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Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning. Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper. His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, "That's it! No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, "No butter for you for one month!"

Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead. Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her.

To which Johnny said, "Are you going to tell her, daddy, or do you want me to?"

*****

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"

"No," said his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

*****
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his manhood and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.

A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his private part and again wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He again unzips and takes out his rather large organ and wipes the tip off.

The woman by this time has had all the exposure to this rather bizarre scene that she can take and has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"

The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The woman then sympathetically says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"

The man looks at her smugly and says, "Pepper."


*****
Once upon a time there was a magic bridge. Anyone who dared to jump off from it and screamed what he wished would get what they wished. So three men went there to fulfill their wishes.

The first one jumped off the bridge and screamed "Millionaire!" He landed on a yacht.

The second man jumped off and screamed "Eagle!" He became an eagle and flew above the cloud.

The last one was about to jump when he tripped over the sidewall and screamed "Shit!"


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