Loss

        "When you lose something, you search for it. The search's intensity is based on the value of that which is lost. If the search is successful, there is a sense of a completed circle. But if the search does not produce results, not only is there a sense of frustration and disappointment, but also a sense of incompleteness. This incompleteness then has to be dealt with by either acceptance or a sense of anger or a desire to replace the object with something else, perhaps a copy of that which is lost.

        The loss of a love is usually quite devastating. However that love is expressed whether from person or animal, the circle is again broken. And in some cases, though that love is replaced with another, there are situations and relationships that remain so jagged and so raw with emotion, that there is no effort to replace or rebuild.

        You have an expression - 'Time heals all wounds.' Perhaps. But how is this healing accomplished and is it a true healing or is it a mixture of healing and wound that leaves scars? Visible scars are obviously visible reminders. Inner scars, not being visible, can be hidden away to cause problems at a later time if the wound is not properly cared for.

        Life cannot be experienced for the most part without some loss. And yet, there is little teaching as to what to do when this happens. Some grow from the experience and some are damaged. Though it can contribute to the building of strength, it can weaken in other areas. The areas, most often, involve the emotions, the feelings and the expression of those feelings.

        Sadness is a weight. It is sometimes carried forever and beyond. A time for the release and expression of sadness is necessary and there is no time limit or guideline. It can disappear and suddenly reappear. It can hide itself during the day and come forth in the dream time at night. It can haunt. It can change. It can develop a life of itself where all else is secondary.

        During the times of this type of sadness where there is deep loss, one can feel the weight of the sadness. It must be carried and the burden is sometimes great. How does one take this burden and make it lighter? By thought, desire, and will. Each of these things, in their own way, will contribute lightness. They work independently and not all can be expressed at the same time though there are, of course, exceptions.

        Kindness to self is often forgotten. Gentleness with the spirit within is often forgotten. And love for the wounded self is often neglected. To lighten a loss, we suggest that the burden be placed aside for perhaps a moment, if that is all that can be accomplished. And in that moment, participate in some action of thought that involves kindness, gentleness or beauty for the self. And as the strength grows, let the moments also grow. Let nature heal. Or if you are not one who relates to nature in that way, then choose an activity which will help the lightness to grow. A moment to rest, to observe, to be.

        Recognize that loss is not forever.... though it must seem so."