I am the son of an alcoholic father and an ex-alcoholic myself. Statistics have shown that with alcoholism on the mother's side, a person has about a 75% chance of addiction before he even tries a drug or alcohol.
I remember long ago when I was called to preach in high school. I
developed an effective travelling ministry through the power of the Holy Spirit's
anointing. However I never learned to respect authority figures in my life because it appeared to me I was either better or smarter or more close to God than they were. So I tried to follow the Holy Spirit my own way - without accountability to any man as spiritual authority, a covering over me. Later, I had to endure the spiritual surgery of learning respect for "spiritual authority". As the 12X12 states, "defiance is the outstanding characteristic of many an alcoholic". It was also the characteristic that got Lucifer kicked out of Heaven and Adam and Eve out of the Garden.
I was pursuing a young woman then, who convinced me that I could still do this and
that and be a Christian. I inched my way towards destruction. I started with marijuana. "It's only a herb, one of God's creations." It led to harder things like downers, speed, coke, etc. - finally alcohol. I swore that I would
never drink because I didn't want to be like my father. But I wasn't like my
father when I drank. "I could HOLD my liquor!" I had no idea then that my immediate high tolerance of liquor was a sign of my strong biological predisposition towards alcoholism. So I became an alcoholic. This must be what's so commonly refered to as "magic of the
first drink".
The decline in my life was over a period of years with various ups and downs. Along the way
I would fend off the suggestions of "problems" by saying that I have not done this or
that - a set of excuses that kept getting progressively unconvincing. I was on an
elevator going down. Each major milestone of my disease progression was like
God stopping the elevator and saying, "Why don't you get off?" Sometimes I would
repent only to get back on my hell-bound course again. Each time my heart got harder and more defiant.
I went through a series of treatments attempting not to lose my career,
family, etc., but never one in which I attempted to stop my alcoholism. My last treatment spanned three months on a
locked psychiatric facility for attempted suicide. I had planned a car accident
so as to cash in on a life insurance policy to be given to my loved ones after I died, as the last thing I wanted to do for them. During the attempted suicide, I headed my car towards a concrete railroad trestle at between 70-80 MPH. However
I hit a 5 inch curb and bounced away at a 90 degree angle. I have never seen an
angel, but I KNOW that one deflected that car, and me together with it from total destruction. However, after this failed, I tried to kill myself again and cut my wrists. Then I took 50 tablets of antabuse and chased them down with two quarts of vodka.
About 4-6 days later, I was found unconscious on my bed covered with a scab of
my own blood. I will spare the details. I could not kill myself that day. Sheesh..., come to think of it, the
smartest thing that I ever did was to lead my mother back to the Lord before I walked
away from Him. It must have been her vigilant prayers which covered me with God's protection throughout all those years, until God could get my
attention once more.
It took days in the psychiatric hospital to clear the fog from my head. As it
began to clear, I started to cry out to the Lord. But my prayers seemed to stick
on the ceiling and go no further. The devil's lies changed from "You can do this
or that and still be a Christian" to "You can't go back now!" I finally
discharged from hospital, due to a lack of benefits and money. Though I had stopped taking chemicals for three months I was
still seeing things. My mind was gone. I was scared and desparate and broke - so I
went to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting. I read their 12-Steps and immediately thought myself an "expert", expounding
upon them out of my need to regain control of my life once more. (I do recall
scratching my head on that first step, however!). An old wino later confronted me
with "It was your BEST thinking that got you here!" which took the scales from
my eyes. I could see for the first time that I didn't have a clue about how to help
myself. Utter fright consumed me as I returned home.
Later that night the phone rang. It was a woman who had recently been bothering me frequently about going to
church, and who weathered my abuse persistently. That night I went. I didn't even
wait to here the preaching. I entered a room where the people were praising
the Lord, and the Holy Spirit rushed to me in the same manner as the father in
the Prodigal Son. I was home; I was welcome; God was elated to see me!
I had one foot in AA and one foot in the church, and each one bad-mouthed the other. I couldn't get it. The Big Book
actually quotes the Word frequently and in two places (not one) says, "Be quick to
see where religious leaders are right." In the early-mid 1980's I got a vision for combining the two. An
ex-biker and drug pusher, Doug Lenamond, and I started Overcomers (which later
affiliated with a La Habra, CA-based organization called Overcomers Outreach
started by the Barshops). Our group grew rapidly to over 360 people, many of
whom stayed in our homes for personal discipleship in the same manner as Bill
Wilson.
I resumed the call to ministry that I foresook. "the gifts and callings of God are without repentence". My life demonstrates what the apostle Paul said, in Romans 8:38-39 that no act or depth or demon "can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus"
I was just so grateful to be alive and free then, so much so that I just wanted
to share Christ with as many people as possible. "Freely give as you have freely received." The Lord has been faithful to bless me in my
"tent-making" profession (I have directed three hospital-based chemical
dependency and psychiatric programs, as well as an outreach and transition shelter to mentally ill and homeless people), even though there is no way that my credentials
would have allowed me to do the things that I have done (i.e., I didn't even have certification as an Alcohol and Drug Counsellor until after I took my last position as the Administrative Director over two hospital-based psychiatric units. God's hand does open doors!). That is why I now offer preaching, teaching, counselling, and
program development consulting free of charge to ministries.
Today, I am married again to a very lovely woman, Dawn, a graduate of Rhema
Bible Training Institute. I am a licensed minister and I have my Masters of
Divinity degree from Oral Roberts University. I have been in hospital administration and healthcare benefits management for several years after building and directing psychiatric and chemical dependency treatment centers.
ME, the once crazy guy, once hopelessly addicted to alcohol
and once suicidal. God has made a way for me. I sometimes get into self-pity today when I forget where came
from. Each day, I try to remember what Jesus has done for my life. When I do, there is
NOTHING, nothing I could possibly face that I know, that I know, that I know God will
not make me an Overcomer in. The "Word of my Testimony" has set hundreds
of people free. God WILL set you free too if you just LET GO & LET GOD!
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page
Cross Graphic By Spud
Sista
Last Updated Dec. 2, 1997 Evangelism
Online