Shifty Maneuvers

Well, race fans, Cousin Shifty has been enjoying the little off-season, as we all have been doing. Time to roust that crusty old fart and hear some of his thoughts about the coming season. We don't deny he's an irascible old fool, but he really knows a lot about racing - he was one of the pioneers - he's been there and done that. I have to put up with him because he's family.

Race Views: Well, Shifty, how have you spent your hiatus ?
Shifty: I've told you not to use them medical terms around me, boy. I'll write you out of my will.

Race Views: Shifty - let's try again. Did you enjoy the off-season ?
Shifty: What off-season - you know good and well I haven't worked since 1965.

Race Views: We know exactly how long you've been living in the basement of our trailer. But we are talking about the off-season for racing.
Shifty: Are you hard of hearing, boy ? You know I ain't raced since 1965.

Race Views: Gaagghh. I knew this was a mistake. I'll try again. Have you been thinking about the 2001 season ?
Shifty: Yep.

Race Views: Thank goodness. Maybe we can have a real interview now. How do you think the new Dodge teams will do this season?
Shifty:What new Dodge teams ?

Race Views: Shifty, you moron - Dodge came back to Winston Cup Racing this season !
Shifty:I knew that - just yanking your chain boy. Like to see you turn red.

Race Views: Got us on that one, Shifty - so how do you think they will do ?
Shifty: They will probably win 20 of the 28 races.

Race Views: Shifty - there will be 36 races this season.
Shifty: The hell you say - why ?

Race Views: When you started racing there were 50 races a season. Why is 36 races a big deal ?
Shifty: We was younger then.

Race Views: What does that have to do with a 36-race season?
Shifty: Could you repeat the question, boy ?

Race Views: Don't think so, Shifty. Enjoy your nap.
Shifty: [unintelligible reply]

Editor's note: Shifty will be back.

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