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1997
(for professional advice, seek a professional)
My imagination is gone.
My inspiration is gone.
My reason to live is gone.
I want out of this world.
I am so sad.
There is nothing left to be happy about. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.
I want to see Jacob.
I miss Jacob so much and I feel like I failed him.
I let him down.
I was not a good mother to him.
I should have prayed more for him.
I failed..
But . . .
God knows all about me and loves me still.
When I feel depressed, I have to remember that.
I will get through this time and will go on as long as God wants me here. I am in a unique place that few get to. I can help others go through to the other side. Sorrow is a real thing. Christians and non Christians alike go through it. It's tough.
But the purest, sweetest water is that water that fights it's way through solid rock!
I am that water
I will make it.
* * * * *
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Philippians 4:13 NKJV
It was a beautiful early fall afternoon in North Texas. I decided to take a walk in the woods on our property. (We have 10 acres, 8 of which are heavily wooded). My cat (Monkey) and one of my dogs (So Big) went with me.
We live far enough out in the country to have total privacy. No sounds, other than those of nature, no other people around. As we are walking down the path, Monkey starts to trot out in front of us. So Big and I follow him. Monkey ducks into the woods and lays down on the ground. So Big and I follow.
And there it is . . .
A place like no other. A place of solitude.
This is my "prayer closet" in the middle of the woods.