My constant worries are family reunion with relatives, wedding dinners and social gatherings... because I am always bombarded with the questions of marriage... (sigh)... which is why... if possible... I try to escape from all these sort of gatherings.

In my own opinion, I think Asian gay people will understand what sort of pressure we faced with family and society...when we tell them that we are gay. Unlike western family and society who are more tolerant and understanding towards this kind of lifestyle. I came out in 1995... that is after the death of my mother. As for my dad, he passed away eight years ago. The reasons why I came out so late was because I do not want to break my mum heart. Besides, it is rather difficult to tell her who I am since I am the only male child in the family.

For the time being, I have only opened out to my close family members; that is my sisters, my youngest aunt and uncle, my cousins, as well as a few close university friends. All of them have accepted me for what I am. As for the rest of the other relatives and co-workers, they are still unaware or still guessing as to why I am not married since I do qualified for an eligible bachelor - earning a good salary and good career. Some even try to become matchmaker for me... (sigh).

I was born in Ipoh, Perak. I have two younger sisters and we get along very well. When I was still very young my family moved to Kuala Lumpur, the big city, therefore my memories of growing up in Ipoh was as good as finishing an eight course Chinese dinner and still do not remember what you have eaten.

Life started to get more interesting when I was told of dad having another family prior to marrying my mum... anyway... things turned out to be extremely fine with the other family and us. My first mum is still living and I go to visit her as often as time allows.

My teenager years are like any ordinary teenagers... lot of fun and troubles. I was very curious about the same sex as well as opposite sex. There are some guys in school that I really fancy... but never really did anything... just fantasized about them. I even have a pretty looking girlfriend, which I dated for about a year.

At seventeen, I was send to a boarding school in UK for my further education. I went there together with my cousin (leslie). It was an opportunity for me to expand my knowledge in a foreign land. I spent three years in UK...those years were really exciting... and the knowledge I gained has been really rewarding. Being a teenager and the first time away from home... FREEDOM... I was really having a fantastic time, mostly partying and therefore my grades were never really good. When the exchange rates between our two countries became too unbearable to continue pursuing me education in UK... I asked my parent to send me to US instead.. almost everyone studying in UK did the same thing.

In US ... I have a new beginning... leaving behind the happy-go-lucky days and concentrated on my studies.  I always spent about eight full hours of my off-class period at the library. At the library, I also take some minutes off from my studies to look at cute looking guys. After three years of such torture... I graduated with a bachelor of management degree with a concentration in MIS. I wanted to continue my Master of MIS... but due to my dad ill health, I have to return home.

My first kiss.. oh well.. it was with my elder step-brother (from the other family). He was in his teens and I was just learning the excitement of puberty... and so I got to learn lots of stuff from him... including the birds and bees as well as smoking.  Anyway we did not do anything incest... just normal kissing.

But my first really gay experience was with a friend in UK... the normal kissing, hugging and masturbating.

In US, well...whether it is fortunate or unfortunate... depending on how you see it... due to the growing awareness of AIDS... I really did not pursue any gay encounter.

Returning home has made things worst. Being born Chinese and our culture, the word homosexual was a taboo word. Being the only male child does not help either. So I became as straight as you can get... hiding my identity inside the deep dark closet.

After the death of my dad and later my mum... I finally did come out... but only partially... that I have already mentioned in my earlier page. I had plans to return to US and continue my Master degree... but my plan altered after I met my boyfriend, Aaron.

Coming out was not an easy thing and it becomes worst when you lived in a country that openly criticized you for being different. You sometimes are faced with difficult situations, such as, pretending to enjoy watching straight porno movies that your straight colleagues have an unusual liking for... or being drag into a conversation about which girl you have dated or slept... or keeping silent and not coming out to defend your fellow PLUs when your straight colleagues openly criticized them of being gay.

How I got to know Aaron, well, an interesting story... it was through an introduction from a fellow Malaysian who answered my personal web advertisement. He emails me and told me that he is studying in US at present. In his email, he told me that he was back last year for holiday and got to know Aaron. He asked me if I would like to get in touch with Aaron... sort of matchmaking... so I said why not.

He gave me Aaron email address and I wrote a letter to Aaron and provided some explanations of how I got his email and this and that. I also provided my contact number.  I think after a day or two, I received a reply from Aaron.  Since it was a Friday and I checked my email late, therefore we could not meet during the weekend that Aaron suggested. We communicated further via emails and we chatted on the phone. We met soon after and the rest is history.

I am sure Aaron can tell you more about the things I did on our first few meetings... and that I shall leave it to him... as he is a better story teller than I am.

Recalling those early days of our acquaintances, brings back laughter even until today.

The five years that we have been together is really a happy one. There are times when we do not see eye to eye on certain issues... just like any straight or gay couple... but we learned to accept these differences. Our biggest hurdle in our relationship was at the initial stage... as we try to learn each other weaknesses and strength, as well as friends and family... but once that was through... the whole relationship stays firm.