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One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses.

At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking.

Finally, one of the passengers runs up the aisle yelling, "Let me off this plane immediately. I will not be flown by blind pilots!"

"It's alright," the flight attendant and two stewardesses said, trying to calm the frightened passenger. "We have an automatic pilot installed on this plane."

"Besides, the dog is very well trained!" volunteered one of the stewardesses.

*****

There were a little boy and a little girl arguing on every single subject they can think of by the beach. The little boy kept on looking for a subject that he could make him win arguing since he has not win a single argument yet. Suddenly he got an idea. He pulled down his short and said, "Look! I bet you do not have one of these!"

The little girl ran crying to her mother. Not long after, she came back with a smile on her face. She took off her tiny bikini and said, "My mother said with this I can have as many of yours as I like!"

*****

I am an Italiano. One day ima gonna LA to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.
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