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The Top 10 Ways to Become More Introspective


Have you ever been concerned that you really don't know yourself? Have you ever wondered what it takes to get down to "the real me". That's what introspection is all about. It's and art and a skill that come easily for the introverted intuitive, but can be much more difficult for strongly extroverted types. Here are ten ways you can increase your capacities for introspection.


1. Slow down.

Introspection takes time and concentration. It usually doesn't happen when there's a lot of other things going on. Just moving at a more deliberate pace is the first step towards greater inward seeing.


2. Take time alone.

Introspection sometimes occurs in the presence and with the help of others, but more often, when your alone. It's surprising how many busy people maintain that they never have time alone. Frankly, that's a cop out. If you really want time alone, you'll find a way to create it. Being alone, quiet, and calm is the second strep towards opening the door to the inner self.

3. Practice being present-focused.

Experts have estimated that 75% of the average person's thoughts have to do with past or future rather than present. What's worse, it has been estimated that of the 60,000 or so thoughts occurring in the mind during a single day, 90% are repetitions of thoughts you've experienced before. Present focus means being fully in the present, giving your full attention to what's going on now, at this moment and then--when the moment is passed--letting it go. This takes practice, lots of it, but it's a tremendously powerful technique.


4. Learn to withhold judgment.

Not just of others, but of yourself. Are you aware that, every time you judge, you limit your capacity to accept new information? This is particularly true when it comes to self-judgment or criticism. Withholding judgment, either of others or of yourself, is not a cop-out or a threat to your integrity; it's an incredibly effective way of becoming open to experience.


5. Monitor your thoughts.

This follows right on the heels of Step #4 above. Until you learn to withhold judgment, you are not in a position to accurately monitor anything, particularly your own thoughts, because everything that you take in is filtered by your biases. Monitoring your thoughts, often called, "mindfulness", consists of non-critical observation of what IS, what you're thinking, feeling, experiencing, saying, or doing in the present moment. With practice, mindfulness results in an ability to "step outside yourself"--to view yourself objectively, as from a distance--a critical skill in becoming more introspective.


6. Ask questions of yourself and others.

You can spot people who are severely lacking in introspection with a simple test: they seldom ask questions! Asking questions in an uncritical way means that you are open to experience and willing to hear the answers.


7. Re-examine your conclusions.

What are you absolutely sure of? Make a list of 25 things and then, ask of each: "Is there any possibility that I might be wrong?" The price we pay for growth is that we are forced to let go of outmoded ideas, conclusions, prejudices, etc. Be willing to re-examine every conviction you've ever had. Highly introspective people are often accused of being unpredictable and of changing their minds at the drop of a hat. Maybe so, but consider the possibility that what is really going on is that they are simply more willing to act on new learning in order to grow!

8. Examine your resistance points.

"We often resist what we most need to learn." That's "Rule #11" from a book I wrote in 1993 entitled, "Maybe It's NOT Your Fault, But You CAN Do Something About It." It's true. More often than not, when you really dig into things you resist, you'll find that your resistance masks something you need to learn or something you fear. So, what you are really resisting then, is the requirement to learn the lesson involved. Each time you tackle one of these resistance issues, you learn more about yourself.


9. Complete your past.

One reason we avoid introspection is that we are reluctant to deal with incomplete past issues. Memories, regrets and anger are roadblocks to self-awareness. Getting complete about your past is a process. If there are things you need to learn to be complete about your past, you may want to look at another Top Ten List, #3, "Ten Steps to Becoming Personally Empowered". See particularly Step #8.


10. Try your hand at journalling.

I said, "try", because journalling doesn't work for everyone, and I suspect that it doesn't work for anyone all the time. For most people, there's a time to write and a time not to write. You'll have to experiment to see what is right for you, but here are two tips, not shared by many journalling authorities: (1) Don't worry too much about the structure or organization of your journal; just let it flow as a stream of consciousness, and don't make it an obligatory daily chore; journal when you feel like it, and (2) Don't be concerned if a fair amount of what comes out is, in retrospect, junk, with a few nuggets hidden here and there. Journalling is part creation and part regurgitation,(both necessary processes) and it can take time to sort out which is which.



About the Submitter:

This piece was originally submitted by Shale Paul, Executive Coach, who can be reached at shale@shalecoach.com, or visited on the web at Shale Paul wants you to know: I work with individuals who are committed to getting ahead, changing direction, or simply growing! The original source is: Written by Shale Paul. Copyright 1996, Coach University. May be reproduced or transmitted if done so in its entirety, including this copyright line.



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