The Flaming Pop-Tart Experiment
As Performed By Dr. Roger A. Hunt,
Ph.D., Director, American Institute of
Pyrotartology
The Report and all photos used with the permission of Roger A.
Hunt
The Report, by Dr. Roger A. Hunt, Ph.D.
REPORT: Toaster pastry combustibility test
EXPERIMENT DATE: Sunday, September 18, 1994
EXPERIMENT LOCATION: NW Corner, Kearney & 7th Streets,
Laramie, Wyoming
NATURE OF EXPERIMENT: Physical properties of overheated breakfast
pastries within micro-radiant-convective environment; observed
social
effects of same.
DESCRIPTION: The purpose of this experiment was to place the
common
breakfast pastry in a radiant-convective micro-environment of
high
temperature, in order to observe ensuing physical manifestations.
Secondary purpose: to determine whether social
effects of overheated pastries.
Previous test results (see Barry, 1991, p. @) indicate that
overheating
of said pastries should result in combustion of same, producing
organic
atmospheric compounds in the form of smoke, glowing combustion of
organic
material in the form of flames, and possibly partial or total
destruction
of the laboratory apparatus.
The experiment was commenced at 12:45 pm Mountain Daylight Time.
The
principal investigator, R. Hunt, having previously obtained the
laboratory apparatus (one General Electric chrome-plated
four-slot
toaster, approximately 10 years old), cleared a workspace of
about 8 x 8
feet in the lab environment behind his house, between the back
door and
the hedge. Nearby were placed the other needed materials: two (2)
Kellogg's-brand Pop-Tarts(tm), with strawberry-flavored filling
manufactured by Smuckers, Inc; one (1) extension cord; one (1)
fire
extinguisher; one (1) garden hose; and one (1) camera, for
recording the
experiment by photo-optical means.
Hunt's lab assistant, S. Jones (R. Hunt's spouse), the designated
experiment recorder of record, maintained the camera in ready
position.
Hunt's other lab assistant, Z. Hunt (R. Hunt's offspring, age 4.5
years),
was on hand to provide philosophical meaning to the experiment
("WHY are
you burning up our toaster, Dad?") (A third member of the
research team,
assistant assistant lab assistant E. Hunt, age 1.667 years, was
not
present in the laboratory setting, due to a pre-scheduled nap.)
Hunt connected the toaster via the lengthy (approx. 10 feet)
extension
cord to a 110-volt AC wall socket, to supply energy. Hunt then
removed
the silver-colored Mylar foil from the two Pop-Tarts and placed
them in
slots 1 and 2 of the toaster. Next, using a rigid oblong wooden
safety
device consisting of an ordinary broom handle (broom attached),
Hunt
moved the toaster trigger to the "Engaged" position,
and held it there.
Following is a chronology of events:
12:45:00: Toaster triggering mechanism engaged. Coils within all
four toaster slots observed energizing with radiant heat.
12:46:00 Convective heat waves observed rising from all four
toaster slots. Fragrant, faint strawberry odor detected wafting
from
toaster slots 1 and 2 (containing pastries).
12:47:00 Continuation of heat-waving and fragrance-emitting
phenomena; no observable change in experimental vicinity;
observable
change in assistant lab assistant Z. Hunt's behavior ("Are
they burning
yet??")
12:47:30 Toaster begins audible sound-wave emissions, best
described as a cross between a buzz and a rattle.
12:48:00 Faint odor of over-cooked pastries begins wafting over
test site. Buzz/rattle continues.
12:48:30 Visible organic-compound gases (smoke tendrils) emerge
from slots 1 and 2. Death-rattle continues, seeming to grow
louder and
more desperate.
12:49:00 Smoke has thickened to steady stream pouring from open
toaster slots. Fragrant Pop-Tart odor has now changed in
character to
rancid pseudo-strawberry stench.
12:49:30 First sighting of flames emerging from toaster slots 1
and
2. Smoke belching forth in large quantities. Discoloration of
toaster's
formerly-shiny chrome exterior detected.
12:49:45 Flames reach height of approximately nine inches,
accompanied by vaguely-disturbing "crackling" sound
from within slots 1
and 2. Smoke thick enough to cut with knife (Swiss Army, model
37-Z).
Assistant lab assistant Z. Hunt asks, "Why are you burning
up our
toaster, Dad?"
12:50:00 EXPERIMENT ABORTED at this point when lab assistant S.
Jones, at the camera, discovers she has no film and thus no
photographs
of experiment.
12:50 to 12:55 Laboratory site cleaned up.
1:00 to 1:20 Lab assistant S. Jones, accompanied by assistant lab
assistant Z. Hunt, drive to flea market to obtain replacement
toaster,
muttering. Principal investigator R. Hunt prepares site for next
round
of testing.
1:24:00 New toaster (Signature brand, chrome-plated with hideous
lime-green trim in dead-giveaway of late-1960s color scheme, two
slots)
placed in experimental setting. Extension cord connected. Two
Pop-Tarts
inserted. Toaster trigger deployed with broom handle. Assistant
lab
assistant Z. Hunt provides philosophical commentary ("We're
burning up
ANOTHER toaster!") to next-door-neighbor kids (ages 5, 6,
and 7) who have
gathered as experimental observers.
1:26:00 Smoke begins rising SILENTLY from both slots. Observers
noted a distinct lack of any buzzing, rattling, or other signs of
toaster
distress. It was also pointed out that smoke commencement in this
toaster environment occurred a full thirty seconds earlier than
in the
previous round.
1:27:00 Dense, heavy cloud of genuinely-smelly smoke wafts over
observers. Nasal examination indicates that smoke flavor consists
of
rapidly-charring Pop-Tarts along with approximately 25-year's
worth of
ancient toast fragments, now undergoing incineration.
1:28:00 First flames emerge from toaster slots. Unlike previous
round, flames almost immediately attain a respectable height of
approx.
one foot. Neighborhood kids disappear.
1:28:30 Genuinely scary-looking flames shoot from mouths of
toaster slots (not unlike those reported by Barry, 1994, p. 65),
attaining maximum height of approx. 1.66667 feet. Toaster
exterior has
begun changing color to an alarming shade of "dark".
Observers report
seeing curled-up Pop-Tart husks rapidly shriveling inside toaster
slots,
accompanied by loud crackling noise with occasional sizzles. Lab
assistant S. Jones observed coughing as smoke drifts in her
direction and
complaining about "for better for worse, but nobody
mentioned THIS".
Assistant lab assistant Z. Hunt observed yelling to strangers
walking dog
across the street, "HEY!! My Dad's burning up our toaster!
On purpose!"
(Strangers observed accelerating to a trot as they continue
across
intersection.)
1:29:00 Having deemed experiment a rousing success, R. Hunt
releases broom handle and unplugs extension cord. No appreciable
reduction in flames or smoke detected.
1:29:30 R. Hunt aims garden hose at still-flaming toaster while
S.
Jones turns on water. Massive cloud of steam erupts as water hits
toaster, accompanied by extremely satisfying hissing sound.
1:30:00 Experiment concluded as soggy toaster, with
pathetic-looking burnt shriveled waterlogged Pop-Tarts still
inside, is
ceremoniously carried to isolated metal containment facility
(conveniently located out by curb for next-day pickup) and
dropped inside
with a gratifying THUD. Assistant lab assistant Z. Hunt's friend
from
down the street, Neil, shows up and wants to know when we will be
burning
up the NEXT toaster, so he can watch, too.
OVERALL CONCLUSIONS: In general, the experiment succeeded the
experimenter's expectations. The production of scary-looking
flames was
the definite highlight of the whole thing, observers agreed. The
accidental aborting of the first experimental round provided an
additional bonus, by affording a comparison of 1980s-vintage and
1960s-vintage toasters. It was agreed by all present that the
1960s
model produced by far the better results, including the
following:
* More, thicker, and darker smoke;
* Bigger flames;
* No annoying death-rattle, to distract observers;
* More fragrant odors, due to presence of ancient breadcrumbs
and bagel-parts below cooking-planes in slots;
* Better audience participation.
In general, the results reported by previous experiment D. Barry
(1994,
pp. 63-65) were confirmed. Additional work might include: (a)
utilization of different-flavored Pop-Tarts; (b) variations in
the
toaster environment, including age, brand, and content and/or
quantity of
previous crumb-deposits; and (c) performance of the experiment
indoors,
so as to avoid potential uncontrolled interruptions of the
experimental
environment by passers-by such as police, who, it is speculated,
may not
be sensitive to the delicate demands of pure scientific research.
REFERENCES: Barry, D. (1994) "Tarts Afire", in _Dave
Barry Is Not
Making This Up_. New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., pp. 63-65.