"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"" Boots screamed for a consecutive five minutes. Had he not had a high lung capacity, he would have passed out too. But there in the bunkroom were Snoddy, Pie Eater, Itey, Bumlets, and Swifty. And they were wearing bowties. Thousands of them. Boots screamed again and raced out of the bunkroom, back to Tibby's. Well, he would have gone to Tibby's. But he slammed into the door because he forgot to reopen it. Hehe. Pretty soon, the tidewave of bowties engulfed Boots and the muffled cries of six newsies could be heard.

Meanwhile, in the center of the earth...

"Specs! Specs! Specs! Specs!" Les cried, dancing a Les-dance again.

"Shut up, Les." Specs muttered.

"Specs!"

"Shut up, Les."

"SPECS!"

"WHAT!?!?!?"

"Uh...I forgot."

"AHHHHHHHHH!!! WHY ME?"

Mr. Snapple the talking purple bunny found that now was the right time to bounce around some more.

Meanwhile, back at Tibby's...

"Hey, did you heah somethin'?" Dutchy said, concealing his bag with his hat. It wasn't working.

"What's in da bag?" Crutchy hobbled into the restaurant. I have no idea where he was before. Maybe he was selling papers. I don't know. Don't ask me, I'm just the narrator.

"Nothing." Dutchy answered.

"Den can I look inside?" Crutchy asked hopefully.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Cause...uh..."

"Gimme da bag!"

"Get awaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" screamed Dutchy, clutching the bag to his chest and running. He almost bumped into Blink, who was doing the exact same thing. Blink was trying to get away from Mush.

"BLINK! It's me, Mush! Don't ya remembah? What're ya doin', Blink?" Mush wailed.

"AH! GET AWAY! Yer supposed ta say dat ta JACK, not ME! GET AWAY!!!" Blink shouted, tearing through the restaurant. Mush followed him persistantly, begging him to remember...whatever.

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn...

"Darn!" Spot complained. Since he wasn't in Manhatten anymore, he had taken to zapping his own newsies.

"Spot, dere's- *ZAP!*"

"Ah! Dey got- *ZAP!*"

Spot yawned and took another bite out of his moldy bread. He bonked a few newsies over the head with his magic scepter-I mean, cane. Spot was evil. Mwa ha.

Meanwhile, back in the center of the earth...

"*whack* *whack* *whack*" Specs whacked his head against the side of the center of the earth. He was angry. Les was annoying.

"Specs!"

"*whack*"

"Guess what!"

"*whack*"

Les gave up on Specs and went to explore the center of the earth. Maybe he could find some doilies. Or even better, a hotdog!!! Mr. Snapple the talking purple bunny went to follow him. Mr. Snapple the talking purple bunny has no role in the story. Oh well.

Meanwhile, back at Tibby's...

Crutchy turned to Jack. Dutchy had run away before Crutchy could grab the bag. No sense in being an idiot about it, he'd go to pester someone else until Dutchy came back.

"Jack, ya want some sauerkraut?" he asked. Although none of the newsies were exactly sure just what was in sauerkraut, Jack agreed. Crutchy went over to Frank the dancing waiter to order some sauerkraut. Jack went back to talking to Sarah. Just then, Blink ran by, followed by Mush.

"Blink!!! I fell asleep last night!!!" he exclaimed, jumping around.

"Ah! No! Didn'tcha meet dis goil last night? Ah! Never mind! GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Blink screamed, running out of the restaurant. Mush followed him. Betcha Blink was getting tired of running everywhere. Just then, Crutchy came back with the sauerkraut. When no one was looking, he...SNEEZED ON IT!!! Ew! Crutchy had done the same thing to Synder's saurkraut. He was in on Les's plan to make everyone in the whole world sick. Then he handed the plate to Jack.

"Thanks, Crutchy." said Jack.

"MWA HA HA! I mean, ya welcome!" Crutchy replied. Jack lifted the fork to his mouth...and then...the door burst open! All the newsies started screaming! It was the health sanitation officials!

"Cheese it!" came the cries of the panicking newsies. "It's da health sanitation officials!"

"Crutchy!!!" shouted Race as he ran out the door. "Da health sanitation officials!"

But Crutchy was too wrapped up in trying to get Jack to eat the contaminated sauerkraut to pay attention. The health sanitation officials rushed over. They had cool black sunglasses and inconspicous jackets that said "Health Sanitation Officials" on the back. Poor Crutchy. He was doomed.

"That's it. You're coming with us, kid. We know all about your plan." the health sanitation officials grabbed Crutchy's arm.

"Plan? What plan? I dunno bout any plan! My nose, it's got a mind of it's own, always goin'-" Crutchy protested. The health sanitation officials dragged Crutchy away. Serves him right for conspiring with Les.

"Noooooooooooo! Dey got Crutchy!" Jake wailed as they dragged Crutchy off to their highly secretive van with the words "Health Sanitation Officials" on the sides. Jack turned to him.

"Who're you?"

"I'm Jake."

"Well that's a poser name!" Jack thought Jake's name was too close to his own for comfort.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"Hey, are you even a newsie?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Meanwhile, at the lodging house...

"Mrfmrmrmfmfmmmmmrrfff!!!" shouted Itey, Boots, Snoddy, Pie Eater, Bumlets, and Swifty. The bowties were multiplying like rabbits and the bunkroom was packed tightly with them. They were in a sea of couch fabric bowties! On the street below, Bryan Denton was whistling a tune to himself. He was off key and sounded like he was kissing a fish. A tiny corner of the window shattered and a bunch of bowties fell through it.

"Woohoo! It's a rainin' bowties!" Denton cheered, sounding like a hick. The bowties flew out the window in hundreds of hideous patterns. Denton danced a happy Denton-dance. Sarah and the rest of the newsies, who were escaping from the Health Sanitation Officials arrived in front of the lodging house. Snitch passed out at the sight. Skittery started complaining. Poor Skit. (Fox's note: I LOVE YOU SKITTERY!!! Teehee!) Fox decided not to give Skittery any lines because she wanted to...talk with him, yeah, that's it, right, uh huh *coughtalkmybuttcough*. (Fox's note: Shut up, narrator.)

"David! Look, it's a rainin' bowties!" Denton kept dancing.

"Oh someone please hurt me." Davey moaned, banging his head against the wall. Just then, a loud rumbling sound came from the top floor of the lodging house. The windows shattered and a fountain of bowties erupted from the windows, along with six newsies. Denton was buried in the pile of bowties. Itey, Pie Eater, Swifty, Snoddy, Boots, and...was there anyone else in there? Wasn't Bumlets in there too? Yeah, he was. So he came out too. They landed on the enormous pile of bowties. They were happy to be out of the bowtie ocean.

"Yay, no more bowties!" shouted Pie Eater.

"HEY!" said Sarah. "I made those all myself! I also make doilies...do you like doilies?"

"Uh....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Pie Eater, running away.

"Itey!" said Snitch.

"Snitch!" said Itey.

"Guys..." Snitch began gravely. "We have something to tell ya."

"Um..." Jack looked nervous. He didn't really want to know what they were going to tell him.

"Well, we've been thinkin' bout tell ya this for a long time," Itey explained. He blushed slightly.

"Uh..." Race looked the other direction. He was looking for an escape. Even Spot making fun of his harmonica was better than hearing this.

"Um, ya know, ya know how we'se been..." Snitch gulped. "Sharing dat bed for awhile?"

Every newsies' eyes bugged out. They didn't want to be hearing this. Skittery looked wide-eyed at his friend in disbelief. He was back from his...ahem...talking with Fox. (Fox's note- You're pushing it, narrator)

"Well...we, we, can we have our own beds??? PLEASE?" Itey burst out. "It's real uncomfortable wit his foot in me mouth!"

"Yeah and he rolls over too much! Please?" Snitch cut in.

"THAT'S ALL YOU WANTED TO TELL US?!?!" burst out Jack.

"Yeah, what didja think we was gonna say?" Snitch asked. Everyone looked the other direction. I guess there was something interesting over there. Oh well. Since the excitement was over, Davey went back to banging his head against the wall and muttering "why me?".

Meanwhile, back in the center of the earth...

Les came back from his exploring in the center of the earth. He didn't find any doilies. Darn.

"Specs!" he shouted.

"*bang* Why me?"

"There's no doilies here!"

"*bang* Why me?"

"This place sucks! I wanna go home!"

"*bang* Why me?"