Mark 10:2-16

Has everyone heard the old joke?

"What do you get when you play a country and western song backward? You get

your dog back, your truck back, and your wife back."

I appreciate country music for the descriptive titles they use, particularly

when they're singing about troubled relationships:

"My Wife Just Left With My Best Friend and I Miss Him"

 "Our Marriage Was a Failure, but Our Divorce Ain't Workin' Either."

 And here's my favorite, for those who can't seem to make up their minds:

"I'm so Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like You're Here."

The Gospel Lesson before us this morning is no laughing matter for those

whose marriages have ended in divorce. It's upsetting for the preacher,

standing in the pulpit, looking out at the congregation and realizing that

nearly a third of the membership has been divorced at least once. Actually,

at St. James the percentage would be closer to 10 or 15%. Never the less,

sermons preached on this text often include a rather lengthy explanation of

the marriage and divorce customs in Jesus' day---stressing that women were

perceived as disposable property.

Having thus set the stage, the beleaguered preacher, swallowing hard several

times, might even dare to suggest that if Jesus were here today, with things

as they are now, maybe he wouldn't have said what he said. That suggestion is

questionable at best.

As a pastor who has done more than his share of marital counseling, I

certainly feel the tension between the circumstances in which we sometimes

find ourselves and remaining true to Jesus. Only those who have been close to

a marriage gone awry know what it's really like. Divorce produces emotional

leftovers, which aren't always helped when we have a Gospel Lesson like

today's.

 

Consequently, when it comes to the issue of divorce, I believe it's important

to keep in mind everything Jesus had to say about human relationships. Jesus

did say we should seek to keep the family intact. He also said that the

Kingdom of God was powerful enough to split the family apart. Can we live

with the paradox that both are true?

Whenever someone asks me where I stand, personally, on the issue of divorce,

here is my answer:

    "St. James Church has members who have remained single, many who are

married, some who are divorced or widowed, as well as a growing number of

divorced and widowed who have remarried.

    I love and minister to all the members of this church."

As Presiding Minister at most weddings held here at St. James, the words:

"What God has joined together, let no one put asunder."

are spoken by me, over and over again, as the "Marriage Pronouncement." I

spoke them as recently as a weekend ago, when I presided at the Wilmington,

North Carolina wedding of my nephew Dan Hill to his bride Heather McSwain. I

certainly do not take these words lightly for they hang over all brides and

grooms like an ominous cloud.  I can only imagine what must be running

through the minds of those who, standing before this altar, are being married

for the second or third time.  No doubt they are thinking:

"We must keep this marriage together

 or we will have been unfaithful to God twice."

If we are to be true to this text, there is a larger question, which, I feel

very strongly, must be asked. And, that question is:

"What does "God joining people together" really mean?"

 Does it really mean that the instant a clergy person utters the magic words?

"John and Mary, by their promises before God

and in the presence of this congregation,

have bound themselves together as husband and wife."

And the congregation responds:

"Blessed be the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit now and forever."

And the pastor concludes:

"Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder."

Does it really mean that God has in fact joined these two people together?

Here are two insecure, frightened people with enough phobias to make glad the

wallet of any psychiatrist. Is it God who joins them, or is it passion, or

self-interest, or fear, or social pressure? So many young couples with whom I

counsel haven't the foggiest notion of the kind of love described in 1

Corinthians 13 and yet, that is the text most preferred by couples planning

their wedding service.  I'm sure you know the text almost by heart:

    "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous, or conceited, or proud;

love is not ill mannered, or selfish, or irritable; love does not keep a

record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.

    Love never gives up; its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is

eternal.

    Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope And love; and the greatest of

these is love."

Here stands a young man and a young woman who make a "nice couple." They

haven't robbed any banks. They both did well in school and have promising

careers. They are attracted to each other. Their main goal in life is to have

a nice family and "get along" in life. Since they have little if any contact

with the church, both would be happy to have a "legal" ceremony done by a

judge or Justice of the Peace, but their mothers want a church wedding. They

"survive" the wedding counseling, they wish the organist would loosen up a

bit in her insistence that certain musical choices are inappropriate, they

wonder if the minister would mind leaving some of the religious stuff out of

the readings and prayers.

Finally the hour arrives. With afternoon sunlight streaming through our

beautiful, blue, stained glass window, the bride and groom join hands, speak

their vows, and exchange their rings, after which they are pronounced husband

and wife. Has God really joined them together?

Maybe "yes," maybe "no." Whether "yes" or "no," it is tremendously important

to remember that God can also joins people together in other ways that are

just as important as marriage. We are joined together as communing members of

this congregation. We are joined together, as members of the larger Church,

which is the very body of Christ. We are joined together--- as Church and

sick; as Church and poor, as Church and old and young.

Let's stay with the "young" for just a moment. I believe it is more than a

coincidence that our text from Mark's Gospel includes Jesus' indignation at

those who tried to keep little children from him. Here is, perhaps exhibit A

of what God has joined together. Parents who decide to have their children

baptized had better take that decision seriously because, with passing years,

children and Christ belong together---in Sunday School, in Vacation Bible

School, in catechetical classes and in church youth groups. No one should

intentionally separate their children or anyone's children from Christ and

his Church.

Throughout Old and New Testaments, joining people together has been God's

highest priority. Over the years, countless men, women and children, whose

love is accurately described in the 13th chapter of 1st Corinthians have

enriched the Christian Church and its congregations with the kind of love

that comes straight from the heart of God!

In fact, such love and joining in Christ can even happen between divorced

individuals. I have never been taken up on it, but I have offered to bring

divorced couples to this very sanctuary that they might join in a brief

liturgy of "Prayers for Healing at Times of Brokenness."  In that order from

the this Occasional Service Book, special attention is given to the care of

their children, including vows that promise that each will say and do only

what is in the best interest of their children.  

Thankfully, when individuals take seriously God's commands and promises,

"What God has joined together" not only includes married couples, but also

includes all the "faithful." Congregations---made up of individuals, single,

married, divorced, widowed, young and old---who take seriously all of God's

commands and promises are, indeed, more likely to remain together in some

form of respectful, loving community, to the "end;" whether that be the end

of their lives or, the end of time. Something for us all to think about! 

AMEN.