YOUR HOROSCOPE

AQUARIUS: January 20-February 18. You have an inventive mind, and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impracticable, causing you to make the same mistake over and over again. People think you are stupid

PICES:February 19-March20: You have a vivid imagination, and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates, and people resent you for flaunting it at your peers. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pices people do horrible things to small animals.

ARIES:March21-April 19: You are the pioneer type, and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.

TAURUS: April 20-May 20: You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determinant and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bulheaded. You are a communist sordid.

GEMINI:May 21-Jun2 20: You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you, because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.

CANCER: June 21-July 11: You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer.

LEO: July 23 - August 22: You consider yourself a born leader. Others think that you are pushy. Most leo people are bullies. You are vain, and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo People are known thieves.

VIRGO: August 23-September 22: You are the logical type, and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional, and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

LIBRA: September 23-October 22: You are the artistic type, and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you more than likely are queer. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most libra women are good prostitutes. All libras die of veneral disease.

SCORPIO: October 23-November 21: You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You should achieve the pinnacle of success, because of your total lack of ethics. Most scorpio people are murdered.

SAGITARIUS: November 22-December21: You are optomistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.

CAPRICORN: December22-January 19: You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. you don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still too long as they tend to take roots and become trees.

Index

Astrology