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Just after Lorenna Bobbit brutally cut off her husband's penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. While traveling down the highway, she decided to throw that limp bloody thing out the window. Opening it, she threw that penis as far as she could out across the highway.

Meanwhile, two Canadians driving down the same highway happened to cross right by just as the thing went sailing out the window. The whacked off penis hit their windshield smack dab in the middle. Stunned by the bizarre incident, they drove on quietly not saying a word. About three miles down the road, the one Canadian turned to the other and said, "Man, did you see the size of the male organ on that mosquito?"

*****

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.

The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."

The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.

"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets. I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets. Just shot my wife in the head and shoot that guy's erection clean off."

The man takes another look through the scope, and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

*****

Four blondes walk into a bar. They go up to the bar and ask the bartender for four shots. They raise their glasses and say: "Fifty-one days!" and down their drinks. Then they ask the bartender for another round. They raise their glasses again and say, "Fifty-one days!" and down their drinks. They ask for a third round.

The bartender says, "Excuse me ladies, but if you don't mind my asking, what does 'fifty-one days' mean?"

One of them answers, "We bought a jigsaw puzzle and on the box cover it said 'two to four years', and we completed the puzzle in just fifty-one days!"


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