Etches: Mr. Widner, Mr. Thayer, Mr. Astor, Mr. Guggenheim, is there anything
I can assist you gentleman with?
Widner: Not unless you’re a priest.
Guggenheim: Thank you all the same, Mr. Etches.
Astor: Actually, there is one thing you can do. Please cancel my game at the
squash court for tomorrow morning.
Etches: A very good idea, Mr. Astor, considering the water has already reached
the ceiling down there, sir.
Guggenheim: I can’t help remarking that this is the first time to my knowledge
that bigger and faster have not proved to be better.
Astor: Quite so. A thing like this could give progress a bad name.
Thayer: The thought occurs that progress might not always be progress.
Guggenheim: Rather a pity really. It was a terribly good crossing up till now.
So many agreeable people.
Astor: A few too many climbers I thought. Lately I’ve noticed anyone with a
few million dollares considers himself rich.
Widner: It’s really rotten luck, you know.
Thayer: I’ve always believe that a man makes his own luck.
Astor: Can’t see how that applies here, John.
Thayer: If you don’t fancy drowning, then stay the hell off a boat.
Guggenheim: Is it possible, do you think, that we had this coming?
Thayer: The hell you say.
Widner: For God’s sake, Benjamin, what have we ever done?
Guggenheim: (sings)
That Frenchman Honre de Balzac
Once said it best
And we would all agree
Were we to get things off our chest.
It’s true as much today as
when he wrote it in his time.
Behind every great fortune
there lies a great crime.
(spoken) So let’s confess it. Who wants to start?
Astor: Yes, quite true. I recall the time when I saw six years old...
(sings)
I stole an apple from the corner grocery store.
I did it with complete bravado.
Guggenheim: (spoken) That’s not what Balzac meant.
Thayer: (sung) I filched in probate court a mansion in Glen Cove.
Guggenheim: (spoken) Get serious, John.
Widener: (sung) I stole a Goya from the Prado.
Well, I bought it from the thief.
Guggenheim: (spoken) Gentlemen, please. I don’t think you understand. Balzac said a great crime.
Astor: How’s this then?
(sings) I pilfered willfully a prize beyond compare.
Guggenheim: (spoken) Good, good.
Astor: (sings) The title page of The Mikado.
Guggenheim: (sings) I stole the water rights, the tin and copper ore in most of the Western Colorado.
Astor: (spoken) That’s big then?
Guggenheim: (sings) Right. You know all of us have done the same.
(spoken) Come on, John. Your turn.
Thayer: (sung) Our bank bought risky debt at 3% or so
Then loaned it out at 6 or 7.
Widener: Our _______ sold worthless stock
the public couldn’t know
and kept the overflow.
All: The overflow!
Oh, the money flows!
Guggenheim: (spoken) That’s it, boys. Let it all flow.