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A
Story To Live By
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My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
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and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is a slip.
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This is lingerie."
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He discarded the
tissue and handed me the slip. It was
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exquisite; silk,
handmade and trimmed with
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a cobweb of
lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on
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it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went
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to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She
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was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the
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occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with
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the
other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands
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lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
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drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a
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special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
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I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
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followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad
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chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on
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the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where
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my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that
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she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things
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that she had done without realizing that they were special.
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I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
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I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
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admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.
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I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time
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in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern
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of experience
to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize
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these moments now and cherish them.
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I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
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every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink
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unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
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I wear
my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory
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is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag
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of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for
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special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks
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have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.
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"Someday"
and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
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vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to
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see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have
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done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we
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all take for granted. I think she would have called family members
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and a few close friends. She might have called a few former
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friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.
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I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner,
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her
favorite food. I'm guessing- I'll never know.
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It's
those little things left undone that would make me angry if
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I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing
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good
Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.
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Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to
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write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my
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husband
and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
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I'm
trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
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that
would add laughter and luster to our lives.
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And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
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Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from
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God.
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by Ann Wells (Los
Angeles Times)
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"You've
got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's
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never going to hurt."
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"People
say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends
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don't
need to hold hands because they
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know the other hand
will always be
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there."
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-unknown
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"Piglet
sidled up to Pooh from behind.
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'Pooh'
he whispered.
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'Yes,
Piglet?'
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'Nothing,'
said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
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'I just
wanted to be sure of you.'"
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i will
not drag you along; i will not leave you alone; i will
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stand
by youand have my hand there
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for you to hold when
you need to.
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