No Greater Love
by Lynn M. Price
Continued from Chapter 46
Chapter Forty-Seven
Rage and Doubts...
They stayed up part of the night talking, crying, remembering the good times they shared with Salla as they each sought solace from the awful events of the day, each knowing the way to move ahead was to open up, to reach out to each other. They finally dozed off a few hours before dawn.
Xena awoke first, debating whether or not to wake up Mariah. She decided to wake her up; it would do her good to go for a ride, to work out, to go for a swim, to get back into her normal routine. She donned her leathers and shook the flutist to wakefulness.
"What?" growled a sluggish Mariah.
Xena's eyes narrowed a bit at the tone she heard in her friend's voice, a tone she had *never* heard before. "Wake up, kiddo. Get your staff and let's go for a ride."
"Don't want to," she responded in a surly voice as she rolled over.
"Come on," Xena said as she ripped off her blankets. "You need this." She had a gnawing suspicion how this was going to play out. Better it's dealt with it now before it festers any longer, she thought to herself resignedly.
Grumbling and glaring, Mariah dressed. Xena noticed she wore her regular clothes, not Salla's Amazon garments, but said nothing about that. After a trip to the latrines, they went to the stables, saddled their mares, and were soon on their way.
Despite the beautiful brilliance of the morning, Mariah's thoughts were with her dead friend, her anger growing with each passing minute. Scout was confused by Mariah's lack of direction, but she had followed the big warhorse on many other mornings, so that's what she did. The flutist barely noticed when her horse pulled to a stop beside Argo.
The warrior was well aware her friend's irritable mood, correctly attributing it to the previous day's occurrences. She grabbed her staff and dismounted, telling Mariah to do the same. The scowling flutist did so, in a bad humor, her rage building up a good head of steam. Time to get it out in the open, the warrior thought; she has to deal with the sadness *and* the anger. It'll eat her up if she doesn't.
"Who are you mad at, Mariah? Me, Salla, or yourself?" the warrior goaded.
Mariah turned and looked at her friend, her eyes narrowing at her words. "What?"
"You heard me. You've been sulking and stomping around all morning." It hurt her to say this, but she had to draw Mariah out of her shell of anger before it was too late to do so.
"Leave it alone, Xena," Mariah said, her voice low. She kept a tenuous rein on her emotions; she didn't want her simmering anger to bubble over.
"No, I won't leave it alone," the warrior prodded. "Come on. Answer me!" Xena kept at her, pushing her buttons to generate the needed reaction; it didn't take long.
"All right! You want to know who I'm mad at? I'm mad at everyone, OK?" Mariah fairly screamed the words, ripping the scab off her concealed rage, blue eyes blazing. "I'm mad at you for dragging my sorry ass out of bed! I'm mad at Solomos for bringing his army here! I'm mad at myself for not doing more to stop those raiders! I'm mad at Salla for getting killed while saving me! And I'm really, *really* mad because I can't do a goddamn thing about any of it!" She grabbed her staff and ran for the nearest tree, tearing into it with a vengeance, swearing and screaming out her rage against yesterday's awful events.
"Why?" Mariah yelled over and over as she pounded the tree. "She was turning her life around! She was moving on! Why, dammit? Why? She never had a chance!"
Xena did not try to stop her; her friend needed to deal with these violent emotions, to purge the rage from her system. And once Mariah dealt with the anger, she would be ready to move on. She walked over to her when the flutist sat down against the tree, breathing hard, spent, the sweat on her face mixing with her tears.
"Feel better?" the warrior wanted to know.
Mariah looked up. Xena was glad to see most of the anger was gone. "Yeah, a little." She grimaced as she flexed her fingers; she noticed she still wore her wedding ring. She took it off and put it on her necklace before her fingers swelled too much to do so. "I don't think that did much for my hands."
"No, but it probably did your soul and your psyche a world of good." She sat down next to her friend and examined her. "They're just a little swollen. A good soaking in the river will help. Come on," she said as she got to her feet and pulled up Mariah. Mariah surprised her, wrapping her in a hug, the warrior glad to return it.
"Thanks, Xena." She pulled back after a few moments and looked up at her friend. "But how did you know?" Mariah knew the anger would come, just not that quickly.
"Been there, done that, my friend," Xena said simply. "Been there, done that."
They walked towards the river. "Xena, what do you think of this whole Right of Caste thing?" Mariah wanted to know her friend's views.
Xena did not hesitate as she answered, understanding her friend's unspoken concerns. "It *is* an honor, Mariah, one that's not passed on lightly. Salla wouldn't have given it to you if she didn't think you could handle it."
"Do you think I can?"
"It doesn't matter what I think, Mariah; you have to have faith in yourself. But, yes, I know *you* can," Xena's tone of voice conveying her strong belief in her friend's abilities.
They reached the river. "Just so you know," Mariah said, "I'm really not mad at you." She grinned a little, shamefaced, up at the warrior, embarrassed by what she had said earlier. "That was just my sorry ass talking," she said, her voice apologetic.
Xena grinned back at her, unconditional forgiveness shining in her vivid blue eyes. "I know," she replied in a gentle voice as her eyes grew mischievous. "Hey, you hear one sorry ass, you've heard them all."
Mariah couldn't resist a small chuckle as they took off their clothes and went for a swim.
Upon returning to the village, Mariah and Xena stabled and tended to their mares. When Mariah returned to the hut, she took off her regular clothes and put on Salla's garments. Like Gabrielle told her, she had to get used to being an Amazon now that she soon would become one.
She thought about Xena and Gabrielle's words. On the ride back to the village, she took a good look at herself and realized they were right. She wasn't the same person she was when she first met them all those months ago; she was stronger and more capable. But she still didn't know what kind of Amazon she would make; she didn't feel especially warlike, and the only weapon she was proficient with was her staff. She knew a little about fighting tactics, but nothing of battle strategies. What could she offer these warrior women that they didn't already possess? That question was uppermost in her mind when Gabrielle walked in, fresh from her morning trip to the latrine.
"How are you?" the bard asked as she dressed. She studied her friend's face; Mariah didn't look as haunted as she did yesterday, the queen thought. Gabrielle noticed when she awoke that Mariah had not gone out dressed in the Amazon garments; she was glad to see her friend now wore them.
"Better," Mariah admitted. She sat on the bed and flexed her slightly swollen and still-throbbing fingers.
Gabrielle's eyes narrowed as she noticed the movements. "What happened?" she asked as Xena entered the hut.
"Oh, she a had a little run-in with a tree," Xena answered in a nonchalant voice.
"Beat the crap out of it is more like it," Mariah sighed. She told the bard how her anger over the previous days' events resulted in her attacking a tree with her staff.
"Hey, I've done that myself," the bard reflected as she sat down next to Mariah, remembering the time she thought Xena had died during their battles against the warlord Talmadeus. "I know exactly how you feel."
"You know," Mariah began, "I'm going to go through with the Right of Caste, but what can I offer them that they don't already have?" Her friends saw the questions on her face.
Xena sat on the bed next to her and Gabrielle. "Oh, you mean besides your strength, your courage, your humor, your wealth of life experiences, your musical talents, and your friendship?" The warrior looked at the bard and winked. "No, outside of that, I can't think of *anything* you have to offer, can you Gabrielle?"
The queen chuckled as she put a hand on Mariah's shoulder. "Will you stop worrying? You'll be fine; you'll see. If *I* can do it, you can do it." Gabrielle stood up. A loud, long, rumbling growl was heard in the room; Mariah and Xena exchanged a knowing glance. That growl meant one thing.
It was time for breakfast.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Initiation...
The day passed quickly and sunset drew near as the Amazons prepared to welcome a new member to their family.
The ceremony took place where the funerals took place the night before. Mariah noticed no trace of the twenty-one pyres remained. She shivered a bit at that. The flutist wore Salla's ceremonial garments, Eponin and Solari having helped her dress for the initiation.
Gabrielle and Ephiny once again stood on the dais, wearing their hawk masks, as did all the other Amazons. The one face Mariah recognized was Xena's; the warrior's face was the only one that was bare. She stood off to the side, watching the ceremony. A huge bonfire roared and the Amazon musicians played their song of welcome as the women circled the blaze. The regent raised her hands and silence descended.
"Sisters!" Gabrielle stated. "First we honor the passing of the Right of Caste to twenty warriors." The regent read the names of the twenty women who received the Right from those Amazons who had died in battle the day before. The twenty stepped forward to accept the Right. They returned to their places when they finished.
"Sisters!" Gabrielle began. "Tonight we end our mourning period and welcome a new Amazon to the tribe. Mariah of Tyldus, step forward."
Mariah did as she was told and walked up to the dais. She did her best to hide her nervousness, a light sheen of sweat on her upper lip the only sign of her discomfort, her apprehension.
Gabrielle looked down at her friend standing in the firelight, remembering her own initiation. It was time for Mariah to accept Salla's Right and swear the oath.
"Mariah of Tyldus, you have been given the Right of Caste by the warrior Salla. Do you accept it?" Ephiny intoned.
"I do accept it," Mariah answered without hesitation, her voice strong.
"Know that by accepting it, you carry on her line and her clan. Are you prepared to do so?"
"Yes."
"Do you swear to abide by the Amazon code and laws in all you say and do?"
"I swear it."
"Do you swear to learn our ways and to be a part of the Amazon life to the best of your abilities?" This last part of the oath was in deference to the fact that she couldn't remain at the Amazon village.
"I do." Those two words brought to mind another ceremony, the one she shared with Myklos and her friends on the summer solstice.
Solari came forward with Salla's sword. She first presented it to Gabrielle and Ephiny, and then slid it into the sheath hanging from Mariah's left hip. Eponin approached carrying Salla's hawk mask. She alsopresented it to her queen and regent before giving it to Mariah. Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, Mariah lifted the mask and fit it over her head.
"In the name of Hippolyta, our greatest, in the name of Artemis, our guardian goddess, and in the name of Gabrielle our queen, I welcome you to your new village, your new home, your new family," Ephiny said as the ritual came to an end.
A cheer rose from the women as they welcomed the newest warrior, their newest sister.
The celebration lasted long into the night.
Mariah had only one wish as she celebrated with her friends.
She wished Salla could've been there.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Dark Nights of the Soul...
Mariah's time with the Amazon was nearing its end. Only a few days remained before she, Xena, and Gabrielle would journey back to Tyldus. She used that time to learn what she could about the Amazon laws, codes, and customs.
Outwardly, the flutist seemed fine. Oh, she didn't laugh or joke around as much as she did before Salla's death; the Amazons attributed that to the fact that she missed her friend and would soon be leaving the village.
Mariah *did* miss Salla, and she knew she would miss the village and all of her new friends. But she was troubled. Deeply troubled.
Xena and Gabrielle could see it, as they knew her so well. Despite Mariah's facade, her best friends knew she still hadn't come to terms with Salla's passing. And they were concerned about that. Very concerned.
By day, Mariah was pretty much her normal self. Nighttime, however, was a different story. Every night since Salla's death, screams were heard from the visitor's hut as Mariah's dreams tormented her soul and psyche. Every night she woke up to the worried faces of Xena and Gabrielle staring down at her. And every night, she was afraid to go back to sleep. The stress became so bad that she started having her cancer nightmares again, dreams she hadn't had since her adventures in the Dreamscape. Xena and Gabrielle talked with her, tried to draw her out, but Mariah couldn't take that final step towards letting Salla go; she couldn't break down that final wall. There was one issue she hadn't resolved, and that issue was the most important one of all.
The villagers knew she needed some help, help they weren't able to provide. So the warrior women turned to the gods and goddesses, asking them to help their tormented sister in her time of need. Gabrielle decided to do the same. And with a sad heart, the queen approached the Temple of Artemis. At this point, she didn't know what else to do to help Mariah. The flutist refused to let anyone in over that final barrier, even her two closest friends.
It was the day before they were to leave for Tyldus. The temple priestesses welcomed the bard. "My Queen," said the High Priestess, surprised to see her, "if we had known, we would've been better prepared..."
Gabrielle smiled. "It was an unplanned visit," she reassured the priestess. "I need to ask the help of the moon goddess." The priestesses, respecting her privacy, left her alone in the temple.
The bard approached the altar and knelt before it, bowing her head. "Artemis, I beg of you to hear me," she began. "One of the Amazons, one of my friends, needs your help, your guidance."
"Greetings, my Chosen," smiled Artemis as she appeared and looked down at the Amazon Queen. "What do you need, child?" She knew what Gabrielle wanted, but she wanted to hear it for herself.
"Mariah, my friend and sister, mourns for the Amazon warrior Salla. Salla died saving her life, and Mariah hasn't been the same since."
The moon goddess was well aware of what had happened, and knew much about the woman from the future. "What would you like me to do?" Artemis asked.
"I'm not sure," Gabrielle admitted. "Mariah is a strong person, incredibly strong. It seems a part of her died when Salla died. She's lost her way, she's lost her peace. She needs to move on with her life, and isn't able to do so." Silence reined in the temple until the goddess spoke.
"I've heard your plea and the pleas of your sisters," Artemis began.
"Others have asked for your help as well?" Gabrielle interrupted her. The bard was a bit surprised, but upon reflection decided she shouldn't be; Mariah had made many friends during her visit.
"Oh, yes," Artemis continued, not minding the interruption from her Chosen. "The other Amazons are worried about their newest sister. They hear her cries in the night as clearly as do you and Xena." The goddess was quiet while she determined her plan of action. "I will speak to her, Gabrielle. Between all of us, we can help Mariah come to terms with Salla's death and move on."
"'All of us?'" the bard repeated, her voice curious.
Artemis's chuckle was soft. "Like you, Mariah has many friends, *and* the protection of several goddesses. She just isn't aware of that. But she will be. Very soon," the moon goddess promised.
"I thank you," Gabrielle said, grateful that her friend would receive some much-needed help.
Artemis tucked a gentle hand under her Chosen's chin and lifted her head so as to meet the bard's emerald eyes. "Come visit me more often, Gabrielle. And not just when someone needs help; I miss not seeing you."
"I will," she vowed as the goddess shimmered, then disappeared. The bard rose to her feet and left the temple.
She would leave it in the hands of Artemis.
Chapter Fifty
The Visit...
The afternoon sun shimmered on the green countryside as Mariah brought Scout to a halt. The mare wanted to run more, but the flutist's heart wasn't in it. She removed her staff from the saddle and dismounted, sitting down to rest in the shade of a tree, the horse helping itself to the rich grass.
Mariah sat back and closed her eyes. This time tomorrow, she and Xena and Gabrielle would be on their way back to Tyldus. Upon reflection, she would miss the Amazons, but she missed her soulmate a whole lot more. She vowed to come back and visit them as often as she could. She owed that to them and Salla.
Salla. Gods, she thought, I wish things could go back to the way they were before she died...
"Be careful for what you wish for, Mariah; you just might get it. Didn't you find that out the hard way?"
Mariah's eyes shot open. She jumped to her feet and grabbed her staff, looking about wildly for the speaker of those words. "Who's there?" she asked as she moved among the trees.
"Put your staff down, child, I mean you no harm," the voice said.
Mariah's eyes flickered about the landscape. "Show yourself!"
Artemis appeared in front of her, well out of range of her fighting staff.
Mariah blinked at the apparition. "Who are you?" she asked, stunned at what she saw.
"I am your patron goddess Artemis."
"Artemis? The moon goddess?" Mariah asked, her eyes narrowing.
"You know of another Artemis, perhaps?" the goddess replied with a smile. "Put your staff down, Mariah. I'm here to help you."
"Help me? Help me with what?" Mariah relaxed her stance and lowered her staff.
With a gesture of Artemis's hand, two stumps appeared. She sat on one, and motioned for Mariah to sit on the other. The flutist did so, still wary.
"You know who I am?" Mariah asked.
"I've known about you since you've been here," Artemis informed her, "as have many of the gods and goddesses. We've watched you with quite an interest."
"Then why didn't you make an appearance sooner?" Mariah wanted to know, not sure how to feel about being the subject of so much divine curiosity.
"I had no need until now," the goddess explained. "And I've been asked to intervene. Your Amazon sisters are worried about you. As are Gabrielle and Xena."
Mariah said nothing as she looked at the ground, her mind reeling with this new development.
"Many of them have prayed to me about you." The flutist's head shot up at those words. "They see you are in pain; they hear you when you have your nightmares. They're very worried about you."
Mariah looked up and shook her head as she answered. "I can't let it go, Artemis. It haunts me. Every night in my dreams, I see Salla taking the sword that was meant for me; every night I see her dying. Every night I ask why. It was so...so stupid, so senseless..." she trailed off to silence.
"It's senseless for a friend to save a friend? You saved Salla's life," Artemis pointed out.
"Yeah, but I didn't risk my life for her. I didn't put my life on the line for her like she did for me!" Mariah's voice grew louder the more upset she became.
"But look at what you did for her during the short time you knew her," the goddess argued in a persuasive voice. "You saved her from choking to death. You defended her and her family's honor that night at the tavern when you were wounded. You helped her come to terms with the massacre. You brought enjoyment and laughter back into her life. You were there for her when she needed someone."
Mariah said nothing as she looked back down at the ground.
"What's *really* bothering you, Mariah?" Artemis said gently. She knew, but the novice Amazon had to realize it for herself before she could move ahead.
The flutist looked up, tears in her eyes. "The guilt," she whispered, her heart breaking. "I mean, by the gods, she died saving me. It should've been me who died that day, Artemis. And that's tearing me up inside." The goddess heard the anguish in Mariah's choked voice.
"No, child. If it was your time, you *would've* died that day. It was Salla's time and her choice," Artemis said, her voice soft. "She died the way she wanted to, in battle, defending the life of her friend, her sister. She died with no regrets, Mariah. She's happy now, and she's back with her friends and family again."
"Is she happy?" She looked up, her face expectant. Hope surged in her heart; she needed to know.
Artemis's laugh was gentle. "Yes, of course she is. She's found her peace, too. Remember, you told her she would? She did find it, thanks to your help, your guidance, your friendship." Artemis rose to her feet and walked over to Mariah, putting a soft hand on her shoulder. "Have faith, child. All things happen for a reason; sometimes that reason isn't always obvious."
"You're telling me," Mariah sighed. Artemis chuckled a little at that. Silence reined for a few moments before Mariah broke it with a question as she stared up at the goddess. "May I ask you something?"
"Please."
"You said you are my patron goddess. Have you always been, or just since I became an Amazon?"
"I've been protecting you since you arrived all those months ago," Artemis explained. "How do you think you met up with Xena and Gabrielle in the first place? I knew you would need help, guidance, protection, friendship, companionship. You three have done well for each other; you three have brought out the best in each other, and you three are destined to be together. Xena and Gabrielle will need you as you need them. The Fates weave your threads even as we speak."
"But why are *you* my patron goddess? Why not...oh, Athena?" the flutist asked, curious.
"Because you've always been a survivor, Mariah, a battler, a fighter. This is a harsh world, in many ways more difficult than your old world, and you needed to develop the physical side of yourself even more, especially your fighting abilities, if you were going to survive. And I knew Xena and Gabrielle would help you with that as well. And you've not only survived, child, you've thrived. You've succeeded beyond our wildest expectations."
"'Our?'" Mariah parroted, her eyes narrowing.
"Actually, several goddesses protect you. As your patron goddess, I am your main guardian, but Aphrodite watches over you, too. She has a vested interest in both you and Myklos!" Mariah blushed a bit at her words. "And the Muses guide you as well. Both Euterpe and Polyhymnia are pleased with your musical talents and how you use them for the enjoyment of others."
Mariah shook her head; it was all very bewildering, very overwhelming.
The goddess took pity on her. "I know this is a great deal for you to take in right now. But remember, if you ever need help, all you need to do is ask," Artemis told her with a smile. "And stop by our temples once in a while; we goddesses like to remain in contact with those under our protection." She shimmered and vanished into the afternoon sunlight.
Mariah sat for a few minutes, mulling over what she learned. She got up and walked over to mount Scout for the ride back to the village. She hoped Artemis was correct; she hoped Salla had found her peace.
Now if she could only find hers.
Chapter Fifty-One
Letting Go...
When Mariah returned from her ride, she broke down and told Xena and Gabrielle of her encounter with Artemis and of the guilt that had tormented her so since Salla's death. They had suspected as much, and were relieved Mariah finally admitted it to both herself and them. They hoped by doing so, she would soon be able to move on with her life.
The three friends made an early night of it as they would be leaving in the morning. The Amazons held a going-away celebration for them, wishing them a safe journey, hoping all three would return as soon as possible.
In the hut that night, Mariah told her friends more about her afternoon encounter. "You know, Artemis said she brought us together?" Mariah said, shaking her head. "And here I thought it was pure luck, chance, a throw of the dice."
"Well, whoever did it, I'm happy with the result," Xena smiled. Both she and Gabrielle couldn't imagine their lives without Mariah anymore than Mariah could imagine her life without them. They were that close.
"Artemis was right," Gabrielle said after she heard Mariah's story. "We *have* brought out the best in each other. And it looks like we'll be doing so for a long time to come!" The three friends shared a laugh as they settled into their beds, the warrior and the bard hoping Mariah would have a quiet night for a change.
And Mariah slept.
And as she slept, she dreamed.
She looked around, a bit puzzled. This was not the battlefield; instead, she was in a beautiful green valley full of brightly colored flowers, the sun shining down from on high. She looked around and saw someone walking towards her in the distance. There was something familiar about that walk, and then it hit her: Salla!! She ran over to her friend.
The warrior's red hair was as bright as ever, her hazel eyes shined with happiness, a huge smile on her face as she greeted Mariah. They hugged for what seemed an eternity, the flutist shedding both tears of sadness and joy, before Salla pulled back. "Hey, it's OK," she told Mariah.
"Is it? Are you-" Mariah choked a little, "are you happy, Salla?"
"Yeah." And from the look on Salla's face, she knew it to be true. "But you're not, are you?" Her eyes were intent as she looked at Mariah.
"I miss you," Mariah said simply. "You're a part of my life that's no longer there. And I feel so ashamed about you dying to save me," she whispered, her heart finally casting off its tremendous burden now that she could admit her guilt.
"Mariah, if I had it to do all over again, know that I would do the same thing," Salla told her. And by her words and tone of voice, Mariah knew she meant it. "You are my friend, my sister; you saved my life. I have no regrets, not one, so don't you have any." Salla grinned as she looked at her. "And besides, I'll *always* be with you! You can't get rid of me that easily!" The two friends laughed at those words.
Xena and Gabrielle sat up as they heard Mariah talking in her sleep. Gabrielle leaned over to wake her, but stopped when she heard her say the word "Salla."
The two fell silent until Salla spoke up. "You know I hear you every time you think of me? And as much as I appreciate it, you need to go on living. You have people who need you: Myklos, Gabrielle, Xena, the Amazons. I've found that peace I was looking for. Find yours again, Mariah. You need it. You deserve it."
"Easier said than done," Mariah sighed.
"Remember what you told me? That one day, when you're not even looking for it, you'll find the peace you seek? You had that, and you'll find it again, but you won't find it here with me," the warrior gestured at her surroundings; she then put her hands on her friend's shoulders, looking squarely into her blue eyes. "Let me go, my friend; when you do, you'll be on the way towards finding your peace. But you won't find it if you keep hanging on to the past, hanging on to me. Let it go."
Gabrielle and Xena peered at their friend in the fire-lit darkness; tears streamed out of her closed eyes while she dreamed, but she seemed calmer now than she had been during the previous nights.
Salla hugged her one last time. "Farewell, my Amazon sister. Live well." She turned and walked away.
Mariah watched her go, not stopping her, tears falling down her cheeks. She knew Salla, Xena, Gabrielle, and Artemis were right. It was time for her to move on.
She felt someone give her a gentle shove. She woke up and looked around. She saw her friends stare down at her. "Are you all right?" Gabrielle asked her.
Mariah sat up and wiped the dream tears from her face. "Yeah. I dreamt of Salla."
"And?" Xena prompted, her voice low.
The flutist was silent for a few moments before she spoke. "It's time to leave the past in the past," she said. "I can't bring her back, nor would I want to. She's found her peace; I need to find mine again."
She echoed the sentiment of her dream. "It's time for me to go on living."
The warrior and the bard wrapped her in a strong hugs, saying nothing, relieved that Mariah finally came to the realization of what she needed to do. They each silently thanked Artemis and everyone else involved for helping her see the light. And the flutist found comfort with her friends as she always did.
In the nights that followed, she would still dream of her friend, and she would still mourn her passing, but she would no longer be tormented by the guilt that had plagued her since that fateful day of Salla's death.
Mariah *would* go on living.
And she was finally on the path towards finding her peace.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Leaving...
Mariah had been up since early that morning. After the previous night's dream, she had slept soundly for the first time in many days. When she awoke in the predawn morning, she saw that Gabrielle and even Xena were still asleep. But then she remembered they hadn't been *getting* much sleep either lately as she battled her demons and nightmares. Dressing quietly, she grabbed her flute and went to visit the temple of Artemis.
The priestesses were also asleep. Mariah entered the building, a little unsure of herself. She went up the altar and knelt before it as Gabrielle had done the day before, speaking what was in her heart. "Artemis, wherever you are, I want to thank you for helping me. Thank you for bringing Xena and Gabrielle into my life; thank you for bringing Salla into my life. Their friendship means more to me than you know. Thank you for being wise enough to know what I would need to survive in this world. And thank you for showing me how to move on with my life. I don't know what kind of offerings are usually left for you, but I thought you'd like this." She put the flute to her lips and played the new song that had been running around inside her head since her encounter with Artemis the previous day. It was not a song she would ever play in public or even in front of Myklos or Xena and Gabrielle; no, this song was meant solely for her patron goddess. When she finished, she bowed her head.
"My child, that was beautiful."
Mariah was surprised to hear a familiar voice. She looked up and saw a smiling Artemis standing before her.
"Many people have offered me many items, but few give gifts from the heart such as that," Artemis informed her, touched by Mariah's song. "And a gift from the heart is always the greatest gift."
"I can't begin to thank you," Mariah began, but with a wave of her hand Artemis gently cut her off.
"You already thanked me, Mariah. Continue to live well. And take care of yourself and those you love." The goddess shimmered and then disappeared.
Mariah knelt for a few more moments before she left the temple.
It was time to go home.
Most of the village came out to see them on their way. The horses were saddled and packed, and Gabrielle and Mariah were dressed in their customary clothes, the flutist bringing one of Salla's outfits along as a memento of their friendship and their time together. The other belongings were left in Salla's dwelling which would be Mariah's home whenever she returned to the village.
The newest Amazon turned to her regent. "If anyone ever needs the hut or anything that's in there, please use it. Salla and I would be both be disappointed if you didn't." The regent smiled at Mariah; yes, the
Ephiny thought, Salla chose well when she passed on her Right of Caste. She hugged the flutist, knowing full well she would see Mariah again in the future.
Ephiny turned to say her goodbyes to Xena and Gabrielle while Mariah said her farewells to Eponin and Solari. "Well, my guardian angels, thank you for everything," the flutist said as she hugged them as well. "If you're ever around Tyldus, stop by. I'd love you to meet Myklos."
"Yeah, and I just bet you can't wait to see him again!" Eponin said, her voice full of meaning. Solari laughed at Mariah's blush.
Xena, Gabrielle, and Mariah said the rest of their goodbyes to the villagers and mounted up on their mares, the bard sitting behind Xena on Argo. They rode slowly out of the village as to not kick up any dust.
Mariah turned and waved goodbye to her sisters, her new family. She was sad, but she was secure in the knowledge that she would return some day.
She owed that to Salla and the other Amazons.
And she owed it to herself.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Homecoming...
The trip back to Tyldus took four days. It was uneventful for the most part as the three friends fell once again into their comfortable, familiar traveling routine. On their second night out, as they sat around the fire sipping their tea, Gabrielle asked Mariah a question that had been on her mind for several days.
"Mariah, why couldn't you tell us about the guilt you felt about Salla's death?" the bard asked, her voice gentle.
The flutist stared into the flames as she thought about her answer. "Part of it was shame," she said finally, "part of it was anger, part of it was sorrow...I couldn't tell you two how I felt until I could admit to it myself."
"Why shame?" Xena was curious.
Mariah leaned back as she looked at her friends. "I saw someone sacrifice herself for me, and that got me thinking; if I had been in Salla's shoes, could I have done what she did? Could I have put my life on the line for someone I cared about? Or would I have hesitated and played it safe?" She fell silent.
"And?" Xena asked.
"And then I realized I *have* put my life on the line for those I've cared about. I'm stronger than I thought I was. And know this," Mariah pledged, "if push comes to shove, and if I have to risk my life for those I love, I'd do it in a heartbeat."
"We could've told you that," Gabrielle said softly, thinking of her friend's past heroics against Galvous, in the Dreamscape, with the Amazons. "We've seen you do it."
"But I wouldn't have believed it, Gabrielle," Mariah replied. "The guilt was that overwhelming; and it was something I had to figure out for myself."
"I'm glad you realized it," Xena told her, sympathizing with her friend's struggles, knowing all too well the feelings Mariah dealt with after Salla's death.
"Well, as a former teacher, I can speak from experience when I say you learn the most from the hardest lessons! And this past month, I went through a lot of hard lessons and learned a lot about myself."
"I'll bet you have," Xena smiled, the fire glinting off her blue eyes.
Mariah grinned at her two friends. "How about some music?" she asked as she rose to her feet and pulled her flute from her saddlebag. She rejoined her Xena and Gabrielle at the fire where her up tempo music and her friends' clapping in time to it broke the stillness of the night.
Two days later, they arrived in Tyldus. It was midday, and the marketplace was filled with shoppers. The women walked over to the stables where Ramen worked at grooming a huge black stallion. His eyes lit up when he saw his favorite pupil enter.
"Mariah! You're back!" He walked over and hugged her. "You must've enjoyed Athens, you were there so long!"
Mariah smiled at her teacher, "Oh, I had a wonderful time, Ramen. Do me a favor, will you? Don't tell anyone I'm back yet, OK? I want to surprise Myklos," she said, her voice conspiratorial. Ramen agreed and took charge of Scout after she unloaded her gear.
She walked back outside where Xena and Gabrielle waited. "Are you sure you won't change your mind and stick around for a few days?" she asked them.
"Somehow, I don't think we'd see that much of you," Xena said in a wry voice. "If memory serves, Myklos said you and he would have a lot of catching up to do when you got back!" The three women shared a knowing laugh, Mariah blushing a bit at the not-so-subtle innuendo.
The flutist turned to her best friends. "I hope we'll see each other again soon."
"We will," Xena promised as she hugged Mariah goodbye. "Like Artemis told you, we're destined to be together. And we've been through too much to not see each other again soon!"
"I know what you mean," Mariah shook her head and laughed. "Here we have a warrior princess, an Amazon queen, and an Amazon warrior. Who would've thought it..." she trailed off as she hugged Gabrielle.
"Artemis, that's who," the bard told her with a smile. "She knew exactly what she was doing the day she put you on that path in the forest."
"Hey, who am I to question the gods?" Mariah said with a grin. "But I'm sure glad she did what she did. I sure am glad."
"So are we," Xena said as she mounted Argo. She reached down and pulled Gabrielle up behind her.
"So where will you go from here?" Mariah asked as she stroked Argo's muzzle.
"I think we'll go north for awhile," Xena answered. She turned towards Gabrielle. "You've not seen much of the northern provinces...what do you think?"
"Sounds good to me," Gabrielle said with a smile. "I'm always game to try something new." She looked down at the flutist and her eyes softened. "Take care, my friend."
"You too, my queen," Mariah said with a mischievous look in her blue eyes. "And you two have a safe journey."
"We will," Xena assured her. "And we'll stop by to see you when we get back."
"Stay out of trouble," Mariah teased as she stepped away from Argo.
"Just like you do, hmm?" Xena asked, arching her eyebrow.
Mariah couldn't help but laugh at her friend's words. Xena spurred Argo, and Mariah watched them as they took the northern road out of Tyldus. When they were out of sight, she turned towards Clytos's inn.
She had the sudden urge to take a bath. With her husband.
Epilogue
New Territory...
After making sure all was prepared at Clytos's, and after telling the innkeeper she would soon be playing at his establishment once again, Mariah stopped home and unpacked her saddlebags. She carefully stowed Salla's garments. She was sure Myklos would want to see them later, after she told him of her adventures with the Amazons.
After she unpacked, she headed over to the marketplace to get her man. She carefully threaded her way through the crowds, wanting to surprise him. Luck was with her. She peered into his stall, and saw that he had his back turned. She stole up behind him, wrapping her hands around his eyes. "Guess who?" she whispered in her most seductive voice.
Myklos grabbed the hands he knew so well, the hands he had missed for so long. He turned around and looked into his wife's smiling face. With a shout of joy, he picked her up and swung her around, thankful to have her in his arms once again, thankful the gods returned her safe and sound.
Laughing with delight, Mariah put her arms around him and pulled him to her. Ambrosia could not have tasted as sweet as Myklos's lips, she thought as she kissed her love, her soulmate. After several minutes of mutual tender exploration, he put her down and they looked each other over.
"How long have you been back?" she asked.
"Only a few days," he told her. "I figured you'd probably spend more than a month on your visit, so I took a little longer in Athens. And I bet you have a lot of stories to tell!"
"Oh, you have no idea," she said as she hugged him with a fervor, burrowing her face in his neck. "But right now, all I want to do is hold you, be with you."
Myklos embraced his wife and called out to one of his assistants. "Christo! Come out here." The man peered out and smiled when he saw his boss's wife was back in town. "You're in charge of the shop for the next few days. If anyone wants me, they'll have to wait until I get back. My wife and I have some...catching up to do." Christo grinned knowingly as Myklos and Mariah left the stall arm in arm.
Myklos tried to lead them towards their home, and was surprised when Mariah pulled them away. "We have something to do first," she said, "something I've been looking forward to since I left!" His smile was huge as she led him towards Clytos's inn.
The innkeeper greeted them and led them towards the back room containing the large tub. All was in readiness as Mariah had requested.
"Now before we get in, I have to ask you two questions," she began as she undressed him. "First, how do you feel about exploring some new territory?" His face was confused until he undressed her and saw the five inch scar on her back, courtesy of the infamous barroom brawl.
"How-where did you get that?" he asked, his voice concerned. She silenced him with a soft kiss.
"It's a long story, love, only one of many I need to tell you." And from the serious look on her face, the serious look around her eyes, he knew this to be true. But this wasn't the time or place to talk, and they both new it; there would be time for that later.
They eased into the warm waters, Myklos taking charge of the sponge and the soap. She was a little nervous until she felt his gentle hands soap and caress her newest scar, his lips and tongue running expertly over it. "Mmmm," she said, her voice languid, "it seems you don't mind at all, do you?"
"And second?" he breathed, barely able to speak.
"Second?" she asked, momentarily confused, lost in his ministrations.
He turned her around and held her close, kissing her until she was almost dizzy. "You said you had two questions, Mariah," he teased.
"Oh, yeah," she said as she reached up and kissed him. "How would you like to make love to an Amazon warrior?" she husked into his mouth.
He found he liked it very much.
THE END
Acknowledgments:
Return to Chapter 37-46 of No Greater Love
Return to XenaCrazed's General Fan Fiction and Poetry
Go to the Absolutely XenaCrazed Home Page