T h e   1 9 9 4   
S e a t t l e   C e n t e r   V i g i l

Arriving at Seattle Center, the day was dark, cloudy and overcast. Typical
Seattle weather for April. It sprinkled off and on. Again, I had no idea
what to expect. Was this really going to be pulled off? How many people
would show up? Anyone? The only real information about the candle light
vigil was being broadcast over KISW and KNDD radio stations in Seattle. The
suicide itself was everywhere. From CNN to MTV. From 60 Minutes to Hard
Copy. I walked towards the Flag Pavillion, the site the radio said it would
take place. I must have been early. There weren't really many people there.
It actually looked a lot like it usually did on a Saturday. I noticed a lot
of families walking around, older couples with their children. Obviously
just tourists or people there for all the other attractions that draw
individuals to Seattle Center.

Little by little I noticed a 'different' crowd starting to show up. They
were hard to spot at first because of the size of the area and the fact that
most seemed to be unsure. "Is this the place?" most seemed to be asking
themselves. Eventually more and more people started to gather. An older
gentleman walked up to me and asked "What's going on here?" I looked at him
and thought to myself, "Should I tell him, what will he say?" I decided
today was no day for lies. "There's a candle light vigil for Kurt Cobain
today", I told him. "The rock star who died?" was all he said. I was glad
that he didn't say anything derogatory. He could have easily made a comment
like "He was just another junkie." I wasn't in the mood to hear it. This
being my first 'real' introduction to suicide.

Suddenly, like a barn door opened, the flood began. First small groups, soon
they arrived in droves. Hundreds, then thousands. It looked like a cast of
extras for the "Teen Spirit" video. I saw posters, shirts, signs, all home
made. I had never seen so much flannel in one gathering. I couldn't help but
think, "Kurt would get a kick out of this."

There seemed to be no order to the process but since there was a small stage
set up with a PA system, we all migrated to it. Like a concert about to
happen. Too bad it wasn't. You've all seen what followed on MTV. A priest
spoke of suicide and how it is NOT a solution. DJ's spoke to the crowd, some
having known Kurt from his early days in Seattle. One read a note from
Kurt's uncle, Larry Smith. My daughter, who was less than a year old, was
not enjoying this at all. It was cold and there was little to keep her
occupied.

The next thing I knew I heard Courtney reading 'that' letter. It took me a
moment to realize that she wasn't actually there. So many people were in
front of me I couldn't see the stage too well. Part way through the letter,
my son, who was 3 1/2 at the time, had to go to the bathroom. Reluctantly I
led him inside Seattle Center to find a bathroom. Returning outside, I
caught the end of Courtney's taped message.

At about this time someone started passing out white candles with a piece of
paper around the bottom. Soon everyone turned and migrated to the large
fountain in the center of the Flag Pavillion. NIRVANA music was being played
over a PA system. Despite the temperature, people started getting into the
fountain, turning it into a giant wet mosh pit. It was at this time, cold,
tired, and dealing with two kids who had had enough, I decided it was time.
Apparently Courtney arrived some time later and spoke with fans and passed
out some of Kurt's clothing. I felt that I had done all that I could to pay
my respects to a great artist. Turning my back on the cold wet fans, I
started my journey back to the ferry terminal.

- Submitted by Curdt Page -

Memories Of Kurt -- Memorials