April 1, 1997
St Kilda
You can cut it like a knife. Thick, cloying, and everywhere 'round here at the moment.
Kitten hunting again today, no luck again. I want to adopt an adult cat, but I'm afraid Big Woobie mightn't agree its such a good idea. I adopted him from the RSPCA when he was three years old and almost feral, but I'm not so sure how I'd go introducing a new adult to the pack.
Well, I ate all the eggs. Even the horrid chocolate "beanies" that came inside the Humpty Dumpty. I felt kind of morose this easter.
I have a guilty secret to confess. We went to see Beavis and Butthead film again last night. I laughed. Harder this time I think. I knew when the funny bits were coming and I found myself giggling uncontrollably. Please, I repent, hail mary, oh GOD I'm sorry.
My friend who lost her twins last month, is back in Melbourne. I'm so glad. She came back to the city on Wednesday, and no sooner was she back then she had to be admitted to the hospital, with her third episode of life threatening post-partum bleeding since she lost the twins. On top of all of this, moving interstate, coping with the loss of two babies, looking after her daughter, and the emotional and health problems, she has to move house. I can't even begin to imagine the stress she must be under.
She's so stoic though. She won't accept help from anyone, and she can be so distant and stand-off-ish, that it can be difficult to even be there for her, let alone help in any way. Her behaviour can make me angry sometimes, but I'm angry usually because I want to feel needed by her, to have a place and a role. I feel so selfish when I go through this with myself, but I don't know what to do with the feeling. I just push it under.
That sounds bad. None of my close friends, or in fact anyone that I know is on the net, so I can safely write about this. In any case only my LP and another close friend know about this journal, so I'll take the risk. I won't cover up things just because they can be read here. My friend can read the anger and upset in my voice, actions and face when she sees me, and she knows they are there, so there is no point my not writing about them here.
I am still desperately broke. I try to be so good, but money slips through my fingers. So I didn't go food shopping last week, again, but this time I've got some money to cover it if we start to go under.
Telstra, the gas'n'fuel, water, mobile phone, post box.....yudda yadda, will have to wait a bit longer for their money. Red bills be damned!
Australian "Dinner Time" documentary TV has gone nuts since this Heaven's Gate cult thinger happened. "There could be cult in your street, your suburb, your children's school" If it's not that it's the "Who should control the Internet" Debate Aparently 86% of Australian's think the Internet should be controlled by a government body. Hearing this scares me. Knowing the way law reform, and lobbying works in this country by the time we hear of these "studies" it's way too late for you or I to do anything, and Canberra has a shonky proxy server in the base of Parliament House and we're all sufing around Disney.com and Jeff_Kennett.org.vic.
I am still reeling from the federal government overturning and rewriting a STATE law. Yes Big Brother didn't like the Euthanasia law the citizens and their elected representatives of the Northern Territory made, so he went out and passed a new one, overriding and nullifying their bill.
Hello Democracy.
Yes, I feel a lot better now. I don't often get fired up by politics, but that kind of stuff just kills me. Today was a slow day, public holiday, laze about the house type day, that went nowhere really. We were locked in the house too long, because late this afternoon we began bickering, fighting about nothings. So he has withdrawn (or should I say sulked off?) to the kitchen for a spot of cathartic banging and crashing masquerading as dish washing.
I'm in here ignoring him. I think I'm doing it rather well.
For My Listening Pleasure....
My Friend the Chocolate Cake
Brood
Thanks GeocitiesGet yourself a Free Home Page, Tell 'em I Sent You