ANNOUNCING: BRAIN
DOUBLER 1.0
(From the developers of ConflictDoubler)
You've doubled your RAM, you've doubled your speed, you've
even doubled your CPU. You're still hungry for more. What
to do next?
DOUBLE YOUR BRAIN!
Since the introduction of the Altair in the mid-1970s,
the power of the average personal computer has grown at an
exponential rate. Today's notebook computer possesses
orders of magnitude more processing power than the Apollo
astronauts took with them to the moon. You and I wouldn't
think of booting up with less than a PowerPC or Pentium;
Neil Armstrong cruised a half-million miles and made One
Giant Leap™ with TTL circuitry!
Despite the explosion in processing power and the
accompanying plunge in costs for RAM and hard disk storage,
many computer users are still disappointed with the
performance of their personal computer systems "In 1985,
when I bought my Mac 512K and an ImageWriter II," says Roy
Cardiff, an early Mac adopter, "it took me about a day to
write and edit a 10 page memo. Now that I have a Mac 8500
32/1080MB and a color laser printer, it takes me... about a
day to type and edit a 10 page memo."
Indeed, our detailed analyses show that over the course
of a 24 hour period, 99.94% of all processor cycles are
spent waiting for you, the computer user, to do something.
In other words, the bottleneck today is not in your
computer--it is in your head.
The lesson is plain. If you want to get more out of
your computer, you're going to have to improve *your*
performance. To help you along, we've developed
BrainDoubler.
In our beta testing, we have found that BrainDoubler
significantly increases the rate at which experienced users
are able to get work done with their computers:
Good Ideas per hour:
w/o BrainDoubler ******************
w/ BrainDoubler **********************************
Bad Ideas per hour:
w/o BrainDoubler ********
w/ BrainDoubler ***************
Coherent Sentences per hour:
w/o BrainDoubler **********
w/ BrainDoubler *****************
(Your results may vary. We've noticed that people with
a general propensity for bad ideas produce a majority of
bad ideas with BrainDoubler. We're working on a fix.
In the meantime, we do not recommend BrainDoubler for
idiots, MBAs, or government employees.)
Look for BrainDoubler at your local retailer/mail order
house.
Available soon!