The geography teacher challenged a class of 10th graders with the question, "If you were looking for Rangoon what country would you be in?"
A smart young man in the back, thinking to make the class laugh said, "I don't know about Rangoon, but Kipling once said he saw two Burmese girls walking the road and looking for a Mandalay."
Two friends were sitting at the bar and one was commiserating with the other about his problems. "You remember I told you about my wife's identical twin sister coming over and visiting us quite regularly? I think now I want a divorce."
"Lucky you," responded the other. "I've seen your wife and she's gorgeous. But why would you want a divorce?"
"I sometimes come home and make love to the sister by mistake," complained the confused and unhappy fellow.
"Oh, come on now. Are you trying to tell me you can't tell the difference between the two?" laughed the unbelieving friend.
"Oh, there's a great difference between the two, and that's why I want the divorce," he replied to his friend.
Confucius was a man with a sense of humor. It is said that he posted these very sensible sayings.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Baseball very funny game--man must have 4 balls or no can walk!! Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk. A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability. Support bacteria -- it only culture some people have! Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger. Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Person who stand on toilet must be high on pot. Man with athletic finger make broad jump. He who fishes in another man's well often catch crabs. Man who speak with forked tongue should not kiss balloon. Man who lose key to apartment not get new key. He who sitteth on upturned tack shall surely rise. Even greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert. Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night. Wash your face in the morning, neck at night. He who eat too many prunes, sit on toilet many moons. Elevator smell different to midget. He who throws mud loses ground. When it comes to thought, some people will stop at nothing.
Now you are ready to do a little cruising. There are more jokes coming up.
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