Having been raised by my grandparents I was not close to my mom.
Although she was my grandparents youngest of three daughters,
and she spent lots of time with us, I really didn't know who
she was or her relationship to me until I was 4 or 5 years old.
I saw her a lot, over the years, but there didn't
seem to be any bond there. The only relationship we did have,
was abusive on her part. In some ways I think she felt
that I was her rival for my grandparents affections.
Now that they were both gone, especially after my granny died,
we were able to become closer. But the roles had switched.
Instead of me having someone to confide in and talk to,
My mom seemed to put me in that role for herself.
But we were getting closer, talking on the phone daily.
Then one night 3 months after my grandpa, died
I was up late watching tv trying to wind down to go to sleep.
I couldn't shake this restless feeling, something was not right.
Giving up on sleep I decided to take a shower
to relax. No sooner than I had gotten out of the shower,
than the phone rang. Mom had been badly hurt in a car accident!
She was struck by a car while walking home from my sister job.
I rushed to the hospital only to be told that there was brain damage
and that she wouldn't make it through the night.
I remember feeling cheated, this couldn't be happening again!
Mom fought hard but her body was to badly broken.
She lived five weeks after the accident,
hooked to a respirator, machines maintaining everything that
her badly damaged brain could no longer do.
In those five weeks we bonded more than we ever had before.
I will always have regrets about her death.
Why couldn't we have become closer sooner?
Why did it take the loss of two of the most special people in
our lives to bring us closer together? Why did she have
to be dying to bring us closer? Maybe
the answers will come another time. I feel that
she is happy that she is back in the arms of Granny and Grandpa.

Joann Brunt Moon Vogel

Born August 1940

Died May 1980

My Grandmother's Memorial

My Grandfather's Memorial 

My Father in Law's Memorial