Pointers

Let me give you a pointer. Let me give you a tip or perhaps a guide or perhaps a bit of advice. It could mean a learning device or knowledge that leads to further investigation and exploration. It isn't a word that is used much and for that, perhaps, we can be grateful. It is hard to give another a 'pointer' without sounding somewhat more knowledgeable and it can sometimes not be gratefully received. How then do we give pointers when we have had experience and can see where another is headed? How can we suggest or guide without appearing to be all knowing? Using one's own experience as an example can be helpful but how do we get the other person to 'see' the pitfalls that lie ahead if we can see them and they can't? It is when we do not have eyes of 'vision' that we need the wisdom and experience of another. Basically, it must be gently presented. Choices are hard enough to make without someone pressuring another to make a decision based on what is said that is supposed to be helpful or 'right'. The best way is to present choices and alternate choices followed by mutual discussion as to what the results might be. "It has been my experience" is a useful phrase if it is not presented as a final answer as to what works for all. Also, the difficult thing is to allow the choice to be made. Even when one sees a downfall coming, it is important to realize that each individual must make decisions as he/she sees as right and then deal with the lesson that comes as a result. This is how we all grow in understanding.

There are pointers around us if we become aware of them. If we take the time to look at the experiences of those around us or stories of others' lessons, we can then come to a conclusion as to the likelihood of a particular action. It is when we do not look around us and learn from others that we will make the same mistake. As is often said "He/she will have to learn the hard way". There are those who can mentally see the pitfalls and hear the truth of the advice given, but they still must find out for themselves. It is a hard road to travel.

In the age of visual learning at a fast rate, it is a good thing to take the time to read the wisdom of those who have gone before us. It does not have to be philosophy to teach or some heavy, serious reading, but simply the experience and living that another has done. Leave some room in your life to listen to the stories of those in history who have gone through hard times. They may not have left a written guideline, but the way they lived their lives can speak volumes. Finally, leave yourself open enough to consider alternatives, for there are many choices and many paths to choose from and what is appropriate for one may not be the one for you. Listen and learn.