Behavior modification

Most of the following methods were compiled by someone on the board. The habit reversal article was added later and incorporates many of the methods listed earlier but I'm not removing any of the descriptions, so please bear with any redundancy and consider it a "review" of useful methods.

Go back to the ideas page


Two bulletin board posts about cognitive therapy:

 Message Number: # 13762

[...] first of all it's great that your doctor knows to supplement
 meds with another form of therapy, since meds in most cases do not
 completely eliminate the urge to pull.  Cognitive therapy is one
 methods used to combat the urge.

 I've seen presentations on this at conferences and TLC's retreat, and
 will be discussed at the Atlanta conference.  I find it very helpful,
 as one tool in my arsenal.

 Cognitive therapy usually involves identifying the thoughts you have
 that make pulling more likely, and working on replacing those thoughts
 with new thought patterns.

 For example, one type of thought pattern that often leads to pulling
 is anxiety-producing thoughts, such as "I'll never figure this out,"
 "I'm going to fail this test," "I'm going to get a bad performance
 review" and so on.  The kind of thoughts that combat this could be,
 "This may take a while, but I will figure it out" and so on.

 Another group of thoughts are those that give permission to pull, such
 as "Just one", "I'll feel better after I pull", "I already pulled
 today." "That white/kinky/stubby/etc. hair has got to go"  These can
 be combatted with (for example)
 "It's NEVER 'just one'.  I need to keep from pulling even one."
 "I WON'T feel better after I pull, I'll be upset at the damage I've
 caused"
 "Even if I've already pulled today, that doesn't make it OK to pull
 any more. I can always start the day over."
 "It's better to have a white/kinky/stubby hair there, than to have a
 bald spot."  OR "Every hair has a right to be in my head."  OR "Every
 hair is SUPPOSED to be in my head."
 I have found those last two to be VERY effective.  I have actually
 stopped pulls at the last minute, meaning the hair was in my hand and
 I was about to yank, by reminding myself that the hair is supposed to
 be there and has a right to be there.  Not all the time, but the
 batting average is improving!

 Your mileage may vary; you need to find the ones you can relate to. 
 It also can take some time, because you are more used to the old ways
 of thinking and find them more "persuasive" than the new ways of
 thinking.  Think of it as trying to convince a friend of something. 
 The first time you give your argument, they may not be persuaded, but
 over a period of time after they hear it many times, they will start
 to see the validity of your argument.  In this case, the friend is
 yourself!

 A few years ago, I kept myself from pulling while completing something
 under deadline, for the first time EVER, by identifying my anxiety-
 producing thoughts and combatting them.  I walked on air that entire
 weekend.  It was the first time I KNEW, really knew, this thing could
 be controlled and I could do it.

 Another term that is used is "cognitive behavior therapy."  I believe
 this is a combination of aspects of cognitive therapy like I've
 described, and behavior therapy such as habit reversal.


 Message Number: # 13817

 [...]

 Cognitive Therapy: THINK about what you THINK

 By David Donivan

 The Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote that people "are disturbed not
 by things but by the views which they take of them." Centuries later
 the psychologist Adler stated that "we do not suffer from the shock of
 our experiences -- the so-called trauma -- but we make out of them
 just what suits our purposes." In other words we are self-determined
 by the meaning we give to our experiences, not by the experiences
 themselves. From this tradition emerged Cognitive Therapy, which
 maintains that emotions and behavior are determined by our attitudes
 and assumptions: we learn to master life's problems and situation by
 reevaluating and correcting our thinking, hopefully in a realistic and
 adaptive manner. 

 But when we are depressed our thinking is dominated by negative ideas,
 many of which occur as "automated thinking" or "thoughtless thinking."
 We may see ourselves as being somehow defective, inadequate, diseased,
 or deprived; the world is full of obstacles and makes exorbitant
 demands on us. We may feel defeated and that our difficulties will
 continue indefinitely with nothing but hardships, frustrations, and
 endless burdens. 

 Drug therapy not withstanding, Cognitive Therapy offers a method of
 utilizing a person's own psychological resources towards coping with
 depression. The basic premise is that the "Automatic Thoughts" may
 feed or contribute to the depression.

 A person who is depressed or depression-prone will frequently maintain
 that their automatic negative throughts are valid in spite of evidence
 to the contrary. Some of these types of thoughts are:

 - All-or-None Thinking: This is the tendency to see things in extremes
 or absolutes, as "either-or," and not allowing anything in between. It
 involves words like "always," "never," "nothing," and "everything." A
 typical statement might be, "I did not do well at that so I am a total
 failure."

 - Overgeneralization: This includes taking an isolated incident,
 drawing a broad conclusion, and applying it to other related or
 unrelated situations. The incident seemingly becomes a never ending
 pattern of defeat and negative generalization about oneself, the
 world, and the entire future. For example: "I did not do a good job; I
 never do anything right."

 - Mental Filter: The person takes negative details and magnifies them
 while filtering out the positive aspects of a situation. They make
 mistakes worse than they are by blaming themselves.

 - Minimization: This is the tendency to ignore one's good points or
 explain away their accomplishments.  They reject positive experiences
 since they "don't count," allowing them to maintain a negative belief
 that is contradicted by their experiences.

 - Arbitrary Inference: Drawing conclusions even though there is no
 evidence for them. Also it may involve focusing on one detail out of
 context while ignoring everything else.

 - Mind Reading: We conclude that someone is reacting negatively to us
 without checking it out.

 - Fortune Telling: The person anticipates that things will turn out
 badly as though it is an established fact.

 -Awfulizing or Catastrophizing: Exaggerating the importance of things,
 such as your mistake or someone else's achievement. We hear everyday
 statements, such as "I can't stand it if..." or "I'll go crazy if..."

 -Emotional Reasoning: The person mixes their feelings with reality and
 makes negative assumptions such as "I feel so bad I must be bad."

 -Should Statements: There is a rigid code as to how the person and
 other people should act. They feel guilty or angry when the rules are
 broken.

 - Labeling: Instead of describing our own or someone else's error, we
 use a negative label such as "I'm a loser."

 - Rationalizing: This perhaps most of all is something we all do to
 some extent. It is making excuses, frequently to make us feel better
 about something we have done or not done.

 - Entitlement: Believing that we rightfully deserve things just for
 being who we are, without having earned them.

 We know that the thinking of depression-prone people is constricted
 and dominated by negative ideas, many of which have been mentioned
 here. They can penetrate every aspect of our lives, but not just in
 "depressed" people. Listen for them in "normal" people too!



Go back to the top

Go back to the ideas page

Go back to the questions