It was once believed that the stereotypical pedophile was a raincoat clad "dirty old man" lurking near the neighborhood elementary school. As awareness has grown, the facts have revealed that a pedophile can come from any walk of life, any economical background, religion, or race. A pedophile could be as close as the guy next door or the "grandfatherly" man down the street. There really is no stereotypical type.
Sexual predators prey on the innocence of children. They feed on the thrill of violating trust. Their aim is to find the perfect game and capture their victim. They are child oriented, to the point of obsession. Such deviates spend their time watching children, talking to them, evaluating their mind frame. Child predators dig deep into the psyche of a child. They watch their every move and observe their feelings. As they see each mood, they watch for what activates the change and use it to play upon their emotions.
They play the game slowly. They befriend the child, play with them, and get to know them. They see their chance to advance the game, and they take each calculated move as it comes. Each step is carefully planned to draw the child closer to them. They gain their trust, reinforce it, then eventually violate it.
In an undercover surveillance operation, one child predator bragged how easy it really is while talking to another person on the Internet. He said he could spot a lonely child, who makes the easiest target. He also said without hesitation that it's so easy to gain a child's trust.
All you have to do is pay a little attention to them, make them feel special, and you have them where you want them. He used soap crayons to get the children to undress themselves, encouraged them to do more, even made it seem like so delightful, they asked him to join their fun. He also liked to play in the yard and get them wet with the water hose. Afterward, he would make a big fuss to cause them to think they would get in trouble for going home wet. Then he offered them a T-shirt to wear while he dried their clothes. He stated without reserve that he had never had to undress a child. The children were so comfortable with him that they undressed themselves. Once the clothes came off, the game advanced as he molested them.
A child's mind doesn't travel in the direction that a predator's does. They look at the world differently than an adult. They only see a new friend, who understands them and likes to be with them. These deviates finds way to enter into a relationship with a child and then lure them into the direction they have planned.
SEXUAL PREDATORS:
Will your child fall prey and become the next victim?
We ask you to make the time to talk to your child and tell them that such people exist, be sure they understand why you are telling them this.
This type of education should begin with children as young as three or four. Teach them their body is special and private. Teach them that all the areas covered by a bathing suit are private. Teach them they must never allow anyone to touch their body. Teach them not to undress in front of anyone once they are old enough to do it for themselves. Teach them to tell a parent immediately if someone asks them to undress, tries to undress them, touches them or tries to touch their private parts.
Make sure your child gets plenty of positive attention at home. Victim's are often children who feel lonely, lacking attention and interaction. Spend time with your child. Talk to them. Play with them. Make the most of the time you spend with them. Get to know your child's personality traits; habits, their mood swings. You'll be surprised at what you will learn from them as well as about them.
Teach them not to give out any personal information if someone they don't know asks them for it. Address, telephone numbers, their parent's names. This is a difficult thing for children to understand. They have to give it to teachers at school, police officers if they are lost, or paramedics if they are hurt. Try to help them understand which types of circumstances they can give out information and which ones they shouldn't. Just like a fire drill, create an imaginary situation and then ask the child if they should or shouldn't give out the information. Praise them when they get it right, and explain why they should or shouldn't if they answered incorrectly.
As parents the best thing we can do is to educate our children about the world they live in. Not everyone is good, and not everyone is bad. The bad does exist, and children need to know that. A child won't be frightened if it is approached as a fact of life. Education is the key for all of us. Children are eager to learn.
Use the cards that come in the mail, the ones with missing children, to show an example of a child who has been taken and now no one knows where they are. If you are out in public and see flyers displaying missing children bring it to the attention of your child and make them aware of how you would feel if that was their face on that flyer. Always tell them if someone ever took them from you, that you will not stop looking until you find them. Do not assume they know this. Tell them. Abductors often convince the child that their parents did not want them. It's a ploy they use to keep children from trying to contact someone at home.
Train your children to protect themselves when you are not with them. Start when they are very young and they will learn to watch for signs of something wrong by the time they will be in situations without parental supervision.
When it comes down to what you should teach your child and what you believe your child should know we realize everyone's views will differ; however, please keep in mind that the more information and understanding a child has, the better kinds of judgments they can make. We would all like to believe that our children will use their own instincts; however, a child doesn't think that anything bad will happen to them. This is their innocence. It is our duty as parents to be sure they understand the severity of this problem and that they can be educated and aware without scaring them. It can be done. It must be done! After all it's your child's life we are talking about here!
Parents please don't let your young children walk to and from school alone! I see it every day in my own neighborhood and it truly worries me. Children as young as 5 years old walking blocks and blocks to and from school alone. By doing so you have just made your child the perfect target for becoming a victim! If you cannot take them to and from school each day yourself make arrangements with a friend, relative or neighbor. There is always a solution if you just take the time to find one. Set up a car pool and if you don't have a car set it up like a car pool but take turns walking them with other parents in your area who can! It is your responsibility to your children!
Set up the same types of arrangements for playing in the park. Walk your children down the street to their friend's house to play. If it's nearby, simply take the time to watch them arrive safely and have them call you before they leave so that you can keep an eye on them, instead of letting them roam the streets alone. Know where your children are and who they are with at all times!
The most important thing we can say to parents these days, is that the world is not the same as it was when we were growing up. We all have to be careful these days. Violence is more prevalent. The risks are much greater. Make the time to be sure your child is safe. Make your children's safety and overall well being a priority!
Below you will find some very important information on how to educate your child. Please take the time to read it. I also urge you to keep in mind the things above that are not listed here. Used together, these can all make the difference in keeping your child from becoming the next victim of such a horrific crime.
What Can You Do To Protect Your Children From Child Predators?
Public awareness is being raised concerning the national tragedy of missing children. Not all missing children are runaways; some children just seem to vanish without a trace.
We cannot always be with our children, so we must trust their intelligence and good judgment. We can teach our children to be alert to the world by giving them the knowledge to cope with the times they may find themselves in danger.
1. Parents can help protect their children by teaching them awareness of dangerous people and the lures used to entice children. Children should be AWARE not AFRAID of the dangers! Through education, perhaps we can prevent a child's disappearance.
2. Set aside time to talk to your children about dangerous people and strangers. Gear the talk to your children's level of understanding. Be straightforward, without frightening a sensitive child.
3. Keep current files on your children. Include a recent photo(update it at least four times a year for children under two, at least twice a year other wise.), physical description, extra activities, and friend's names, addresses and phone numbers. Obtain a set of foot print or finger prints through local law enforcement or qualified professionals. Maintain dental or medical records.
4. Abductors usually select a child they think will be an easy target. They look for children who walk to school alone, take shortcuts, or seem to be alienated from other children. Quite often they watch playgrounds and observe children's play habits.
5. Be cautious when you select someone to care for your children. Meet them and check their references. If your children must be left alone, explain the proper way to answer the telephone and the door.
6. Teach your children their full name and yours, phone number with area code, and address with zip code. They should know how to make local and long distance calls; use a pay phone; call home and law enforcement departments; and dial "0" for the operator or 911 in an emergency.
7. Mentally note the clothes your children wear EVERYDAY! Avoid putting names visibly on clothing or belongings. Know where your children are at all times. Never leave them unattended in a public place, car or store. Children should play in supervised areas only.
8. Be sure your children know what to do if you are separated while shopping. They should not look for you; they should go to the nearest clerk and ask for help!
9. Explain who a stranger is. Children should never enter a stranger's home, get into their car, or take gifts from them. Explain when the child has the right to say NO to an adult. Be aware of anyone who pays an unusual amount of attention to your children. Listen to your children if they don't want to be left alone with someone. Ask them to tell you about anyone who asks them to keep a secret or any new adults they meet.
10. As a family, choose a family code word. Instruct your children to never go with anyone who does not know the code word. Stress that the word is not to be given to anyone. Change it frequently. Ask the school or day care center to notify you immediately if your children are absent. Inform them of people authorized to pick up your children. Have the same person every day if possible.
11. Encourage your children to use the buddy system. Advise them what to do if a stranger follows or approaches them. Get to know your neighbors and establish "safe homes" where children can go for help.
While the computer age has opened a whole new world for our children to explore and learn from, the "information superhighway" also has a dark side we all need to be aware of. Just as they prey on land, Pedophiles lurk on the Internet waiting to lure innocent children into their web of deviance, looking for their next victim.
These deviates meet others who claim children for their victims, share stories, pictures and encourage each other along the way.
The tricks they use on the Internet are a little different. They can hide behind the screen. No one can tell if they are 12, 20, 40, or any age. They know how to relate to children and find it easy to communicate on that level. They present themselves in areas children frequent and pose as children. They get to know the child they are communicating with and pass themselves off as a friend. Often, they will use smoking cigarettes, using drugs, talking about sex, or some activity they should not be involved with as an incitement to lure the child to meet them without anyone knowing.
The trap is then laid. An adult will lure the child out to meet with them. Thinking it's another child, they set off to meet their friend. What happens next depends on the plan of the predator. For some, this would be enough. The fact that they won their trust enough to get them to meet them may be all the ground rules they need to molest the child. Some may attempt a closer relationship by playing the con a little longer.
The key to all of this, is that child predators are cons. Their goals are as varied as their egos. The limits for one may just be the beginning point for another. There is no way to predict how any given predator will react. Their personalities differ. Their needs are not the same in many ways. There is only one thing they have completely in common. That is the fact that they find their thrill in luring a child into their well concocted plan.
If you own a home computer please advise children of any age of the following rules, which may reduce your child's risk of exploitation:
1. NEVER give out any personal information such as your last name, address, telephone number, your parents first or last names, their work phone numbers, name of their employer's or business names, the name or location of your school. Make them understand they must always ask you and get your permission first!
2. NEVER to send anyone your photograph or any other items via the Internet without obtaining your parent's permission even if someone insists you will not get into trouble. If someone repeatedly asks for your photo please be sure to alert your parents immediately.
3. NEVER respond to any messages that make you feel uncomfortable! Don't allow someone to say mean or naughty things to you, they have no right to do so! If you do come across someone doing this please get your parents right away so that they can get the person's user ID and possibly their IP address so that they may contact the on-line service.
4. NEVER agree to get together or meet with anyone you meet on-line. If someone asks you to meet with them first discuss it with your parents. If your parents agree to the meeting, be sure they come along and that you meet in a very public place such as a mall or something.
The more you know, the more you can teach your children to be aware of the world around them. There is so much good in it. They should be able to enjoy it, safely.
A portion of the above information was obtained from a leaflet publication copyright United Children's Fund, Washington, DC 20006 and is being displayed on this site to create awareness. This information is for your personal benefit and is in no way intended for use other than stated.
A portion of the above information was obtained from a leaflet entitled "Sexual Predators , which is distributed in my local area by the BSO.
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This page was updated on: October 12, 1997
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Copyright 1997. All rights reserved.
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