MAGIC, CRIME FIGHTING UNDERWEAR MAN
By Josh Tuttle and Glen Passman
The Trap...
a) 72 degrees celcius.
b) Y/X=25.
c) X=38.9.
d) 9.897623.....Hang on, what the hell is this?
"Oh sorry, that's an old cheat sheet from my maths class"
Oh, right! Thought it was a bit exciting for this story...
"OI! Thank you very much, I'm sure!"
Okay then, where's the script?
"On the other side... it's the stuff written in red crayon! It was all I had to rewrite the script with (allegedly!)"
Oh I see it. Here we go then...
When we last left, our hero was in a major dilemma! Ultra-Bob, the narrator sacked from the show had gained super powers in a freak suicide attempt! We ended with him threatning to throw a box of doughnuts, Skid's favourite food, off a fire escape balcony unless our hero surrendered to his evil ways!
"Sounds a bit pervy does that!"
Hey, I'm going for the cheap laugh here!
"Oh, okay!"
Anyway, back to the tale...
"Look, just place the the doughnuts down gently, and nobody will get hurt!" pleaded Skid.
"Never, Magic Crime-Fighting Underwear Man! I have you exactly where I want you!"
Skid had to plan his attack just right. Any mistake, and either he or, heaven forbid, the doughnuts could be no more. Suddenly, a idea popped into his mind...
"At least step back a bit from the balcony," he said with a sly grin on his face.
"And just why would I want to do that?"
"Because your shoelace is untied and I wouldn't want you to trip!"
"It is?"
As Ultra-Bob looked down to check, Skid fired out a power *TRRRUUUUUMP!* and launched himself wrecklessly towards the doughnuts.
Before Bob knew what was coming, Magic Crime Fighting Underwear Man had flown past the hapless ex-narrator and rescued the donuts. Then promptly ate half of them!
"Well it's hungry work being a crime fighter you know! AH HAH! I fooled you this time, Ultra-Bob!!!"
"On the contrary, my dear adversary, those donuts were laced with a mild sedative. I'm sure you'll feeling the effects any second now..."
"You fiend, I'll kiiii.......Zzzzzzzzzzz"
*THUD!!!!!*
Our hero awoke to find himself tied to a giant pastry mixer.
"So, you've returned to the land of the living," said Ultra-Bob.
It was then that he noticed the giant bowl filled with some sort of white oozy mixture.
"Ah, I see you've notice my giant bowl of doughnut batter! It is about to be mixed by the pastry mixer you are tied to. Isn't it ironic that the cause of your demise will be the one thing you love most?"
"You won't get away with this, Bob! I'll be back after you," shouted Skid as he tried to stall for time.
"I already have, Skid! Prepare to meet, or even eat, your last!!!" And with that Bob activated the huge mixer.
As Skid was lowered into the batter, he struggled to get free, but he couldn't. The mixer began spinning rapidly, making Skid dizzy. He knew he had only one option left...
Will Skid' plan work?
Will he be assaulted and battered?
Will my hair ever grow back the same?
Be here for the next installment of
Magic Crime Fighting Underwear Man!!!
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