Despite the fact that The Lagomorphs have existed for only a brief and relatively unknown moment in the history of human affairs, our government has had a lot of very interesting things to say about them. You'd almost think they were a menace to society.

Surgeon General's warning: Listening to the music, ideas, or propaganda of The Lagomorphs has been linked to diseases of the brain and bowels, and can cause severe injury to people who are normal in most any way. Pregnant women, young children and people with heart conditions should avoid at all costs association with The Lagomorphs.

CIA advisory: Any person or persons caught enjoying The Lagomorphs or anything affiliated with The Lagomorphs without prior authorization may be subject to up to twenty years imprisonment and a $30,000 fine.

The A.T.F. says: The "music" of The Lagomorphs is considered to be an assault weapon in 36 states. Any person or persons illegaly purchasing Lagomorphs "music" will be subject to summary justice under penal code 1309.7.

Department of Housing and Urban Development: What is a Lagomorph?

Department of Sanitation: Anybody experiencing "Lagomorph" problems is advised to call the local poison control center at once. Induce vomiting if vomiting has not already occured.

From the Office of the President: My fellow Americans, I have been informed that rumors, vicious rumors, regarding myself, Vice President Gore, a family sized tub of banana yogurt and a Lagomorphs record have been circulating in the media for some days now. I'm here to set the record straight. While there was Lagomorphs music playing in the background, I did not listen.

Attorney General Janet Reno says: If I catch the so called "Lagomorphs" engaging in any more of their nefarious shenanagins, I will hasten to set their complex on fire, and call it a mass suicide. We can allow no leniancy in this matter.

FCC: Any Radio Station found to be promoting, playing, or in any way associating with the Lagomorphs will have it's license instantly revoked and it's proprietors shot.

FAA: The playing of the Lagomorphs "music" in residential areas is strictly prohibited after 11pm.

NFL: Playing the Lagomorphs "music" will result in a 15 yard penalty and loss of down.

PTA: The Lagomorphs "music" has been proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to cause youngsters, already unsure of themselves, to commense in the explicit use of drugs and activities that could only be described as self destructive in nature.

PETA: Fuck them! A bunch!

From the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court: The "music" of the Lagomorphs is definitely unconstitutional. It is in direct violation of Amendment 3 to the Bill of Rights.

President Jacques Chirac: I propose a worldwide ban on the Cloning of the Lagomorphs. They're not even French. Fuck them.





Can you believe those vicious government accusations? Just because the government says something is true doesn't mean it really is. We know you'll disregard all these government warnings. Disclaimers are for sissies anyway. We refute the idea that Lagomorphs "music" causes sickness of any physical kind. We would however like to thank all these government agencies for sitting up and taking notice of the band. It's about smegging time.