MAGIC, CRIME FIGHTING UNDERWEAR MAN
By Josh Tuttle and Glen Passman
PROLOGUE...
A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away lived a princess. She walked gracefully down the palace halls in her skimpy lingeree.....
*WHACK!*
Ow! What was that for?
"You're reading from a dirty magazine... Here's the real script!"
Oh... silly me... I'm sure nobody wanted to hear that other story anyway...
Once upon a time, when wizards and dragons walked the earth a great war took place between the nations of Chaosis and Belloria. The Bellorians were a savage race who took pleasure in destroying everything that stood in their path. King Chaosis, great ruler of Chaosis, could no longer stand the wanton destruction caused by these barbarians so he summoned Merlin the magician to create an enchanted item so powerful that he could use it to rid the world of the Bellorians forever!
Merlin journeyed day and night for two months until he reached Salora, the 700 year old tree that grew in the center of Chaosis, and with an enchanted axe chopped off one of her mighty limbs. He carved the great branch into a shield with a mystical knife known only as... "Merlin's shiny knife"! (Merlin may have been a master magician, but he wasn't particularly imaginative with names.) But whilst he was carving, Prince Chao snuck up behind Merlin and scared him causing the knife to jolt and leave a large hole in the shield... The shield
seemed ruined. Merlin despaired, without a powerful magic force Chaosis was at the mercy of the Bellorians. Chao looked at the the damaged shield and all he could remark was "Aw, pants!" Merlin smiled, that comment had given him an idea. Quickly, he carved another hole in the other side to transform the shield into a pair of underpants. With a satisfied look he spoke the words of magic and... and...
Hey! Someone's spilt coffee all over this part! I'll try to read on... erm...
blah blah... killed Bellorian king... blah blah blah... erm... passed on from generation to generation... etc... etc... Oh here we go!
In the year 1977ad Skid Marxx was born. His grandfather, the bearer of the enchanted undies, was filled with joy... until Skid peed on him. His grandfather told Skid of their ancestry and of the magic undies. Skid was amazed and fascinated by the ancient's stories.
It was on his 16th birthday that Skid's dreams came true and his grandfather passed the possession of the undies over to him.
"These magic briefs are to be used only for the good of mankind and passed on every other generation. You must promise me you will do this."
"I promise, Grandfather."
"Then the undies are yours Skid."
From that day forward.....
MORE COFFEE?!?!? WHO'S THE CULPRIT?!?!? Right, where's that dirty mag gone...
Be here for the next installment of
Magic Crime Fighting Underwear Man!!!
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