Saying Goodbye

We say 'bye' and think nothing of it. We use it often and it is as natural a part of our lives as if we had been born saying it. Often, at least in some countries, this is followed by 'see you later'. It is said as a fact and without question.Usually when we use these terms, we fully expect that we will see the person or persons at a later date. It is not so easy to say when it is a final goodbye. There is more of a sense of finality and it is not so easy to say 'later'. We are so often overwhelmed with grief at a loss, that we cannot see to the future or even think of it. Those with deep faith can say goodbye easier than others because there is a 'knowing', a sense of separation but a sense of continuity also.

The problem with saying goodbye is the emptiness that it leaves. We have a person, or a companion with four legs, who is our friend, who is loyal and who contributes to our life. Though others will come, it is not the same for each is unique. Long after we have said goodbye, we are affected by how our life has been enriched by those we call 'friend' or relative or spouse. We may have close ties that leave us feeling that only part of us is still alive, still functioning. It is as if a part of us is broken and cannot be fixed. For some it is a crack, a break that can never mend, yet around that empty area, that broken part, or whatever it may feel like, a few strings of peace can be woven. It is when it seems most like it cannot be fixed that one needs to find a quiet place. Mourning takes time and grief heals but slowly, and in its own time. No one can put a time limit on either. We sometimes expect too much of ourselves in a distorted sense of trying to be strong.

When you must say goodbye to someone you love, remain calm and as at peace as you can maintain. Try to create a comfort zone for both the one leaving and the one remaining. Sometimes there is a need to talk and sometimes there is a need for just sharing the time together without words. Listen and sense what is best for the other individual. If you will create a peaceful climate, it will be easier to say 'goodbye', 'see you later', and know that it is true.