"Every Driver Has One"
submitted by "Polly"
M.L. Morgan (referee)
Well, race fans, we have decided to turn our Sound Off!
page over to you.
This will be your forum and we encourage you to submit your opinions to us.
Don't be bashful.
Another snippet of life as a race fan from our friend "Polly".
Every driver has one. You know
exactly what I'm talking about. The "Excuse Box". The box contains
commentary to be used after a driving "incident". Before leaving for
the driver's meeting on Sunday morning, each driver goes through his
"Excuse Box". Every race is listed in the order run, Daytona,
Rockingham, etc. After the "incident", you must properly identify the
track problem. Wouldn't do to blame "that's restrictor plate racing" if
you just flew off turn one at Sonoma. Nor would you say "just can't go
three wide", if you were at Pocono. OK, that's step one. GET THE RIGHT
TRACK. Step two. Review the attitude card. You can use any of the
three listed, but never twice in a row. There is furious, "I had the
line, and blankety blank, just got too anxious, AGAIN". OR bewildered.
"I just won't know what happened until I review the tape of the race."
(alternate--"the crew checks out the car"). Or humble. "It was my
fault, and I just hate it for the guys who worked so hard." Read over
step three. You ALWAYS have a top ten car. It doesn't matter if you
were 30th at the time of the crash. You ALWAYS have a top 10 car.
Memorize step four. And this is the most important step. Even if the
announcer starts pulling the mike away, you MUST get in All your
sponsor's names. Preferably in the order of how much money they are
giving the team. If you are rushed, and forget one, you must name them
twice next time. Oh my gosh!!!! Gotta go!!! It is 8:05. I'm
late for work again,. Hummmm. Will the boss go for "it was just one of
those mornin' deals"????? nahhhhh, I already used that one this week.
Polly