At Your LeisureJune 3, 1997
St Kilda East.Today it was cold. Today I went to work. I had lunch with Ashley, it was nice. I am no closer to finding out if my job situation will be made permanent. I crave stability, or a stable confine in which to be unreliable, restless and, well, a little rebellious. Even though my job is quite menial, and not making use of my intellectual or educational skills, I love it. I have dreamed of doing a job that isn't stressful, provides a good income, and is steady and reliable. Easy, sort of like a wallpaper, to provide an easy-listening type background. Not too much signal noise, just a go-there and do it type thing. It is a sort of freedom. It leaves me freed up to do the things I want to do. Flexi-time if I need it, and no hold on my life, my brain or my emotions.
Stop me if I'm crapping on. I watched today the "introductory" episode for the ABC tv, "Race around the World" documentary series they have running. I remember late last year, when I was working three jobs, and I heard about this on the radio. I nearly cried at the opportunity to apply. I got all the paperwork, then never bothered to apply. I wish I had done. I almost couldn't watch the intro to the Race, for being so jealous and envious of those chosen to go. They were the usual band of "alternative", on the edge type young people, you'd expect to have been chosen. I saw them all assembled, ready to leave and I know that I would never have been chosen. I was free then to watch without feeling emotional.
Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to join the "often" ring, when I post just because it's a new day. I still have to repair/replace my archive page, and try to find all the entries that were lost. Well, try to extract them from the bowels of my backed up hard drive. I hope I've got them all, geocities only goes back to late march. I began this whole thinger in November, on the same day I began work at CUC.
bye.
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