The shopper

I’m having trouble communicating with my coworkers. It seems the standard Monday morning greeting has changed from “What did you do this weekend?” to What did you shop for this weekend?”

“Needed a new pair of running shoes.”

“Oh? I didn’t know you went running.”

“I don’t but I’m planning to start any day. Had to take that first step.”

“Oh. So where are they?”

“Couldn’t find any. Then I stopped by the bookstore while I was out, looking for a ’98 car buyers guide.”

“Oh? What kind of car are you looking for?”

“Don’t know yet. Anyway, they were out of stock. I did pick up some new 512-K RAM chips for my memory board.”

“Did you get it working?”

“Didn’t have time. By the time I’d driven all the way down to Googlies’ Computer City, checked out all the new tax-prep software, stopped by Target for some magazine storage boxes and stopped by the grocery store for milk, it was too late to fix dinner. So I ordered a pizza and rented a video and it was bedtime by the time it was over.”

“What did you rent?”

“The Shopping. It’s a new horror flick.”