Parent's Guide to Kid's Behavior
by Lil Starr

Chapter One

Growing Spurts

Ever wonder why your kid is starving before dinner and then is suddenly
full the minute a friend knocks on the door?
Your culprit is the growth spurt! Ok, I will try and explain so you parents
can understand it.
Ok there's a pocket in your kids stomach and each time your kid has a
growth spurt a little bit of food is stored in it.
So when a friend knocks on the door food is given to fill up your child
so they can play! TA DA!

Tip of the Chapter:
Do not let kids have a soda or anything very sugary, this is a trick that will fill them up!!

Chapter Two

Bath Time

Do you ever wonder why kids have to be told to take a bath??
No not because they like to be stinky!!
It's because they don't like water! They think SWEAT is bath enough because it's water!
So why do they think this??
In every kids head is a "stupid stuff compartment" in which they
keep their stupid questions and other nonsense,
but that is another chapter! Anyways, that is where they keep
"I hate water" and "I won't take a bath"

Tip of the Chapter:
Kids do not like colognes or perfumes or powders that you put on after showers or baths!

Chapter Three

Picky Eaters

Do you ever wonder why your kids never eat things like
liver and onions or trout sticks?? It's because their taste buds
are different then grown-ups taste buds. Kids taste buds crave more
foods like pizza and cotton candy than grown-ups. Grown-ups taste buds crave
stuff like liver and onions and trout sticks! So that is why kids NEVER
eat liver and onions or trout sticks!

Tip of the Chapter:
No matter how much salt, butter, sour cream or anything like that, kids
will not eat liver, fish etc!!

Chapter Four

Stupid Stuff

Stupid questions and other nonesense

As you learned in chapter two kids have a "stupid stuff compartment",
in which they get their come-backs and other stuff like that.
Ok let's start with the simple stuff and work our way to the complicated stuff.
(whatever that is). Let's start with come-backs. Here are a few: "whatever"
"duh" and "moron". Watch for these words and many others!

Tip of the Chapter:
Never try to fight with kids, they will always have more come-backs then you!
(I don't think so TIM!, (lilstarr's Mom))

Chapter Five

TV and TV Shows

Ok parents you know what kids want?? TV!! You say "do your homework",
they watch TV! You say "Clean your room", they watch TV! So what is
this weird habit? TVITIS, it occurs in all kids! So what breaks this habit?
A schedule! Like perhaps this:
1 pm .... Homework
2 pm .... TV
3 pm .... Clean Room
4 pm .... TV
5 pm .... Eat Dinner
6 pm .... TV

Tip of the Chapter:
Make them stick to the schedule or else they fall back into the HABIT!

Chapter Six

Clothes

Ok, so you're stumped, your kids change taste in clothes all the time!
So what to do?? Waste your money?? NO!! Buy your kids clothes they don't like?
NO!!! The answer is "rummage"! Look through your kid's clothes find some new clothes
and copy off of those!

Tip of the Chapter:
NEVER NEVER let your kids see you rummaging!!

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