Berni's Greek Limericks


T'was a wonderful ancient old Greek,
Taught the whole Western world how to speak,
And think and debate,
On the natural state,
Of Man - what a clever old Greek.
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Oedipus married his wife,
But, it turned out she'd given him life,
And he'd also killed Dad,
When he was but a lad,
So he took out his eyes with a knife.
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A wizened old Greek called Creon,
Said his brother-in-law couldn't stay on,
As head of their state,
With an incestuous mate,
While the plague looked for victims to pray on.
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Aristotle said the very best play,
Takes place in the space of a day.
Then he laid down more rules,
For tragedian schools,
Which, thank Zeus, we've ignored to this day.
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Hercules showed off his brawn,
Almost from the day he was born.
But he never was caught,
In original thought,
From morning through dusk until dawn.
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Crates was a barrel of fun,
Living life in an old empty tun,
"With no home, wealth or wife,
You can make sense of life!"
He maintained, till his last race was run.
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Archimedes was sat in the bath,
"Eureka!" he cried with a laugh,
The solution is clear,
I have got it right here,
And he gave one last pull on his staff.
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In Mycenae once ruled Agamemnon,
With a wife that he could not depend on.
When he came home from war,
The conniving old whore,
And her lover, of him made an end on.
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Clytaemnestra, she had no regrets,
Killing hubby was paying off debts,
When accused she said "Nope",
He slipped on the soap,
And banged his head on the bidet!
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Fact or fiction?

copyright 1999 by Berni Armstrong

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