doom
by rhiannon macgregor

Into my reverie with stealth and agile grace
You crept among my heartaches and hollowed out a place
Where hopefulness may dwell and anticipate the light
Cowering no more within the shadows of my life.

And with you came new agonies and newer ills to fear
Losing you and being unable to be near
Your brightly shining spirit, my thawing with your smile
The aura that surrounds you, the absences of guile

For one who waits in earnest for the coming of the pain
Your presence made me think I'd not feel it's thorn again.
And my being knew a lightness and a reverential bliss
In knowing you were mine and responsible for this.

Still I know the apprehension of returning to the core
Of fear and desperation and the pleading I deplore
And I see you move away when the shadows hover near
As I hurry to assure you there's no more darkness there.

In agony and ecstasy I stumble through my life
Waiting for it to begin as it ebbs and passes by.
And I cling to the sweet torment of your presence in my days
Knowing when you finally leave me it was I who led the way.

As I squander days between your arrival and your flight,
Unable to let happiness or my spirit soar in light,
I script the words of heartache so familiar from the past
How I knew that you would leave me, how I knew it would not last.

I know even as I live it that my life is free of joy
And free, too, of the wonders and delights love can employ
And plentiful with demons dancing through my happiness
Waiting to erase all hope of tenderness.

Yet as I hold your hat and stand waiting by the door
You linger yet and seem to stubbornly ignore
The darkness of my days, remaining here instead
To soothe the fears away as if they were misled

And so begins a trust that builds deeply from within
As if after all I shan't endure a leaving once again

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about this poem:

nope, i don't really like this one, either. it started out with promise, but the rest of it is total crap. you may be surprised that i put poems out here that i think are crap...i do it as a service to those who have nothing with which to compare my 'great' stuff. :)