Magic Crime Fighting Underwear Man

MAGIC, CRIME FIGHTING UNDERWEAR MAN
By Josh Tuttle and Glen Passman

The Arch Enemy...

     Hello, I'm Kirk the new Narrator. I'm sorry to say that Bob was fired due to a nasty argument he had with our star. I only hope I can do the job as good...
     "Excuse me, we hired you to read the story... So how about doing just that?"
     Yes, of course, the story, silly me...
     "GET ON WITH IT!!!"
     Oh yes. Sorry. Our story continues as Skid visits the... hold on... scribble... scribble...

     "...goodbye cruel world, you won't have Bob Norman to push around any more..."

     "No way. Bob wrote his suicide letter on our script, can you believe it?"
     Well, it's what he's done... and look at this...
     "The rest of the script, it's in Bob's handwriting..."
     I can't read this, it's, well, hopeless...
     "Just read it, were running out of time!"
     Yes sir. Of course sir.

     As Bob climbed the Metroggolis bridge, he wondered if he had the guts to take the final leap into oblivion. He looked down at the river below and was suddenly aware of the perilous situation he was it. But he must jump, he could never live without being a narrator. He closed his eyes, bit his lip, and plunged towards the black oily waters beneath the bridge. The fall seemed to take forever (even though the Metroggolis bridge is only ten feet above the water level). When he hit the water, he expected to die.

     "This is terrible!"
     I'm did warn you sir. But this is all we have!
     "When do I get in it?"
     You appear shortly sir.
     "Well skip a bit, I can't be waiting here all night!"
     Okay sir...

     Erm... Well, basically, all the rest says is that when Bob sank into the river sludge, he was bestowed with super-human powers. He can now control all the dirt in the world for he is the mighty Disgruntled-Narrator-that-Controls-Dirt Man!
     "What a pathetic name. Just call him Ultra-Bob."
     Very good sir. Ultra-Bob decided that with his powers he would be able to destroy the one man responsible for his downfall... Skid Marxx!
     "That's me!!"

     Meanwhile, Skid was walking across the city, not knowing about Bob's fate, when he heard a scream of "HELP!!!" come from an old and deserted warehouse...
     "That's a bit af a cliche, isn't it?"
     Don't blame me sir, I didn't write it.
     "Sorry, carry on..."
     Skid arrived into the darkened warehouse to find a man tied to a chair and surrounded by high explosives.
     "Do not fear good citizen, I shall save you from this peril," yelled Skid as he approached the man.
     Just then, twenty men with big (and I mean BIIIIIG) guns opened fire on Skid. Our hero acted quickly and used his magic undies to generate a force field around him and the hostage. As the bullets ricocheted off the field, Skid reached into his pants and pulled out a bottle containing pure body odour. He tossed his B.O. bomb at the attackers who, in traditional "expendable thugs" style seen in so many action films, were standing too close together to avoid it. The bottle shattered on the ground beneath their feet and the goons were soon unconcious by the noxious fumes. Skid clenched his teeth as he examined the explosives.
     "Only 10 seconds left... gotta do something quickly... "
     With that, Skid removed a bomb squad from the depths of his pants and they went to work.
     10... 9... 8... 7...
     The bomb squad worked feverishly to try and disarm the explosives.
     6... 5... 4...
     Skid and the man, who seems to lack a name, braced themselves for the worst.
     3... 2... 1... click!
     In the tradition of all great bomb defusions, the explosives were disarmed as the counter reached 1 and were rendered safe.<
     "Who are you?" asked the hostage.
     "I'm..."
     Skid realized he needed a super hero name. "They call me... um... ah... Magic Crime Fighting Underwear Man!!!!"
     And with that he let out a mighty *TRUMP* and blasted into the skies, unfortunately forgetting that there was two floors of concrete between him and the outside.
     The man was left wide eyed in wonder.
     "Yeah... I wonder why he didn't untie me... HELP!!!!"

     As Skid left the warehouse, something caught his eye. It was a shape of something more hideous than anything he'd encountered before. It was the shape of Ultra-Bob, holding a box of doughnuts over a fire escape balcony.
     "Give me my job back or the doughnuts fall to the ground!", Ultra-Bob yelled menacingly.
     "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!", shouted Skid, his eyes filled with fear...

Will Undie Man surrender to save the doughnuts?
Will I still have a job?
Will we have time to re-wright Bob's script?

Be here for the next installment of
Magic Crime Fighting Underwear Man!!!

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