THE COMMUNICATIONS PROCESS

Messages in the communications process:

1. What you meant to say
2. What you actually say
3. What the other person hears
4. What the other person thinks or feels she/he hears
5. What the other person says about what you said
6. What you think or feel the other person said about what you said
 

Facts to remember about the communications process:

1. Communications is contextual.
2. Each person in the communications process simultaneously creates and interprets communication cues.
3. Each participant affects and is affected by the other.
4. In a communicative transaction, any variable can be seen as a stimulus on response, contingent on your point of view.
5. Either the “reaction” or the “response” mode is activated in both persons.
 

Cautions:

1. Try to use “I” statements rather than the defense producing “you” statements.
2. Employ a good listening process.

3. Avoid “mind reading”.  We do have impressions of other people’s feelings and hunches about their motives.  Inquire in order to be certain of your impressions and hunches.
4. Attack the problem not the person.
5. Avoid words like “always”, “never”, and “but”.
6. Avoid “name calling” and “negative labeling”.  The problem with name-calling is that these names are verbal assault arrows that hurt.
7. Deal with painful situations as they arise.
8. Make time for talk together that goes beyond practical problems.
 
 
 
Raymond C. Hicks, DMin.
MemCare, Int’l		 07/14/99
Back to Articles