Shifty Maneuvers
Well, race fans, Shifty has been AWOL for a while. He has been on hiatus - that means that more than likely he's been getting dried out again. Cousin Shifty has always been an inspiration so we accept his little diversions from reality. He still gets his Nascar pension and medical benefits. As he should. He was one of the pioneers. He was competing before helmets were mandatory, and sometimes it shows. Most often, he gives us an insight into racing which very few others could.
Race Views: Well, Shifty, you've been gone for a while - where have you
been ?
Shifty: Out.
Race Views: Shifty - haven't we asked you to avoid the one-word answers ?
Shifty: Yep.
Race Views: We'll try one more time - where have you been ?
Shifty: Out west.
Race Views: Out west where - did you get farther than Raleigh ?
Shifty: Yep.
Race Views: We warned you - no one-word answers. How far west did you go ?
Shifty: Los Angeles.
Race Views: Isn't that close to Colorado - there aren't any tracks there.
Shifty: Mike - you are such a dummy. I went to the convention.
Race Views: We'll bite - what convention ?
Shifty: The one where they elect the president.
Race Views: But Shifty, the president is not elected at the convention.
Shifty: The hell you say - I was there !
Race Views: All right, Shifty - we'll accept you were there. What happened ?
Shifty: Lots of folks was wearing silly outfits. Screaming and carrying
on. Lots of drinking. Lots of food. Lots of people signing t-shirts in bad places.
Race Views: Sounds like a Winston Cup race to us.
Shifty: But there wasn't no race cars.
Race Views: So why were you there ?
Shifty: Where ?
Editor's note: Shifty will be back.
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