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"HARD ROCK"
Written By: Bob Forward
Produced By: Tom Tataranowicz
Directed By: Tom Tataranowicz
Executive Producer: Rick Ungar
INTRODUCTORY SUMMARY NOTE
"Hard Rock" is an interesting episode for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, we get to see the slightly harder side of the Biker Mice. Usually, they're fun-loving and lighthearted, but in this episode, when faced with an old and very much hated enemy, our boys become deadly serious, not to mention vindictive (not that they don't have their reasons). Also, there's a very cool flashback in this episode, harkening back to the Biker Mice's younger (but not by much) days.
And then, there's the singing…
EPIOSDE SYNOPSIS
This episode opens at a rather nondescript brick warehouse in the city of Chicago. Totally normal-looking building. In short, this is the last place in the world that you'd expect to hold a secret, so naturally, it does.
Greasepit, who always looks suspicious, particularly when he and a large group of his goons are sneaking around, comes around the side of the building and carefully opens the door. Quickly and quietly, he and his troops enter, totally unnoticed.
Once inside, Greasepit turns to his men.
"Youse goons ready to make some money?" he asks.
They shout in the affirmative.
"Then let's start makin' it the old-fashioned way--by printin' it!"
The shot widens. Behind the goons, we see a large printing press, along with drums of ink and rolls of paper (I didn't mention it earlier, but they're all wearing green bankers' visors). Their purpose there quickly becomes apparent.
"So move it, youse goons!" Greasepit orders. "Mr. Limburger wants twenty-five billion counterfeit dollars by five o'clock or else!"
Immediately, the goons get to work, turning on the press, cutters, and other machinery. Sheets of fake bills are printed, and make their way across conveyer belts. They're sliced into individual bills, then wrapped into neat little stacks and spit out at the end of the line.
Greasepit picks up a pair of these bundles and inhales their unique fragrance.
"Mmm-mmm!" he sighs. "Ain't nothin' like the smell of fresh-printed money in the morning! It's like music to my nose."
"Speakin' of music," another goon says, interrupting his leader's reverie, "what's that?"
Greasepit cocks an ear, and hears strains of heavy metal music in the distance, growing louder with every passing second.
"Uh-oh!" he howls.
"What's it mean, baby?" the goon asks.
"I'll tell youse what it means--it means we got mice!" Greasepit shouts. "Battle stations!"
No sooner does Greasepit say this than the Biker Mice burst in through the far wall. They turn and come to a stop underneath a metal catwalk.
"I knew if we followed grease-brain, he'd lead us to Limburger's loot!" Throttle proclaims. Apparently, the mice had been setting up this little sting operation for quite awhile.
"No wonder he can afford to buy up all of Chicago--he prints his own money!" Modo cries.
"Well, it's time we put a little kink in his cash flow," Vinnie chirps.
"What say we spread around some of Limburger's dough, boys?" Throttle asks.
The mice bring up the cannons on their bikes, then fire a round at a stack of pre-printed counterfeit bills. Some of it (presumably) goes up in smoke, while the rest falls like pennies from heaven (or maybe five-hundred dollar bills from heaven) on the goons and the Biker Mice. Modo and Vinnie snatch fistfuls of the fake bills, and take the opportunity to butcher, "We're in the money," singing in toxically nasal voices, "We're in the moola, we're in the moola, we got more than enough of what it takes to whip some taiiiiiil!"
Please resist the urge to shoot your television. It only lasts a minute.
"Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah! Donny, Marie, would you save the harmonizing for later?" Throttle pleads.
"Well, if you don't like our tunes-" Modo replies.
"--how about some Sweet Georgie Brown?" Vinnie asks, turning on his bike's radio. A new strain of heavy metal music fills the air, and Vinnie shouts, "They're playin' our song!"
The Biker Mice shoot forward, toward the oncoming goons. They easily avoid their inept adversaries' fire, and return it, with a much greater deal of accuracy. A few well-targeted bursts send the goons flying. They land in large piles of the fake bills.
"Talk about your golden parachutes!" Vinnie laughs as the mice pull up.
"Yeah! They're rollin' in it now!" Modo jokes.
The three of them step off their bikes and walk over to where the goons are lying, making sure to keep them covered (Throttle and Vinnie with laser pistols, Modo with his arm cannon).
"You know, you boys should really think about a more honest future," Throttle suggests.
Greasepit, who has managed to avoid getting blasted himself, notices the mice's tails lying lazily on top of the conveyer belt. He slips over to the device's control panel and pulls a lever. Within seconds, the mice's tails are dragged into the machine. Our heroes pick up on this pretty quickly--it hurts, for God's sake!--and try to pull them out, to no avail.
"You should worries more about your own future, biker brat," Greasepit chides calmly. "Looks like I got your tails in the wringer!"
"You got tigers by the tail, oil breath!" Vinnie snaps back.
"Let us go, or--" Modo growls.
"--you're gonna be a smokin' grease-stain on the concrete!" Throttle shouts. He turns and tries to fire a round from his pistol at Greasepit, but a counter-blast from one of the goons lying on the floor in front of him quickly knocks the gun out of his hand. Another blast puts Vinnie's weapon out of his reach.
"What's the matter, biker babies? Don't you wanna see your face on money? Along with the rest of ya?"
Greasepit pushes the lever forward, and the press picks up speed. The Biker Mice are immediately pulled up onto the conveyer. They struggle to pull their tails free, but to no avail. They're caught, and with every second, the high-speed rollers grow a little closer…
"Talk about bein' pressed for cash!" Throttle gripes.
Hmm. Y'know, after seeing this, I'm starting to re-think wanting a tail of my own…
"Man!" Vinnie groans. "I always wanted to make a million bucks!"
"Yeah, but not out of mouse-skin!" Modo grumbles.
"We gotta stop the presses, bros!" Throttle says quickly. He points to an ink barrel on a catwalk just above the presses, and shouts, "Modo! Bang that drum, now!"
Modo (the one mouse who can't get his laser knocked out of his hand) raises his arm cannon and blasts the ink drum down from its perch. It falls into the presses, where it gets caught between a pair of rollers. They squeeze it until it bursts. The ink spews out and hits Greasepit in the face, knocking him to the ground. Since his hand was on the lever at the time, he accidentally pulls it down as he falls, stopping the conveyer belt seconds before the Biker Mice would be crushed in it. Instantly, their tails are freed, although Vinnie is left a little melancholic by the experience. He strokes his tail gently and mutters sadly, "Sometimes, this job just ain't fun."
Limburger's goons, meanwhile, are taking advantage of the momentary lull in the action, pocketing as much of the money as they can (who cares if it's fake?). When they realize the mice are once again a threat, they open fire on them.
"Time to settle up accounts," Throttle says coolly.
The mice flatten themselves against the conveyer to avoid the goons' lasers. Modo blocks a shot with his arm. It ricochets and hits three nearby drums, which immediately explode and go flying.
"Didn't your momma ever tell you not to play with fire?" Modo asks with a grin.
The first exploding drums set off a chain reaction, igniting other barrels, which ignite more barrels, and so on and so forth. Soon, most of the place is on fire, with more explosions imminent. The Biker Mice and the goons quickly make their way outside. There, burning bills fall to earth all around them like expensive flaming snow (now that would be a sight to see).
"Whoah!" Modo shouts. "Talk about your money goin' up in smoke!"
"Looks like the Big Cheese just got financially burned!" Vinnie jokes.
"Yeah! That ought to stop him from buying up the planet for a while!" Throttle declares.
"Hey, bros! We got a fire here that requires a bit of our attention!" Modo reminds them, pointing to the burning building before them.
"Time to rain on Limburger's parade!" Throttle shouts.
The mice fire on a water tank on top of the building. It bursts open, spilling cool water all over the edifice, until every last flicker of flame goes out. The water puddles at the mice's feet (up to their ankles, actually), the charred remains of Limburger's fake money floating on top.
"Nothing left but a slush fund!" Modo declares.
"Let's ride, bros!" Throttle calls out.
The Biker Mice tear off down the road, satisfied with a job well done. Vinnie turns on his radio once again, and is delighted to hear the song that comes through his speakers.
"Oh, hey! Mettallicrank! My favorite metal-mashin' music makers!" he cries.
"Now that's music to whip tail by!" Throttle agrees.
"Yeah! Plutarkian tail!" Modo laughs.
A flaming dollar floats past, which the gray-furred mouse catches.
"Gee, I wonder if Limburger's gonna be mad at us?"
Do you really have to ask?
"Blast those bastille Biker Mice!" the Plutarkian howls, clutching a flaming bank note in his hand. "Blister their bothersome bottoms! They've ruined me!"
"S-S-Sorry, boss," Greasepit replies humbly, taking off his hat. Another burning bill sits on top of his head. His overalls are also stuffed with the remains of the fake money. Nearby, Fred the Mutant watches the conversation from atop a small stand.
"It takes cash to conquer this city!" Limburger wails. "And now, it's gone! Woe is me!"
The Plutarkian pulls off his mask and sits at his desk, sobbing. Greasepit replaces his hat on his head, and explains, "I knew we was in trouble the minute I heard that heavy metal music…"
The Big Cheese is in no mood to hear more about this latest failure.
"Will you shut up about…"
He pauses thoughtfully. A smile creeps across his lips (if fish have them).
"…heavy metal?"
"Yeah!" the goon replies. "Dat's the music them mice is always playin' every time they kick our--"
"That's it!" Limburger cries, leaping to his feet.
"What's it, boss?"
"Gold is a heavy metal!"
"So?" the befuddled goon asks.
Limburger sits down at his desk. He picks up a remote control, and turns on a video monitor behind Greasepit. On the screen is a large, high-tech train.
"So, dear boy, I believe Chicago is expecting the arrival of an automated train, filled with Alaskan gold," the Plutarkian explains. "And I believe it will be arriving today."
"You want me to rob the train, boss?" Greasepit asks.
"No, you pitiful poltroon. You'd never be able to pull it off."
Limburger steps onto an elevator platform, which begins sinking into the floor.
"I shall turn this task over to the most terrifying talent in three galaxies!" he bellows. "That monstrous heavy metal maniac--"
"You mean--" Greasepit asks nervously.
"Yes, dear boy!" Limburger shouts as he disappears from view.
"Hard Rock!?" Fred the Mutant cries. "Oh, he's my fave! I got all his eight-tracks!"
Fred pops open his skull and pulls out a trio of eight-tracks as proof.
A slightly disappointed Greasepit rubs his head and mumbles, "Aw, I thought you meant Dwayne Newton!"
In his lab, Dr. Karbunkle quickly fires up the Transporter, per his boss's request, but there seems to be some difficulty bringing the aforementioned Hard Rock to Chicago. Normally, teleportation takes only a few seconds from the time the Transporter is turned on until the villain arrives. This time, however, there's a delay.
"What's taking so long, you cranial cretin?" Limburger asks, growing frustrated.
"There appears to be a certain resistance…." Karbunkle explains, making adjustments to the control panel. He works feverishly for a moment in the Transporter's golden glow.
Suddenly, a puff of smoke fills the booth, and a shadowy figure steps out. Behind him is a large vehicle.
"Ah ha! Success!" the scientist cries triumphantly.
Hard Rock is momentarily in shadow, but we quickly get a better look at him. He's taller than Limburger, green-skinned (given the "little green men" version of aliens so popular in previous decades, this guy looks more Martian than the Biker Mice!). The alien's facial features are extremely sharp, featuring a long, pointed chin. Bushy orange hair falls around his face, and a little down his back. The alien appears to be slightly bow-legged and hunched over, but that could just be the way he's holding himself. In terms of clothing, he dresses like an 80's rock star (kinda obvious, what with the name and all)--the big hair, a long coat, leather choker, and boots with curled, pointed toes. Okay, maybe not 80's hard rock star by your standards, but over the top enough for me to qualify. He even carries a double-neck guitar in his hands, but curiously, it's stringless.
Limburger walks up to greet his newest import, extending a hand to him cheerfully.
"My dear lad, how good to see you again--"
Hard Rock slaps Limburger's hand away.
"Aw, shut your bloomin' yap, you stinkin' pile of Plutarkian pork!" he shouts with a pseudo-English accent.
As Limburger watches nervously, Hard Rock stomps over to where Karbunkle is standing.
"You!" he shouts. "Didn't you see the 'not available' sign next to my Transporter coordinates?"
"I, uh, assumed it was a misprint…." the scientist stammers.
Hard Rock's hands drop to his guitar. He strums where the strings should be. Instantly, the sound of high-pitched wailing fills the air, and a pair of powerful lasers shoot out of the guitar's twin necks. Karbunkle leaps out of the way just in time, but one of his lab tables is utterly destroyed by the beams.
The alien grabs Limburger by the neck and picks him up off of the ground, face filled with rage.
"Now send me back!" he shouts.
"It's just a small job," Limburger explains quickly. "Rob a gold train…get rid of some…meddlesome mice…?" He places a special emphasis on the last few words, as if to tempt the reluctant villain.
"Look," Hard Rock grumbles. "Maybe I need to make it clearer, fish-face."
He throws Limburger across the room.
"I don't work for Plutark anymore!"
With that, he turns and begins to walk back to the Transporter.
"Oh dear," Limburger sighs, rising to his feet. "Dear me. I'm afraid I really must insist."
Hard Rock turns and asks with a grin, "Oh yeah? You and what army?"
"Well, since you asked…"
Limburger presses a button on a small remote control. A door opens behind him, revealing fifty or more heavily-armed goons, each with their rifle trained on Hard Rock.
"This army," the Plutarkian concludes, motioning toward them.
Hard Rock gulps.
"I see your point."
"I expected you might."
The Plutarkian checks his watch.
"Now, since the gold train isn't anticipated to arrive for a few more hours, you may begin by disposing of the Biker Mice." Emboldened by his goons, Limburger points a finger square in Hard Rock's face, snarling, "And I advise you not to fail me."
The rocker looks disgusted.
"Now go!"
Hard Rock jumps into his car and races out of the laboratory. He breaks through a window and jumps his vehicle down to street level (for some reason, alien vehicles seem to survive long drops better than terran ones), where he shoots off in search of the mice.
Limburger watches the departure proudly.
"Excitable," he concedes, "but extremely effective."
The Plutarkian turns to Greasepit.
"You better keep an eye on our musical metal man."
As the contract on their lives is made, the Biker Mice are busy celebrating their early-morning victory over Limburger. They race through the streets of the Windy City, whooping and carrying on, with Charley hanging on for dear life behind.
"We nailed the Big Cheese but good today!" Modo declares.
"Yup! Let's go celebrate, mouse-style!" Throttle shouts.
"Oooh, hot dogs!" Vinnie cheers.
"An' heavy metal!" Modo chimes.
"Root beer!" Throttle adds.
"And rock n' roll!" Vinnie concludes, pumping a fist in the air.
"Oh man, it just doesn't get any better than this!" Throttle proclaims.
The mice jump their bikes high into the air over a stationary car parked at the top of a hill. Vinnie flips his bike, causing Charley to go airborne, along with a bottle-opener. She catches it, and Vinnie catches her, whipping his tail around her waist and pulling her back down onto the bike.
"Oh man!" the white-furred mouse laughs. "Nothing could spoil this day!"
Charley taps him on the helmet with the opener.
"Losing the root beer bottle opener might! You'd better hang on to it!"
Vinnie grins, embarrassed.
Modo turns on his radio.
"Yeah! Crank the metal, bros!"
Charley puts her hands over her ears (actually, over her helmet) and shouts, "How long have you guys been into heavy metal?"
"Always have been!" Vinnie replies proudly. "Always will be!"
"Except for that one time," Throttle corrects, his voice low and somber.
"Yeah, some lousy creep nearly spoiled it for us," Modo adds dourly.
"His name was Hard Rock," Throttle explains (as the leader of the mice, Throttle always seems to get the role of Mr. Flashback, and narrates the next sequence). "Man, that rocker had one bad attitude…"
Viewers got a glimpse of the Plutarkian War once before, in "Rock N' Ride!", when Throttle shared his memories with Charley to explain the mice's past. But there's a big difference between what we saw then and what we see now. The previous flashback featured a battle between the Martian mice and the Plutarkians, and was largely about the plundering of Mars. A very militaristic view of events. This flashback, however, is a much more human (or Martian, if you will) picture of the war. Instead of seeing mice in battle, stoically resisting the Plutarkians encroaching on their land, we see civilians whose peaceful lives have been shattered by the war. Mostly, they are women and children (interestingly, this is the first time we see either (of the Martian variety) in this series). Their screams fill the air. Unarmed and terrified, they desperately try to hide among ruined buildings and gigantic rock formations, clinging to one another as the last islands of sanity in a world that has suddenly gone straight to Hell.
Mars, during the Plutarkian War.
Despite the destruction, there is no conventional firepower to be seen. Instead, waves of raw energy streak across the scene. They aren't lacking in power--they topple whatever is in their way, and are apparently what has wrought such devastation on the area.
At the center of it all, standing on a small plateau, is Hard Rock, guitar in hand. The green-skinned alien plays a series of riffs on it, unleashing another blast of raw energy. It strikes a nearby city, toppling its tallest buildings and spires in a mere instant.
"He tore up a lot of territory on Mars during the Plutarkian War."
Just outside the charred remains of the city, we find a small family standing near the remains of their home: mother, father, and their son, a toddler. All three are brown-furred. The little boy has bright gold hair, like his mother. Both parents are obviously tired and beleaguered. Their son, perhaps not yet aware of just what's going on, looks slightly better.
The shot Hard Rock fired a moment ago rocks the ruins. While these three mice were lucky enough to escape being crushed in their former abode, the boy's teddy mouse wasn't. It's knocked out of the rubble above, and lands at the child's feet, charred and smoking.
"Hurt a lot of innocent folks."
The boy reaches for his toy, but his father holds him back. Instantly, the child breaks into tears. His parents crouch down beside him, trying their best to comfort him. The little boy turns to his mother and continues sobbing.
Just then, a trio of shadows falls across the ground in front of them. The family looks up uncertainly. They need not have feared, however; the new arrivals are friends, not foes.
Standing there before them, illuminated by the flames of the holocaust behind them, are Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie, dressed in their Freedom Fighter togs. They're clearly a bit younger than they are now; Vinnie still has both sides of his face, and Modo's right arm is yet flesh and blood. All three of them bear a concerned look on their faces.
Throttle walks silently to where the child is standing and kneels down beside him. As the boy wipes his tears away, Throttle reaches into his vest and pulls out a brand-new teddy mouse (which happens to bear a slight resemblance to Throttle). The child's face lights up. He eagerly takes it from Throttle, and squeezes it tight as the Freedom Fighter smiles and rises to his feet.
The view changes to a panorama. The sad joy of the last scene is absent from this one, in which we see more snippets of these innocent mice struggling in the field of fire. On a cliff overlooking a small valley, a woman shouts and reaches out, and is pulled back by another mouse. Below, we see small groups of mice holding on to each other. Close to the bottom of the screen, a father hugs his daughter while his son looks through the ruins. And at the top of another rise stand the young Biker Mice, staring coldly at their enemy. In one of the better animated scenes, Hard Rock leaps into the air, strums his guitar, and fires a bolt straight at the camera when he hits the ground.
"We always swore that if we ever saw him again," Throttle concludes, as the scene returns to the present, "man, we'd strip the strings from his guitar."
"For keeps," Vinnie adds somberly.
Suddenly, a bright purple car turns quickly onto the street the Biker Mice are on! The mice have only a second to gawk before the car whips around and knocks them off their bikes. The four of them (Charley's there too, remember?) go flying, and fall into a nearby alley (nice animation on the impact). For a moment, all of them lie slumped against the wall.
Charley is the first to come around. She pulls off her helmet, and suddenly finds herself face to face with Hard Rock, who grabs her by the wrist and drags her to her feet. He tries to force her to get in his car, but the mechanic resists. The Biker Mice stare in horror.
"Naw, it can't be!" Modo cries.
"It's Hard Rock!" Throttle yells.
"He's got Charley!" Vinnie screams.
The mice quickly get to their feet, still woozy from the impact.
Suddenly, Modo notices something off to his right.
"Yeah, and we got trouble!" he shouts, pointing.
A squadron of Limburger's goons drives up. They grin devilishly at the mice, who are extremely vulnerable at the moment.
"Modo! Get Charley!" Throttle shouts. "Vinnie and I will handle these newcomers!"
Throttle and Vinnie whistle for their bikes, which quickly race up and meet their owners. The two mice jump on, and lead the goons down the street, careful to avoid their fire. After a minute or so, Throttle and Vinnie jump their bikes, turning them around in mid-air, so that when they land, they're facing the goons. The two of them then charge toward their enemies, never slowing down or flinching. At the last possible second, they leap from their bikes, which come to a dead stop. The goons hit them and go flying (while their dune buggies are totaled, no damage is done to the motorcycles). A man watches it all from next to a lamp-post, then walks away. Just above where he was standing, Throttle and Vinnie hang from the post by their tails, grimacing.
Modo, meanwhile, is still trying to get Charley back from Hard Rock. The gray-furred mouse rushes toward his foe, and prepares to fire on him-just as another group of goons crests the hill directly behind the mouse. Hard Rock fires a round from his guitar, forcing Modo to run down the street. At the same time, it creates a huge trench that the goons drive right into. Taking the cue, Throttle whips out his pistol and blasts the goons' buggies, forcing them away from the scene, while Vinnie throws a flare at the mess. The gas tanks are ignited, resulting in an explosion.
"Watch it!" Hard Rock shouts, pushing Charley into the alley. The mechanic is none too pleased at being pushed around, but still goes. After the smoke clears a bit, the Biker Mice approach Hard Rock. Vinnie and Modo hang back at bit as Throttle advances, pistol in hand (hey, he is the leader, after all. The job comes with certain perks).
"All right, Hard Rock. It's just you and me now, one on one," the tan-furred mouse says firmly. "So let the lady go."
After a brief stare-down, Hard Rock does just that. But then, he does something the Biker Mice simply weren't expecting--he takes off his guitar and leans it against one the buildings lining the alley.
"There. Happy now?" he asks. "Or should I raise me hands, too?"
"What are you up to?" Throttle sneers.
"Yeah, we were gonna watch him take you apart!" a disappointed Vinnie snaps.
"Ain't no fun if you surrender," Modo adds.
Hard Rock sighs and relaxes a little. "I get the impression you blokes don't like me," he says, grinning slightly.
"Don't like you?" Vinnie laughs. "Sweetheart, I'd rather kiss Limburger on the lips than be on the same planet with you!"
Charley groans, disgusted.
"Hey, it's just your standard hero talk," Vinnie explains quickly. "Macho stuff, you know."
Throttle, however, is all business.
"You destroyed half our planet," he growls.
"Don't you remember us?" Modo asks, annoyed. After all, they certainly haven't forgotten him!
Hard Rock shrugs.
"I destroyed a lot of places," he admits sadly. "Too many to remember. But that was then, this is now. That's not my gig anymore."
"What're you sayin'?" an incredulous Throttle asks as the mice move in a little closer. "You've gone straight?"
"That's right," the former villain explains, face softening a bit. "You see, I met this wonderful girl--Darla, her name is. She changed me. For her sake, I'm not evil no more."
The Biker Mice listen, but remain unconvinced.
"Come on," Vinnie groans. "What a bail of guts (I have no idea what he's talking about)."
"Ah don't know…" Modo says suspiciously.
"Yeah, Limburger didn't believe it either," Hard Rock concedes. "He brought me here, told me to destroy you. I pretended I would, but I was actually comin' to warn you of his plans."
"Now just a minute!" Throttle snaps. "You crashed into us!"
"An accident! I apologize."
"You grabbed Charley!" Vinnie charges.
"Tryin' to get her to safety."
Charley shrugs and admits, "Yeah, that's true."
"Yeah, well, you shot at me!" Modo imputes.
"I had to make you move fast, or those four weirdoes would've landed on you."
"You had Limburger's goons with you!" Throttle shouts (does this mean we're going to go through this the whole "one of the mice says something then Hard Rock says something" thing again?).
Hard Rock is silent. After a moment, he suggests, "I didn't know. Limburger must have had them follow me."
"Well, that's an interesting story, Hard Rock," Throttle concedes. "There's just one little problem."
"Oh yeah?" the musician asks. "What's that?"
Throttle puts his gun right in Hard Rock's face.
"I don't buy it!"
"Yeah!" Modo agrees. "Why should we believe you?"
Suddenly, Charley pushes Throttle's gun down and out of the way and steps between the mice and their enemy.
"Can I say something here?" she asks.
"WHAT?" Throttle shouts.
Calmly, the mechanic answers, "I'd just like to say that I think he's telling the truth. And I'd like to hear more about this 'Darla'…"
So involved are the mice and Charley with Hard Rock that they don't notice the grease dripping into the alley from above. If they did, they would have seen Greasepit standing atop the roof of the building, watching the events unfold below. The goon picks up a small radio resting on the ground beside him.
"Duh, hello, Mr. Limburger?" the goon says into it, glancing down into the alley once more. "I got some news I think youse is gonna find real interestin'. I think that Hard Rock ain't nothin' but a hard head…"
"Man! I can't believe Charley talked us into this!" an uncharacteristically frustrated Throttle snaps as the mice ride down the street. Beside them is Hard Rock, in his car, with Charley in the passenger seat.
"Well, look at it this way," Vinnie replies (here's a switch: Vinnie calming Throttle down!). "Hard Rock wants to get back to 'Darla', and we want him off our planet."
"Yeah, same goal, different reasons," Modo adds.
"Can't you guys see that love has changed this man's life?" Charley shouts from the car. She smiles and adds, "Besides, you guys are way too sweet to nurse a grudge this long!"
"Yeah, well, don't count on it, Charley!" Throttle shouts.
"Gosh, lighten up, will ya?" the mechanic snaps.
"You don't know my past," Hard Rock admonishes sadly. "Can't say as I blame 'em."
They pull up at the Last Chance Garage. Charley steps out of Hard Rock's car.
"Listen, pal, only reason we're going along with this is because bad as you were, Limburger's worse," Vinnie explains.
"And in our book, that gives you a runnin' head start," Modo adds, "but that's all. We still want you outta here."
"That's right," Throttle agrees (sounding a little pissy, I should add). "And to do that, we need to get you to Limburger's Transporter."
With that joyful little condemnation done, the mice take off, Hard Rock following quickly behind. Charley watches them go, looking a little peeved at the mice for being so close-minded.
Back at Limburger Tower, the Big Cheese and Karbunkle are in the laboratory, watching the image of a fast-moving train on a video monitor.
"The train's arrival is imminent, dear doctor!" Limburger exclaims. "I must acquire that gold!"
Karbunkle, standing behind an odd-looking piece of machinery, glances toward the doors leading into the lab and replies, "Never fear, my fragrant fromage. Your agent of acquisition is about to arrive."
The words are no sooner out of the mad scientist's mouth than the Biker Mice and Hard Rock charge through the doors, pulling to a halt within bare inches of Limburger.
"All right! Freeze, fish soup!" Throttle shouts.
The cannons rise up out of the mice's bikes.
"We just need to use your Transporter for a minute," Modo adds.
"Seems your friend here wants to go home," the leader of the mice adds. "We're here to make sure you give him a nice, safe ride."
Limburger, however, is unimpressed.
"Oh, I do apologize, my dear Biker Mice," he says graciously, "but I fear that's not possible."
"Excuse me?" Vinnie asks.
"Uh, let me point out a little something you may not have realized, cheese-face," Throttle interrupts. "You see, we're holding' all the cards here. We've got the numbers--"
"--we've got the guts!" Vinnie shouts.
"--and we've got the guns!" Modo growls.
"So basically," Throttle concludes, stepping off his bike and pointing a finger in Limburger's face, "you just better back off."
"True, all true," Limburger concedes, brushing Throttle's arm out of the way as if it were nothing. "But you see, I have the 'ace in the hole'."
Limburger snaps his fingers. Karbunkle presses a button on the odd-looking control panel, which opens a large metal door on one wall in the lab. Behind it is a huge vat of some boiling-hot liquid, over which hangs a young, blue-skinned girl, bound and gagged.
Hard Rock gasps.
"You see," the Plutarkian continues, "I have invited darling Darla as an…incentive, shall we say?"
"That's Darla?!" Vinnie asks. Never one to ask an inappropriate question at a bad time, he inquires, "If you don't mind my askin', what's so special about her?"
Hard Rock grins sheepishly and replies, "You'd be surprised."
The former villain turns to Limburger.
"Look, what is it you want, you polluted Plutarkian?" he asks.
"Simply your surrender," the fat fish purrs. "Or this frantic young female will be fricasseed fondue!"
The Biker Mice and Hard Rock slowly raise their hands.
As the sun begins to set, the automated train appears on the horizon. Its whistle blows long and loud as it continues along the final leg of its journey to Chicago. Limburger watches it from the safety of his skyscraper.
"What a glorious golden vision!" he cries happily. "With the wealth that train contains, I'll be able to purchase half this planet for Plutark!"
"No!" Hard Rock shouts, grabbing Limburger by the lapels. "I told you--I won't be a villain anymore!"
Limburger pries the musician's hands from his clothes with a courage born of knowing his enemies are completely under his chubby little thumbs.
"Ah, but you forget that you no longer have a choice," he reminds him, looking to his right. Now Darla is joined in hanging over the bubbling cauldron by the Biker Mice, who have also been gagged.
"The lives of your new-found compatriots, not to mention that of your sweet companion, depend on your cooperation."
"And if I do it?" Hard Rock asks, looking up at his lady-love. "What then?"
"They will not be harmed," Limburger answers graciously. "You have my word as a…gentleman."
"They better not be."
Hard Rock calls out to his girl.
"Darla, I'm sorry, but I've got no choice!" he shouts, turning away. He buries his face in his hands and moans, "Every time I try to get out, they pull me back…"
Throttle watches sadly. His eyebrows (I'd say the look in his eyes, but, as always, they're covered up) suggest that he's starting to feel a little guilty about doubting Hard Rock's sincerity earlier…
A moment later, Hard Rock bursts out of Limburger Tower, followed by some of Limburger's goons. Limburger watches them disappear down the road.
"Soon, that glorious gravy train of glittering gold will cram the corrupt coffers of Limburger incorporated," he says happily.
"Yes, your provolone princeliness," Karbunkle agrees. "And in the meantime--"
He motions toward the mice and Darla.
"--what shall we do with these prisoners?"
"Dispose of them," Limburger replies, as if this should be obvious. "Slowly. And painfully."
Throttle, obviously pissed, works his way out of his gag and shouts, "What?! Why, you lousy lump of corruptin' cheddar, you gave your word!"
This amuses Limburger.
"If my word was worth anything, I wouldn't be much of a villain, now would I?" he asks. "Ta-ta!"
The Plutarkian walks off, and an elated Dr. Karbunkle pulls the lever that begins lowering the Biker Mice and Darla into the vat.
As our heroes struggle against their bonds and try to keep from becoming deep-fried Biker McNuggets, Hard Rock and the goons catch up to the gold train. They race alongside it, allowing it to continue on its course rather than stopping it in its tracks (little train pun there).
Hard Rock presses an auto-driving button on his dashboard, then stands with one leg on his car door, aiming a perfect shot with his guitar at one of the cars beside him.
"Kick out the jams!" he shouts, strumming his weapon. The lasers blast a wide hole in the train car, revealing the precious cargo inside.
However, the security breech does not go unnoticed. A large laser pops out of the roof of the train and begins opening fire on the would-be robbers. Two more appear on either side of the hole, but they prove no match for Hard Rock, who takes all three out in a matter of seconds. The way cleared, he leaps into the train.
It's crunch time for our heroes, who weren't able to escape during that little interlude with Hard Rock.
"Hey, Vincent!" Throttle says quickly. "Are you still packin' that bottle-opener?"
Vinnie works his way out of his gag, then replies, "Yeah! I think it's still in my pocket!"
"Cool! Now if I can just…get it…."
Throttle looks over his shoulder, spots the opener peeking out of Vinnie's back pocket, and uses his tail to pull it out.
Karbunkle grins and rubs his gloved hands together gleefully.
"Only a few more seconds, you revolting rodents," he coos, "and you'll be turned into mouse mojos!"
"A few more seconds is all I'm gonna need!" Throttle cries, using the bottle opener to pick open the lock holding Modo's arm cannon shut. When the lock opens, the chain falls off, and Modo quickly moves his gun into position.
"And we're going for take-out!" he shouts, firing a round at the lever lowering the mice into the cauldron. Instantly, they're lifted up and away from the boiling vat. Once over solid, non-lethal ground, Modo uses his arm cannon to cut the ropes binding himself, his bros, and Darla. They fall safely to the ground.
"We're back!" Throttle shouts.
"We're bad!" Vinnie cries.
"We're mice!" Modo yells.
"And we're mad!" Throttle concludes fiercely.
Darla pulls off her gag.
"Oh please!" she begs in a sweet, slightly nasal voice (like Hard Rock, she also has an English accent). "We have to help me Boo-Boo!"
For a moment, the mice are puzzled.
"'Boo-Boo'?" they ask, befuddled.
Suddenly, Vinnie makes the connection.
"Hard Rock's first name is 'Boo-Boo'?" he asks, incredulous.
The three mice laugh, while Darla crosses her arms over her chest indignantly.
"Well, now, I-I think it's a wonderful name!" she protests.
"Well, sister, you must be in love," Throttle chuckles.
"So I guess we better get the two of you back together!" Vinnie laughs, putting an arm around her.
Darla smiles.
Things are going right as planned on the gold train. Hard Rock and the goons, having made their way inside, quickly find the vault containing the bullion (curiously, we could see it from the hole Hard Rock blasted earlier, and yet, if the place where they're standing is where the hole was blasted, then someone made a major mistake, because there's no gold to be seen. Oh well. Nit-picking). Hard Rock quickly blasts open the vault, revealing its golden guts.
"Now for the gold," Hard Rock concludes.
Suddenly, a guard emerges from the vault, coughing.
"What? Who are you?" Hard Rock demands.
"Well, you got a choice, pal," one of the goons says, holding up a pistol. "If we have to blast him, we blast you, too."
The message is all too clear: either Hard Rock kills the guy himself, or the goons will do it for him, and then bump him off as well.
Hard Rock hangs his head down.
"I won't do it," he says sadly.
"Okay," the goon says. "Your decision."
He and his partner place their guns against the former villain's head.
Suddenly, a laser blast blows a hole in the side of the car, through which enter the Biker Mice.
"Yeah!" Vinnie shouts. "Great timing, or what?"
Darla, who had been riding with Throttle, quickly jumps off his bike and runs to her lover, who takes her in his arms and hugs her fiercely.
"You chaps are the greatest!" he cries. "How can I thank you for savin' my lady?"
"Haven't you heroes forgotten something?" one of the goons shouts. He has the guard in a head-lock, and both he and the other goon have their weapons trained on Hard Rock and the mice. "Drop your weapons, or this guard is a goner! Limburger sent us to get this gold--"
"--and we're gonna get it!" the other goons concludes.
Slowly, the Biker Mice lay their pistols on the ground. Hard Rock slowly removes his guitar and places it there as well.
"Boo-Boo?" Darla asks quietly. "Do you they ought to 'get it'?"
"Dearest," Hard Rock replies, "I can't think of anyone who deserves to 'get it' more!"
"Right you are, love!"
Darla points her hands toward the goons. Instantly, they begin glowing bright pink. She fires a pair of energy balls at the goons, who are immediately knocked out of the train and into a river below.
Vinnie peers out the hole made by the blast, and mutters, "I'm starting to understand what you see in her."
"Vincent! Express run to Limburger Tower!" Throttle shouts.
"The Midnight Special, comin' through!" Vinnie shouts, putting his hands on the lip of the hole and swinging upwards.
"Whoo-ooo," Throttle and Modo hoot, making train sounds.
Now, just so this doesn't get confusing, I'm going to do the next part a little differently. The mice and Hard Rock sing a variation of the song, "The Midnight Special" during the next part. To keep from having to type "Vinnie sings", "Throttle sings", etc., over and over again, I'm going to denote their lines a bit more like the script would appear. You'll get the idea as I go.
Vinnie lands on the roof and begins sprinting across the top of the train.
VINNIE: Well, if you're ever in Chicago…Throttle and Modo leap their bikes out of the train. Darla and Hard Rock remain in the train, holding one another (temporarily, of course. This ain't no kamikaze run).
THROTTLE: Oooh, Limburger, you better do right.Vinnie swings into the engine. He grabs a lever and breaks it off, causing the train to veer off the tracks. Soon, the train is following Throttle and Modo through the streets of Chicago. Hard Rock and Darla join them quickly in his car, along with the guard, who does no singing whatsoever (to his detriment--everybody else is having a pretty good time).
MODO: You'd better not steal…
HARD ROCK: And you'd better not fight.
VINNIE: Or Hard Rock will grab you…Our heroes repeat the chorus as they continue through the city. Vinnie leaps out and onto his bike as they--and the train--near their goal (you'll never guess it in a million years).
THROTTLE: …and the Biker Mice will run you down!
MODO: And the next thing you know, cheese-face…
HARD ROCK: You're prison-bound!
THROTTLE: Oh yeah!
ALL (CHORUS): Let the Midnight Special
Shine a light on me
Let the Midnight Special
Shine a light on me
In his office, Limburger is having his typical reaction to finding out the Biker Mice have avoided meeting their maker once again. Still, he's soothed by the thought of the payload Hard Rock is bringing to him, and by the notion that there's no way in Hell the Biker Mice can stop him.
"Even they won't be able to save the train," the Plutarkian declares. "I'll still get all that glorious gold!"
"Yes, your cheesiness," Karbunkle agrees nervously, glancing out the window. "You certainly are going to get it."
"Eh?" Limburger asks, turning around. He looks out the window and is horrified to see the train, along with the Biker Mice, headed for his tower (the train shooting at him is bad enough, but when the Biker Mice are with it, you know the outcome is gonna be bad for Chicago's resident Big Cheese). We can still hear the remnants of their song.
"No! NO!" Limburger howls, pressing his face against the glass.
The train plows through the bottom of Limburger Tower, destroying its base. It passes cleanly through and out the other side, not only eliminating the foundation Limburger's building needs to stay upright, but also denying the Plutarkian the chance to grab the gold that could have been salvaged from the wreckage if the train had simply collided with the Tower instead of going through it (I mention this because before I watched the episode again, I had been thinking, "Wait! Limburger still gets the gold in the end! What's going on here?").
Limburger waves sadly as he watches the locomotive depart.
"I missed my train!" he wails.
And of course, Limburger Tower collapses.
Soon, the Biker Mice and Hard Rock are preparing to part ways, under much more amiable circumstances than any of them could've suspected. Hard Rock sits in his car, along with Darla, outside the Last Chance Garage, while the Biker Mice and Charley stand on the sidewalk.
"I can't thank you Biker Mice enough," he declares. "You know, you're more than brave an' heroic--you're rather forgiving blokes, too."
"Yeah," Darla agrees. "Boo-Boo and I will never forget you!"
"Well," Modo confesses, "it's better to make a new friend than beat an old enemy."
"Even if that new friend is named 'Boo-Boo'!" Vinnie jokes. He and Modo crack up, which annoys Darla once again.
"Oh, don't mind them, love," Hard Rock says, smiling. "They're good chaps. Let's just go home, all right?"
"But how will you get there?" Charley asks curiously. "Y-You guys trashed Karbunkle's Transporter machine!"
"Well, we thought we'd take the scenic route back!" Darla explains.
"The scenic route?" the mice and Charley ask, puzzled.
"That's right!" Hard Rock says.
Darla's hands begin to glow once more. The aura spreads all over the car, until a pink halo surrounds it. Slowly, the car begins to lift up off the ground.
"Ta-ta, blokes!" Hard Rock says, giving them a thumbs up.
"Ride free, citizens!" Throttle shouts back.
"Look us up sometime, love!" Darla cries.
The car shoots off, its two occupants holding on tightly to one another as it disappears into space. The Biker Mice watch it until it becomes a pinprick of light in the sky, then disappears.
"I wonder if she has a sister…" Vinnie says thoughtfully.
"Oooh, men!" Charley shouts, incensed. She hits Vinnie in the arm, then turns her back on his, pouting.
"What? What?" Vinnie asks, puzzled.
(duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!)
Instead of the usual Biker Mice closing theme, "Hard Rock" rolls the credits with the Biker Mice doing yet another variation on "The Midnight Special." Here's the lyrics:
VINNIE: Well, we wake up in the morning…MY FEELINGS ON THE EPISODE
THROTTLE: …Hear the work bell ring…
MODO: …And we march up to the table…
THROTTLE: …We see the same old thing.
VINNIE: Ain't got no root beer upon the table…
THROTTLE: …Ain't got no hot dogs in the pan…
MODO: But you better not complain, boys…
THROTTLE: …Or the cheese'll hit the fan!
CHORUS (ALL): Let the Midnight Special
Shine a light on me
Let the Midnight Special
Shine a light on me….(repeat)
"Hard Rock" is another of my favorite episodes. Originally, this was just because of the flashback--I love flashbacks, and any look at a character's early life--but while I was working on it, I realized this one has an awful lot of good points.
First off, there's the story. As I mentioned earlier, we see the flip side of the Biker Mice's normal good cheer in this episode. At times, it's easy to forget that our heroes did go through a major war, and the virtual extermination of their race. "Hard Rock" reminds us of that fact. The mice's early celebration of their victory stands in stark contrast to their attitude after Hard Rock arrives. The juxtaposition of Throttle's coolness and Vinnie's hot-headedness that I mentioned earlier emphasizes it as well. If I had to pick one of the mice and say that he was the most emotionally scarred of the trio based on this episode, it would definitely be Throttle. He's seems slightly more vindictive than his bros, leading one to wonder if he might have lost someone dear to him during Hard Rock's attack. The flashback helps solidify Hard Rock's status as a major villain (at one point), and makes it easy to understand why the Biker Mice hate him so much.
The theme/moral of the episode is forgiveness and redemption, exemplified by Hard Rock, who has to deal with not only his own dark side but also others' perceptions of him as a villain. As a character, he's interesting and well-rounded. The fact that he doesn't expect the Biker Mice to forgive him shows that he understands the implications of his past, and makes him more realistic. Love redeemed him, through Darla.
The only major problem I have with the story is that the mice forgive Hard Rock so quickly. After all, as Throttle said, he destroyed half their planet! Granted, Hard Rock realizes his mistakes, so he should be forgiven. I just don't buy the fact that the mice are able to do so in less than the span of a day. Had the series been planned out further in advance, then perhaps we would've seen a more realistic warming of the mice to their former foe. Despite this minor shortcoming, however, the story is well-crafted and interesting. The structure could have been improved to make it a bit more suspenseful--if the fans hadn't known that Hard Rock truly had reformed, we would have been watching on the edge of our seats, wondering if he would betray the Biker Mice--but I think it was deliberately written this way so that the moral--"it's better to make a new friend than beat an old enemy"--would be more apparent to children watching.
Second, the animation is very good in this episode. It's good throughout, but two moments stand out. First, during the flashback, when Throttle gives the little boy the teddy mouse, and when Hard Rock jumps up at the end. Second, as the Biker Mice stare down Hard Rock, and Charley's reaction to Vinnie saying that he'd rather kiss Limburger than be on the same planet as Hard Rock.
The singing may be what really makes this episode stand out. This is really the only time throughout the series when the Biker Mice sing an entire song. What's more surprising is that they don't do a bad job. It's a little awkward when they start singing as the train is going through Chicago, but given Hard Rock's musical orientation, it's appropriate. The second variation of "Midnight Special" during the closing credits is much better, and more faithful to the original lyrics. Curiously, our heroes' rendition of this classic folk song is absent from the Biker Mice audio CD, which is a pity, because it's better than any of the songs actually on it.
I like the singing, and I love this episode. You might hate the singing, but you'll probably still like Hard Rock. It's available on video, on "The Pits", with the episode of the same name. E-bay is a great place to pick up the first-season tapes, usually at a bargain price. Simply enter "biker mice" in the search field, and a listing of available Biker Mice products will be given. Amazon.com is another good place to go looking. Searching through Yahoo and AltaVista might also turn up video sources online. You won't regret your search. Good luck!
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