"Twas the night 'fore impeachment and in the White House,

The Prez. wasn’t sleeping nor either his spouse

The boxes of evidence were stacked up with care,

In hopes that Bill Clinton would be kicked outta there.

The President tossed and turned in his bed,

Still visions of Monica danced in his head.

Dreaming Hilary was strangling him with that tie;

The President had just awoke with a cry.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

When, to what to his wondering eyes should appear?

But a stretch limousine full of bimbos and beer.

With a bespectacled driver at the wheel of this car,

He knew in a moment it must be Ken Starr.

More rapid than eagles his witnesses came,

Starr whistled and shouted and called them by name.

"Now, Susan! Now, Paula! Now, Monica- you vixen!

On Linda, on Gennifer, on Kathleen and… Nixon?"

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now Linda is taping it, taping it, taping it all!

So up to the housetop the reporters they flew,

With Janet Reno and the Grand Jury too.

And then in a twinkling, Bill heard a big BOOM

He dove under the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom

He stuck out his head, and was turning around

Down the chimney Kenneth Starr came with a bound.

With an ebony robe and a white powdered wig

And brown penny loafers that were made from a pig

A battered old briefcase was slung on his back,

And he looked very happy while opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.

His little droll mouth was drawn up like a bow,

"I’m gonna getcha, Bill Clinton, you know!"

A Cuban cigar Bill held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

"Now, Judge Starr," said the President, "don’t give me that biz.

Things depend on the meaning of what "is" is.

I can’t tell the American people I lied

Or you’ll throw me in jail, you’ll have my hide.

My wife was my friend, my biggest booster,

She’s fixin’ to change me to a hen from a rooster!"

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Starr served Bill the summons he knew he would dread.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,

And closed up the briefcase, then turned with a jerk;

And laying a finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod up the chimney he rose.

Ken sprang to his limo, to Bill gave a call

"Impeachment for you and subpoenas for all!"

                        ~ Kristina Ebsen