where shall i go

by rhiannon macgregor

where shall i go when roads divergent meet
and force me back to reconcile my life?
shall i go forward on aching, tired feet,
or part from destiny, embrace this knife?
upon this sheath i've carved so many days
forgotten more than now i can recall
and ruthlessly i recollect the ways
i brought you to your end, prepared your fall.
and now beneath the right hand of our savior
you are my judge and jury for this end
and i will pay most dearly for behavior
i knew upon which this day would depend.
no clemency can muffle my death knell
as i descend to everlasting hell.

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about this poem:

this was written after the suicide of a 17 year old employee of mine. although i could have done more for him, and probably should have done more, it took me a while to figure out that there is no real responsibility to place when something like this happens, but you still can't help but drag the "what if's" with you through eternity.