Shifty Maneuvers
Well, race fans, Cousin Shifty is fresh from 6 weeks of R&R (detox) and believe it or not, he called us to continue the interview. We think it is part of his therapy.
Race Views: Well, Shifty, we are glad to hear from you again. We have had more than two letters asking about you. What do you want to say to our readers ?
Shifty: About what ?
Race Views: Shifty - don't start this again - remember you called me this time - and don't forget I'll put you right back into R&R if you Ford up.
Shifty: O.K., boy. I want to sell you some secrets.
Race Views: Maybe I misunderstood - do you want to Sell me some secrets or Tell me some secrets ?
Shifty: You heard me right the first time, boy. I want to SELL you some secrets.
Race Views: And just what secrets do you have our readers might want to learn ?
Shifty: I haven't seen any money, yet.
Race Views: And you won't, at this rate. We don't care you are a blood relative, speak or get off the pot. Give us a hint.
Shifty: O.K. - remember when D.W. won his last race in the rain-shortened 1992 Southern 500 ?
Race Views: Of course I do - what does that have to do with anything ?
Shifty: It wasn't really D.W. It was me doing that silly rain dance in the pits.
Race Views: This is hard to believe.
Shifty: That's why it's been a secret for so long.
Race Views: We are very skeptical. Can you offer any proof ?
Shifty: Let me put it another way. Back in '92, Ole D.W. knew he was on his way out. So he hired me to fill in to cover those embarrassing moments for him. He and I looked a lot alike so it was pretty easy to fool people.
Race Views: Do you expect any of our readers to believe that story ?
Shifty: The Ford fans might believe it.
Race Views: We are very disappointed in you, Shifty.
Shifty: When do I get my money ?
Editor's note: Shifty raced for too many years without a helmet. But he is still our cousin.
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