Separation

        "Separation begins at birth. There is a separation from the physical connection of the mother. For some it is easy, for others it is a stressful occurrence. That symbolic separation follows us, for our beginning has a sense of connection, of attachment as we float in the womb.

        Throughout life there are many small and large separations. They are measured by the intensity of the person experiencing the connection being broken. We leave classes in school and move forward and connect with others in a step by step process. We are relocated and move to a different place leaving family or friends. Children grow up and leave their family homes. Relationships change, and death, a part of the cycle of life creates a permanent sense of separation.

        The physical, mental and emotional state of a person creates the foundation which allows for separations to be incorporated into the experiences of life in a more moderate way.

        Loss is expressed with sadness, and that loss should have its time of grief and its period of adjustment. This adjusting time allows an individual to reassemble a sense of self with one piece or more missing. We see ourselves as part of a relationship, as relating to and interacting with another. When those actions are not there to sustain us or the happiness disappears, loneliness also slips in and takes over the empty space. It is the sense of emptiness, of nothingness that one feels most deeply. We can substitute others and we can substitute activities but it is the change, the different way of being that we must accept.

        When the loss is a death, the effects of separation can be devastating and long lasting. The emptiness is overwhelming and sometimes the pain so unbearable that one wonders if living is possible in the full sense of the word. Numbness sets in and activities and life become a blur of required actions. It is in the time of deep sadness and mourning that the heart seems to break into pieces.

        In the void of loneliness and separation we must begin to replace the emptiness with warmth. It is an experience or journey that involves tears and a sense of letting go. How does warmth help and how to create it? We pull in the memories and hold them in safekeeping, taking them out to look at and re-live. We remember the moments or years that another has brought to us. We treasure the expression of life that is represented by those from whom we're separated.

        As we comfort ourselves, as we journey through the pain and adjustment, we need to take note of our inner self. To go within and connect with the self. That connection within takes away the sense of loneliness, comforts in time of loss, and helps us to gain a new sense of self. We are connected, always connected with Spirit. The Creator has connected with all and there is no separation. It is always there."