When Clinton was asked what he thinks about Roe vs. Wade, he answered: "I really don't care how the Haitians get home."   Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.  

Six Presidents were on a sinking ship

Gerald Ford said,   "What do we do?"

George Bush said,   "Man the lifeboats?"

Ronald Reagan said,  "What? Lifeboats?"

Jimmy Carter said,  "Women and children first."

Richard Nixon said, "Screw the women and children."

Bill Clinton said,  "Do you think we have time?"

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Clinton's fan

A member of the Democratic party died and approached the Pearly Gates. After exchanging pleasantries with St. Peter, he asked him what all those clocks in the room were for. Peter said there was one clock for each human being living on earth, and they represented the amount of time each person had left to live on earth. The deceased noticed that some clocks ran faster than others, and asked Peter why some clock hands were moving so fast. Peter replied that when someone tells a lie, the hands will move faster thus shortening the life span of that particular liar. The deceased wondered where Bill Clinton's clock was located. Peter said he keeps that one in the back room and uses it as a ceiling fan.

Clinton's legacy

Over 5,000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised land." Nearly 60 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and, light up a camel. This is the promised land." Now Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise the price of camels, and mortgage the promised land.

Clinton's jog

Clinton is out jogging around in some of the seedier areas of Washington D.C. He notices a good looking prostitute. She sees this and calls out "Fifty dollars!" He's tempted, but the price is a little high so he calls back "Five!" She turns away and Bill continues his jog. A few days later, he finds himself jogging in the same area and as luck would have it, the prostitute is still there. But she won't come down on her price. "Fifty!" she shouts and Bill answers her "Five!" No sale. About a week later, Hillary has decided that she wants to get into shape so she demands to go jogging with Bill. They get to the seedy part of town and the same prostitute is still there. She eyes Bill and Hillary together and yells "See what you get for five dollars"!

Clinton's administration

There is a $100 bill sitting on the floor in the middle of a room and three people in the room:  A Clinton Administration official who tells the truth, a Clinton Administration official who always lies, and the Tooth Fairy.  Lights go out, then come back on again ,and the $100 bill is gone. Who took it?  The Clinton Administration official who always lies, cause the other two don't exist!!!

Clinton's party

A Washington woman calls 911:  "There's a Republican standing outside my window, masturbating!"   "Lady, how do you know he's a Republican?"   "Because if he was a Democrat, he'd be screwing somebody!"

Clinton's definition of safe sex 

Hillary is out of town

 
 

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