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Dear Friend

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Monday
March 15, 1999
Home

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Dear Friend,

This letter is harder to write than I expected. I am well, ambulant, no longer vision impared, employed, sane (to a large degree) and almost the holder of a degree that I thought I'd never get. But something is missing.

I miss you friend. I feel how far away you are. I think about you daily and wonder how you are and what you are doing. Know that in light of all that has happened I can hardly expect sunny post cards, but my thoughts are with you.

I worry sometimes, because I don't feel connected to anything, or haven't for awhile now. People around me have noted my cool, opaque, detached exterior. Smiling benignly gets me through most situations.

Made aware of the circumstance they are surprised by my lack of emotion.

I have been. I still am. It's just gone. Surfaces occasionally, momentarily, fleetingly. The loss, aching deep inside is always there. Afraid to feel it. Afraid of what it means. Afraid to face it alone.

Unfamiliar territory. Charting new ground in small increments. Using my gills to navigate.

Miss you dearly. Fare thee well.

Chary

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