"We Need More Parity"
submitted by "Polly"

M.L. Morgan (referee)

Well, race fans, we have decided to turn our Sound Off! page over to you. This will be your forum and we encourage you to submit your opinions to us. Don't be bashful.

These days it seems that Nascar is doing all it can to take the creativity out of racing.

In a big booming voice it says -- "All the teams should run the same make cars, same make engines, etc. They'll all be identical, and the controversy over "Nascar favoritism" will finally be put to rest. We will hear no more of the "Chevys clearly have the advantage." OR "Fords have the advantage, wind tunnel tests prove it."

OR "What about Dodge. They have that two lap head start." OR "Oh yeah. What about Pontiac, Nascar has been holding their hands for years."

OK, now we've got that solved. Cars and engines the same. Coooooooll!! BUT, HEY BIG BILL!!! What about the big differences in the pit stops?? Some teams are just so much faster than others. We've got to do something to even up that score, too.

I'VE GOT IT!! Let's get rid of the pit crews. Out with all of them. Each pit will become automated:

The driver pulls into the pits. Machinery changes each tire. Big arm comes out and fills up the gas tank. Ditto the windshield. A computer reads if a round of wedge is needed or not. All pit stops will be exactly 30 seconds. No fudging allowed. The Pit Gate will not open until the full 30 seconds have elapsed.

OK, BIG BILL, Nascar is looking good now. Cars, engines, and pit stops all identical. Oh, oh. Wait a minute. What are we going to do to even up the abilities of the drivers??

DAMN!! Back to the drawing board.

Have comments or questions? E-mail: M.L. Morgan

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