salad, and a note explaining that you think
he could stand to lose a few pounds.
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa
that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind
him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread
on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he
comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him
leave until the strippers arrive.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and
sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees
you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed
that last payment, and take off.
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out
where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside,
yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red
nose!" and fire a gun.
