emmy
in 66-67 (Douglas H. Grindstaff, for Sound Editing)
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Drama Series" Emmy in 67-68
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting
Role in a Drama" Emmy in 67-68 (Leonard Nimoy)
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Achievements in Film Editing" Emmy in 67-68
(Donald R. Rode, for "The Doomsday Machine")
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Continued Performance by an Actor in a
Supporting Role in a Series" Emmy in 68-69 (Leonard Nimoy)
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Art Direction and Scenic
Design" Emmy in 68-69 (Walter M. Jeffries, Jr., Art Director, and John
Dwyer, Set Decorator, for "All Our Yesterdays")
TOS: nominated for "Special Classification of Outstanding Individual
Achievement" Emmy in 68-69 (Special Photographic Effects) (Van Der
Veer Photo Effects, Howard A. Anderson Company, The Westheimer
Company, and Cinema Research, for "The Tholian Web")
TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Film Editing" Emmy in 68-69
(Donald R. Rode, for "Assignment: Earth" (weird, since it was a 67-68
episode))
MISC TRIVIA:
============
James Doohan is missing the middle finger of his right hand. It can be
seen in brief shots (especially in the early episodes). Whenever they
needed to show Scotty's hands (like when he operated the transporter) they
had a stand-in and showed a close-up. ("Cut! All right, bring in the
stunt hands.") Doohan tried to keep his right hand under tables and behind
his back as much as possible.
"The Man Trap": Spock says that Vulcan has no moon (when Uhura mentions
romance). Some of the books say it has one or two moons/sister planets.
Majel Leigh Hudec is Majel Barrett's real name. She took the name Barrett
to fool NBC so they would hire her for Christine Chapel (they never knew
that the blond Majel Barrett was the same person as the brunette whom they
fired as Number One). Some volume of "The Best of Trek" stated that Number
One and Christine Chapel were sisters.
The Klingons and the Romulans had a trade agreement of sorts, for
technology. The Klingons got cloaking devices (according to non-canon
sources), the Romulans got Klingon warships (ref "The Enterprise Incident")
and warp technology (from non-canon sources). Also, there is some
speculation (again, non-canon) that the Bird of Prey as seen in "Star Trek
III: The Search for Spock" and "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home", plus
several times in Star Trek: The Next Generation, was originally a Romulan
design.
"The Paradise Syndrome": "He Has Walked Among Us" and "Paleface" were
combined into "The Paradise Syndrome", according to speculation by Allen
Asherman and David Gerrold. Reportedly, only Gene Coon knew for sure, and
of course he's been dead for about 15 years...
"City on the Edge of Forever": If you want H. Ellison's original script
for "City on the Edge of Forever", look for a book called "Six Science
Fiction Plays", edited by Roger Elwood. It's a paperback, published in
1976 by Pocket Books under the Washington Square Press imprint. It was
distributed in the U.S. and Canada by Simon & Schuster. I have no idea if
it's still in print. If it isn't, check your local library, used book
stores, and the dealer's room at your next convention. There must be
copies out there somewhere. According to Elwood's foreword, this was the
first time Ellison's original uncut script was published. It's preceded by
a ten-page introduction that Ellison wrote especially for this book,
telling his version of the transformation of his script into what was
eventually telecast. The book also contains these scripts:
"Sting!" by Tom Reamy
"Contact Point" by Theodore R Cogswell & George Rae Cogswell
"Stranger with Roses" by John Jakes
"The Mechanical Bride" by Fritz Leiber
"Let Me Hear You Whisper" by Paul Zindel
("Sting!" is a movie screenplay; "The Mechanical Bride" is a teleplay; the
others are stage plays)
According to the Star Trek Compendium:
Kirk: was in 79 TOS episodes
Spock: was in 79 TOS episodes + "The Cage"
McCoy: was in 74 TOS episodes
Uhura: was in 65 TOS episodes
Scotty: was in 61 TOS episodes
Sulu: was in 47 TOS episodes
Chekov: was in 33 TOS episodes
DeForest Kelley mentioned at a con once that TOS cost $200,000 for an
average episode, though records seem to show it as $100,000 to $120,000.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
176 STAR TREK MUSIC
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Both Shatner and Nimoy have attempted to sing and have a few albums out
(from the early 70s, I believe). They are *extremely* bad and only good
for comic relief.
Nichelle Nichols originally sang the tune Uhura was singing in ST5, but The
Powers That Be decided a few days before the film was released to dub in
Hiroshima singing the song.
The band T'Pau (named after the Vulcan priestess from TOS "Amok Time")
claim they are not Star Trek fans; they just liked the name. DJs enjoy
putting a few lines from "Amok Time" during the opening of their song
"Heart and Soul" (McCoy: "Do you know who that is? That's T'Pau!" T'Pau:
"Thees ees da Voolcan heart; thees ees da Voolcan soul...")
The Minneapolis band (now based in New York) "Information Society" likes
putting Star Trek quotes in their songs. "Pure Energy" had Spock's line
"pure energy" (from "Errand of Mercy") in it (and later releases of the
song have McCoy saying something like "we're not out of this yet"), "Think"
has Kirk saying "Think about it" (from "Mirror, Mirror"), "Something in the
Air" has a long scream (apparently taken from TOS), and there's another
song (the name escapes me) that has a line from Spock, Scott, or both.
Adam Nimoy (Leonard's son) is a fan and friend of the group.
There were many parody songs about Star Trek in numerous Mad Magazine
issues.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Theme from Star Trek" (The Original Series)
Lyrics by Gene Roddenberry
Beyond
The rim of the star-light
My love
Is wand'ring in star-flight
I know
He'll find in star-clustered reaches
Love
Strange love a star woman teaches.
I know
His journey ends never
His star trek
Will go on forever.
But tell him
While he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The Goodland" 1:05
from TOS "The Way to Eden"
sung by Adam
Lookin' for the goodland,
Goin' astray.
Don't cry,
Don't cry.
Oh I can't have honey
And I can't have cream
Goin' live not die,
Goin' live not die.
Standin' in the middle of it all one day.
Look at it shining around me and say.
I'm here,
I'm here.
In the goodland,
in the new land,
I'm here.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Heading Out to Eden" 1:35
from TOS "The Way to Eden"
sung by Adam and blonde female friend
Heading out to eden,
Yeah brother.
Heading out to eden,
Yeah brother.
No more trouble
In my body or my mind.
Goin' to live like a king
On whatever I find.
Eat all the fruit
And throw away the rind.
Yeah brother, yeah.
Steppin' out to eden,
Yeah brother.
Steppin' out to eden,
Yeah brother.
No more trouble
In my body or my mind.
Goin' to live like a king
On whatever I find.
Eat all the fruit
And throw away the rind.
Yeah brother.
note: The two verses are separated by dialogue. The first half is sung slow,
about 1:05. The second is sung faster.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey Out There!" 2:35
from TOS "The Way to Eden"
sung by Adam and blonde female friend
I'm talkin' 'bout you,
I'm talkin' 'bout me.
Long time back when the galaxy was new.
Man found out what he had to do.
Found he had to eat and he found he had to drink,
And a long time later he found he had to think.
Yes, think.
[I'm standing here wondering -- What?]
If a man tells another man,
How to mow hay.
He piles up trouble for himself all day.
But all kinds of trouble will come to an end.
When a man tells another man,
Be my friend.
My friend.
[Well what's it going to be?]
There's a mile wide emptiness,
Between you and me.
Let's reach across it,
*On an even sea.*
Someone ought'a take a step,
One way or other.
Let's say goodbye,
Or let's say brother.
Brother!
Brother!
Hey out there...
Hey out there.
Hey out there...
Hey out there.
I see you...
I see you.
I see you...
I see you.
Let's get together and have some fun.
[I don't know how to do it,
But it's gotta be done.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"?"
from TOS "Charlie X"?
sung by Uhura
Now on the Starship Enterprise
There comes a man in Satan's guise
Whose devil ears and devil eyes
Will rip your heart from you ...
And that's why female astronauts
Are overcome and overwrought [some uncertainty about 1st part of this line]
Many a female astronaut...
They know not what to [he'll?] do.
Now from a planet out in space
There comes a lad not commonplace
Oh, seeking out his first embrace
He's saving it for you ...
Oh, Charlie is my darling, my darling, my darling
Charlie's our new darling, he knows not what to do...
[Again, some uncertainty about last part of the last line.
Also, it may "Charlie's our new darling" instead of "is my darling"
in the previous line.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The Friendly Angel Song"
from TOS "And The Children Shall Lead"
sung by The Children
Hail, hail,
Fire and snow.
Call the angel
We will go.
Far away.
For to see.
Friendly Angel
Come to me.
Hail, hail,
Fire and snow.
Call the angel
We must go.
Far to come
Far to see
Friendly Angel
Come to me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Beyond Antares"
from TOS "Conscience of the King"
sung by Uhura
written (I think) by Gene Coon
The skies are green and glowing
Where my heart is,
Where my heart is,
Where the scented lunar flower is growing,
Somewhere beyond the stars,
Beyond Antares.
I'll be back
Though it takes forever.
Forever is just a day.
Forever is just another journey.
Tomorrow I'll stop along the way,
And let the years go fading
Where my heart is,
Where my heart is,
Where my love eternally is waiting,
Somewhere beyond the stars,
Beyond Antares.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
(untitled)
from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
sung by Alexander
Great pan sounds his horn
Marking time to the rhyme
With his hoof,
With his hoof.
Forward forward in our plan,
We proceed as we began....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A Serenade From the Laughing Spaceman"
from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
sung by Spock
Take care young ladies and value your wine.
Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime.
Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs,
Then swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs.
Ah, bitter dregs.
With smiling words and tender touch,
Man offers little and asks for so much.
He loves in the breathless excitement of night,
Then leaves with your treasure in cold morning light.
Ah, in cold morning light.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
(untitled)
from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
sung by Kirk (and Spock?)
I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum.
We're spacemen marching to and from.
We slythe among the mimsy troves,
And tire among the borog[r]oves.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen"
from TOS "The Naked Time"
sung by Kevin Riley (calling himself "O'Riley")
I'll take you home again, Kathleen,
Across the ocean wild and wide,
To where your heart has ever been,
Since first you were my bonnie bride.
The roses all have left your cheek,
I've watched them fade away and die;
Your voice is sad whene'er you speak,
And tears bedim your loving eyes.
Oh! I will take you back, Kathleen,
To where your heart will feel no pain,
And when the fields are fresh and green,
I'll take you to your home again.
(One More Time!!!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Star Trekkin'"
by "The Firm" (not the popular group, another one)
Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
Lt. Uhura, report!
Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.
Analysis, Mr. Spock!
Spock:
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again.
Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.
Medical update, Doctor McCoy
McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Spock:
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!
Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
Kirk:
Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.
McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Spock:
Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
scrape 'em off, Jim.
Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!
Engineer, Mister Scott
Scotty:
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics,
laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, [yet|Jim]
Kirk:
Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill!
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
Scotty, beam me up!
McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim, Dead!
Spock:
Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again!
Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim!
McCoy: It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!
Scotty: Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow, Captain!
Scotty: Ye canna change the status of the (auxiliary) ax'l engine eh?!
<>
Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na
Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse!
We come in peace, shoot to kill.
[ there's also the EP version which has a few more verses --ed ]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Banned from Argo"
When we beamed into Argo 4 in search of R & R
Our crew set out investigating every joint and bar
We had high expectations of their hospitality
But soon found Argo not prepared for spacers such as we
CHORUS:
And we're...banned from Argo, every one
Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun
We spent a jolly shore leave there of just 3 days or 4
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
Our captain's needs were simple but his methods were complex
He found 5 willing partners, each of a different world and sex
The shore police were on the way, we had no second chance
We beamed him up in the nick of time with the remnants of his pants
CHORUS
*** disappeared a while in the local **
Buying a *** guaranteed to cause ***
She came home with no uniform, and an oddly cheerful heart
And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart
CHORUS
Our proper, prim first officer was drugged with something green
And dragged into an alley where he suffered things obscene
He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
Except he somehow taught the ship's computer how to swear
CHORUS
Our doctor loves humanity, his private life is quiet
The shore police arrested him for inciting girls to riot
(WHAT?)
They found him in the city jail, *** debris
Intact except for herpes, and 6 kinds of VD
CHORUS
(Gee, I wonder why?)
Our engineer can yield to none in quaffing down the brew
He outdrank 7 space marines and a demolition crew
The navigator *** but he outdrank almost all
And now they got a shuttlecraft on the roof of city hall
CHORUS
Our lady of communications won a ship like that
By tying into the Argo-wide communications net
Now, every time they call you on the Argo telescreen
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen
(Yaah!)
CHORUS
Our helmsman loves exotic plants, the plants all love him too
He took some down on leave with him, and we wondered what they'd do
Well, the planetary governor now swears upon his life
A gang of plants entwined his house, and then seduced his wife
CHORUS
A band of pirates landed and nobody seemed to care
They stomped in the nearest bar and announced that they were there
(We're here!)
Half our crew was standing there and invited them to play
The pirates took one look at us, and turned and ran away
CHORUS
We're truly Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
We're sorry 'bout the wreckage and the rumpus and the fuss
You can be sure that planet will be long forgetting us
CHORUS
(I wonder why?)
(Did we do something wrong?)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
186 BIBLIOGRAPHY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The Making of Star Trek"
by Stephen Whitfield
(Ballantine/Del Ray 68)
"Star Fleet Technical Manual"
by Franz Joseph
(Ballantine/Del Ray 75)
"Star Trek Blueprints"
by Franz Joseph
(Ballantine/Del Ray 75)
"Star Trek Concordance"
by Bjo Trimble
(Ballantine/Del Ray 76)
"Star Trek Compendium"
by Allan Asherman
(Pocket Books 81, 87, 89)
"The Klingon Dictionary"
by Marc Okrand
(Pocket Books 85)
"Mr. Scott's Guide to the Enterprise"
by Shane Johnson
(Pocket Books 87)
"The Worlds of the Federation"
by Shane Johnson
(Pocket Books 89)
"The Writer's/Director's Guide"
(new editions put out for each season)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
187 INDEX
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Age, Rapid The Deadly Years
Alcohol By Any Other Name
The Ultimate Computer
Aldebaran Shellmouth Amok Time
Alice in Wonderland Shore Leave
All-Powerful Being Arena
The Squire of Gothos
Spectre of the Gun
Who Mourns for Adonais
Alpha Centauri Metamorphosis
Altair 6 Amok Time
Alternate Earth Bread and Circuses
Miri
Omega Glory
Paradise Syndrome
Patterns of Force
A Piece of the Action
Alternate Universe The Alternative Factor
Mirror, Mirror
The Tholian Web
Andorian Journey to Babel
Whom Gods Destroy
Androids I, Mudd
Requiem for Methuselah
Return to Tomorrow
What Are Little Girls Made of?
Andromeda By Any Other Name
I, Mudd
Aphrodisiac Elaan of Troyius
Argilias Wolf in the Fold
Ardana The Cloud Minders
Aurora The Way to Eden
Astrodidium Balance of Terror
AtoZ All Our Yesterdays
Batman Actors/Actresses Friday's Child
I, Mudd
Let That be Your Last Battlefield
Mudd's Women
That Which Survives
Whom Gods Destroy
Bear, Teddy Journey to Babel
Bearskin City on the Edge of Forever
Beta Antares 4 A Piece of the Action
Bluff The Corbomite Maneuver
The Deadly Years
Boxkite Spectre of the Gun
Brats And the Children Shall Lead
Charlie X
Miri
Buttheads The Cage
The Empath
The Menagerie
Capella 4 Friday's Child
Cats Assignment: Earth
Catspaw
Cestus 3 Arena
Chekov, Piotr Day of the Dove
Chess Charlie X
Court-Martial
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Whom Gods Destroy
Chicks By Any Other Name
A Private Little War
Wink of an Eye
Cochrane, Zephram Metamorphosis
Code 1 Errand of Mercy
Code 7 A Taste of Armageddon
Coffee The Corbomite Maneuver
Wink of an Eye
Cold All Our Yesterdays
The Enemy Within
A Private Little War
Corbomite The Corbomite Maneuver
The Deadly Years
Cordrazine The City on the Edge of Forever
Death of Major Character Amok Time
Catspaw
The Changeling
The Enterprise Incident
Shore Leave
Spectre of the Gun
Who Mourns for Adonais
D'Artagnan The Naked Time
Decker, Matt The Doomsday Machine
Defy Starfleet Command Amok Time
The Cloud Minders
Conscience of the King
Galileo Seven
Lights of Zetar
The Mark of Gideon
A Taste of Armageddon
Deneva Operation--Annihilate!
Diplomats The Deadly Years
Errand of Mercy
Galileo Seven
Journey to Babel
Metamorphosis
Doctor, Not a ___ The Corbomite Maneuver
The City on the Edge of Forever
The Deadly Years
The Devil in the Dark
The Doomsday Machine
Friday's Child
Mirror, Mirror
Dolman, Princess Elaan of Troyius
Doorknob Conscience of the King
The Menagerie
Dork All Our Yesterdays
Balance of Terror
The Corbomite Maneuver
The Deadly Years
The Devil in the Dark
The Doomsday Machine
Galileo Seven
Metamorphosis
Mudd's Women
The Naked Time
The Omega Glory
Spectre of the Gun
A Taste of Armageddon
Drill Thralls The Gamesters of Triskelion
Ears Bread and Circuses
The Devil in the Dark
The Enterprise Incident
I, Mudd
Obsession
Piece of the Action
The Way to Eden
Eel-bird Amok Time
Electric Cloud Metamorphosis
Engine Cold Start The Naked Time
Eyes Glowing The Lights of Zetar
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Fabrini For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
Ferrill Mudd's Women
Ferris Galileo 7
First Officer, Expendable The Cloud Minders
The Empath
Fizbin A Piece of the Action
Flint Requiem for Methuselah
Flowers The Apple
The Cage
This Side of Paradise
Fried Eggs Operation--Annihilate!
Friendly Angel And the Children Shall Lead
Galt The Gamesters of Triskelion
Gamma Hydra 4 The Deadly Years
Gangsters A Piece of the Action
Garrovick Obsession
Garth Whom Gods Destroy
Gem The Empath
General Order 4 Turnabout Intruder
General Order 7 The Menagerie (part 1)
General Order 24 A Taste of Armageddon
Gill, John Patterns of Force
Good vs Evil Arena
Day of the Dove
The Enemy Within
The Savage Curtain
Spectre of the Gun
Gorns Arena
Gothos The Squire of Gothos
Gravity Down to .8 Arena
Tomorrow is Yesterday
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Greek/Roman Bread and Circuses
Plato's Stepchildren
Who Mourns for Adonais
Green, Col. The Savage Curtain
Grupps Miri
Guns Bread and Circuses
Patterns of Force
A Piece of the Action
A Private Little War
Spectre of the Gun
The Squire of Gothos
Hansen's Planet Galileo Seven
Hard Substance Arena
Balance of Terror
The Doomsday Machine
Obsession
Herbert The Way to Eden
Hippies The Way to Eden
Hodgkin's Law Bread and Circuses
IDIC Is There in Truth No Beauty?
Iotians A Piece of the Action
Jack the Ripper Wolf in the Fold
Jailbreak (Kirk/Spock/etc.) All Our Yesterdays
Bread and Circuses
By Any Other Name
The Cage
The Omega Glory
Patterns of Force
A Private Little War
Return of the Archons
Janus VI The Devil in the Dark
That Which Survives
Kahless The Savage Curtain
Kalandan That Which Survives
Kang Day of the Dove
Kanut Kalifee Amok Time
Kara Spock's Brain
Wolf in the Fold
Kelvans By Any Other Name
Khan Space Seed
Khan, Ghengis The Savage Curtain
Kirk Blows Up Computer The Changeling
I, Mudd
Requiem for Methuselah
Return of the Archons
A Taste of Armageddon ?
That Which Survives
The Ultimate Computer
What Are Little Girls Made of?
Kirk, Peter Operation--Annihilate!
Kirk, Sam Operation--Annihilate!
What Are Little Girls Made of?
Klingons Amok Time
Day of the Dove
Elaan of Troyius
The Enterprise Incident
Errand of Mercy
Friday's Child
A Private Little War
The Savage Curtain
The Trouble With Tribbles
Knives/Swords Amok Time
And the Children Shall Lead
Day of the Dove
The Naked Time
Plato's Stepchildren
Space Seed
The Squire of Gothos
Wolf in the Fold
Kodos Conscience of the King
Kollos Is There in Truth No Beauty?
Kor Errand of Mercy
Korby, Roger What Are Little Girls Made of?
Korob Catspaw
Kuul? Errand of Mercy
Landru Return of the Archons
Lazarus The Alternative Factor
Leave Galaxy By Any Other Name
The Doomsday Machine
The Immunity Syndrome
Is There in Truth No Beauty?
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Lincoln, Abraham The Cage
The Savage Curtain
Lincoln, Miss The City on the Edge of Forever
Love, Chekov The Apple
Day of the Dove
Spectre of the Gun
The Way to Eden
Love, Kirk Bread and Circuses
By Any Other Name
The City on the Edge of Forever
The Cloud Minders
Conscience of the King
Court-Martial
Dagger of the Mind
The Deadly Years
Elaan of Troyius
The Enemy Within
The Gamesters of Triskelion
The Naked Time
The Mark of Gideon
The Menagerie
Miri
Mirror, Mirror
Mudd's Women
The Paradise Syndrome
A Private Little War
Requiem for Methuselah
Shore Leave
Turnabout Intruder
What Are Little Girls Made Of?
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Wink of an Eye
Love, McCoy For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
The Man Trap
Shore Leave
Love, Scotty The Lights of Zetar
Who Mourns for Adonais
Wolf in the Fold
Love, Spock All Our Yesterdays
Amok Time
The Cloud Minders
The Enterprise Incident
This Side of Paradise
M-rays Catspaw [or Who Mourns for Adonais]
Spectre of the Gun
Who Mourns for Adonais [or Catspaw]
M4 Robot Requiem for Methuselah
M5 Computer The Ultimate Computer
Magnetic Field The Alternative Factor
Mara Day of the Dove
Marcus 3 Galileo Seven
Marta Whom Gods Destroy
Melkotians Spectre of the Gun
Memory Alpha The Lights of Zetar
Memory Loss, Kirk Paradise Syndrome
Requiem for Methuselah
Memory Loss, Uhura The Changeling
Metrons Arena
Mira The Lights of Zetar
Miranda Is There in Truth No Beauty?
Money, Federation The Apple
Catspaw
The Doomsday Machine
Errand of Mercy
Mirror, Mirror
Operation--Annihilate!
Who Mourns for Adonais
Murasaki Galileo Seven
Mudd, Harcourt Fenton I, Mudd
Mudd's Women
Music, Spock Plato's Stepchildren
The Way to Eden
Mute The Empath
Mutiny The Empath
This Side of Paradise
Turnabout Intruder
Napoleon Patterns of Force
The Squire of Gothos
Nazis Patterns of Force
Neanderthal Galileo Seven
Neck-breaking, Vulcan Amok Time
Journey to Babel
Neural Stuff Amok Time
Dagger of the Mind
Spock's Brain
Whom Gods Destroy
Neutronium The Doomsday Machine
Nova All Our Yesterdays
The Empath [super?]
I, Mudd
O'Riley, Kevin Thomas The Naked Time
Organians Errand of Mercy
The Trouble with Tribbles
Orion City on the Edge of Forever
Journey to Babel [?]
Whom Gods Destroy
Petri Elaan of Troyius
Phaser One vs Phaser Two The Devil in the Dark
Obsession
Phaser Rifle The Cage
Phaser Used for Heat The Corbomite Maneuver
The Enemy Withinn
A Private Little War
Spock's Brain
Pizza Bats Operation--Annihilate!
Pollux 4 Who Mourns for Adonais
Pon Farr Amok Time
Prejudice Balance of Terror
Quasar Galileo Seven
Quatloos The Gamesters of Triskelion
Rayna Requiem for Methuselah
Regulus 5 Amok Time
Religion Bread and Circuses
The Empath
Errand of Mercy
Obsession
The Paradise Syndrome
Return of the Archons
The Trouble with Tribbles
The Ultimate Computer
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Who Mourns for Adonais
Rigel The Cage
The Doomsday Machine
Journey to Babel
Mudd's Women
Requiem for Methuselah
Wolf in the Fold (?)
Rock-being City on the Edge of Forever
The Devil in the Dark
The Savage Curtain
Roddenberry, Dawn Miri
Romulans Balance of Terror
The Deadly Years
The Enterprise Incident
The Savage Curtain
The Way to Eden
Roykirk, Jackson The Changeling
Sarek Journey to Babel
Sargon Return to Tomorrow
Saucer Separation The Apple
The Savage Curtain
Self-Destruct, Enterprise By Any Other Name
Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
Senite The Cloud Minders
Scotty Drunk By Any Other Name
Wolf In the Fold
Scotty Fired The Apple
Serial Numbers Court-Martial
Wolf in the Fold
Seven, Gary Assignment: Earth
Sevrin, Dr. The Way to Eden
Sharon Let That be Your Last Battlefield
Shuttlecraft The Doomsday Machine
Galileo Seven
The Immunity Syndrome
The Menagerie
Metamorphosis
Sigmus Dricomus 7 Spock's Brain
Singing The Changeling
Charlie X
The Naked Time
Plato's Stepchildren
The Way to Eden
Slaves Bread and Circuses
The Gamesters of Triskelion
The Savage Curtain
Speed Arena
By Any Other Name
The Changeling
Wink of an Eye
Spock Cries The Naked Time
Plato's Stepchildren
Spock Insane Is There in Truth No Beauty?
Operation--Annihilate!
Plato's Stepchildren
Spock Laughs Plato's Stepchildren
Spock Sings Plato's Stepchildren
The Way to Eden
SS Antares Charlie X
SS Botany Bay Space Seed
SS Columbia The Cage
The Menagerie (part 2)
SS Diadra Friday's Child
SS Valiant A Taste of Armageddon
Where No Man Has Gone Before
Starbase 6 The Immunity Syndrome
Starbase 9 Tomorrow is Yesterday
Starbase 10 The Menagerie
Opperation--Annihilate!
Starbase 11 Court-Martial
The Deadly Years
Starbase 12 Space Seed
Who Mourns for Adonais
Sub-skin disks For the World is Hollow and I have Touched the Sky
Patterns of Force
Supernova All Our Yesterdays
Wolf in the Fold
Surak The Savage Curtain
T'Pau Amok Time
T'Pring Amok Time
Tantalis Field Mirror, Mirror
Taurus 2 Galileo Seven
Tall Beings Friday's Child
Galileo Seven
Talos IV The Cage
The Menagerie
Telepathy Is There in Truth No Beauty?
Spectre of the Gun
Tellarites Journey to Babel
Tiburon The Savage Curtain
The Way to Eden
Time Travel All Our Yesterdays
The Alternative Factor
Assignment: Earth
City on the Edge of Forever
The Naked Time
Tomorrow is Yesterday
Topaline Friday's Child
Tranja The Corbomite Maneuver
Transporter Malfunction The Doomsday Machine
The Enemy Within
Mirror, Mirror
The Tholian Web
Transtator A Piece of the Action
Trapoline Friday's Child
TriOx Amok Time
Trogs The Cloud Minders
Two-tone Let that be Your Last Battlefield
Unicorn Dog The Enemy Within
USS ______ Wolf in the Fold
USS Carolina Friday's Child
USS Constellation The Doomsday Machine
USS Defiant The Tholian Web
USS Ferrigut Obsession
USS(?) Hood The Ultimate Computer
USS Horizon A Piece of The Action
USS Intrepid The Immunity Syndrome
USS Republic Court-Martial
USS Valient A Taste of Armageddon
USS Yorktown Obsession
Vaal The Apple
Van Gelder Dagger of the Mind
Vandenburg The Devil in the Dark
Vega The Cage
Mirror, Mirror
Venus Drug Mudd's Women
Vians The Empath
Vulcan Death Grip The Enterprise Incident
Vulcan Mating Rituals Amok Time
Vulcan Mind Meld/Probe By Any Other Name
The Changeling
Dagger of the Mind
The Devil in the Dark
Is There In Truth No Beauty?
Mirror, Mirror
The Omega Glory
Patterns of Force
Requiem for Methuselah
Spectre of the Gun
Tomorrow Is Yesterday
Turnabout Intruder
Vulcan Nerve Pinch Assignment: Earth
City on the Edge of Forever
The Enemy Within
Warp Drive Inventor Metamorphosis
Weapons Heated Errand of Mercy
That Which Survives
Wild Goose The Gamesters of Triskelion
The Ultimate Computer
Witch All Our Yesterdays
Catspaw